rate_review Reviews

Chapter 22: Oh, that’s mean, TW! (*pales*) Just the thought of anyone having sex with Gai is enough to scare me! >_< .

Actually, I liked the first line of the scene. . . . You know, I always wanted to see a fight between Kabuto and Sakura. . . . I thought it was interesting that Sakura learned the genjutsu Kakashi used on her early on in the manga. She is a genjutsu-type, after all. =) . . . . I wonder how upset Orochimaru is going to be when he realizes Kabuto’s gone. (I kinda hoped Kabuto would be more difficult, but oh well.) . . . . I’m glad Gaara can still use his sand, I’ve been wondering about that a lot. (Still am, actually, in the manga.) . . . . Oh, so Asuma’s alive in this! =O . . . . You know, the strategy in this fight is actually pretty interesting. . . . Heh. Anko’s all like, “Big deal.” ^^ . . . . Mmmm! Lemme guess: The battle was just a diversion! . . . . O.O Sai’s scary. (*shiver*shiver*) . . . . I like what Yamato did with the spikes. . . . (*snicker*) “That was unnecessary, dobe.” XD Good line. ^^ Actually, you know what? I’m kinda entertained by this battle. Are you sure you suck at battle scenes? . . . . Oooh, good retort, Naruto. ^^ . . . . I love their whole dialogue! XDD . . . . AHAHAHA! The whole “Sasuke-chan” bit! XDD . . . . Yeah, I know how you feel, guys, it’s like “WTF?” right? ^^ . . . . Sai’s not going to be too happy with you, TW. (*sweat*) I like how you did ‘Rochi-kun’s speech-patterns so far, by the way. . . . The guy’s STILL obsessed over Sasuke! He doesn’t quit, does he! . . . . This whole bit about Sasuke and Naruto charging in has me curious. They know it’s a trap. . . . Hah! Knew they were up to something! But honestly, I hadn’t seen that coming (how they got out of it). It’s like how they escaped the fangirls earlier. . . . Huh? How the hell did the barrier go down?? õ_ô . . . . Whoa. O.O . . . . Orochimaru likes the sound of his own voice, doesn’t he? ¬_¬ . . . . Don’t lose it, Sasuke. He wants you to get careless! Õ_Õ; . . . . O.O I . . . wasn’t expecting that. The Mangekyou? I like how suddenly it came, by the way. There was, like, no warning. . . . That was it? Darn, I’d hoped he’d be harder to kill than that. Or at least last several chapters. . . . Cute line: “And Kyu’s got his tails full trying to deal with it.” ^^ . . . . Oh, COME ON, NARUTO! YOU’RE MAKING SASUKE CRY, DAMMIT! YOU’RE NOT MAKING IT ANY EASIER! (Hell, you’re making me cry, and I already know there’s like 30 more chapters of the story left where I’m at, so you can’t die. . . . Just goes to show, TW, how good you’re doing this scene.) . . . . . . . . Goddammit. õ_õ (*worried*)

Heheh, Itachi and Sai are stunned. XD . . . . LOLLLLLL!!! “Weasel-boy?” ROFLMAO!! XDDDDD (*wiping tears of laughter from eyes*) Oh God, I’m going to remember that one, Itachi. ^^
This. Chapter. Was. Freakin’. Awesome. (Period.) . . . . And that’s how I feel about the chapter. ^_^

Chapter 23 24: Why are you surprised about Sai using that language? He says crude stuff all the time, I thought. ô_o . . . . Ooh, coma effects. That should be interesting. (Knew Naruto wasn’t going to die right away.)

Wha- What the? You put chapter 24! It’s 23! õ_ô
3 weeks. Wow. . . . Sasuke’s been using the Mangekyou without risk? That’s weird. Even just having it on without using its actual techniques should be dangerous. õ_ô . . . . Yeah, you guys better feel ashamed. (Idiots.) . . . . Aww, that’s cute, Sasuke reading to Naruto. I wonder what he’s reading.
I like the words Tsunade’s muttering to Naruto. . . . Nice guess, Sasuke. I like the way you worded it. . . . “At least one meal?” That’s still not enough.
I like this scene between Kakashi and Iruka. . . . I like their discussion, but I’m still not used to the nicknames.
Kura? OC? I still think she’d be better off with Lee. ¬_¬ . . . . Oh, it’s Chouji. What the heck is “kura” then? õ_ô (STILL wish it was Lee. >_< Why the heck do you have so many random pairings? I don’t get it.)
I like Sasuke’s anger at the heart monitor; it’s very understandable. . . . That’s sweet how Sasuke’s not insulting him. But I wonder if maybe Naruto would prefer it if Sasuke did. On the other hand, if that’s the case, Sasuke shouldn’t give Naruto that satisfaction because of the way Naruto behaved at the end of the previous chapter. . . . Oh, there he goes! Wow. I wasn’t sure if I expected him to lash out or not. Kinda. . . . But . . . wow. That’s . . . mean. I can understand his anger, but that’s really mean. . . . O.O And he hit him?! Is he insane?! You should never EVER do that to somebody in the hospital for any reason! And if Naruto’s in a fucking coma . . . Jeez! That was downright stupid! Naruto could’ve only gotten worse or died because of that! Õ_Õ
I guess that effect made an interesting story bit, which was cool, but it was rather unrealistic. . . . And now Sasuke’s all calm. ‘Scuse me for saying so, but it’s kinda weird seeing them reacting like the coma was no big thing. It was!

Chapter 25: (I still think you should fix the chapter numbers.) . . . . Hey, Itachi, you sound more like your brother than you. ^^
Love Tsunade’s fierce hug. Totally in character. She knows better than to beat up a patient who just woke up from a coma, so she expresses her worry/relief/outrage/etc in a really fierce hug. Excellent. ^_^ . . . . Same with Sakura. At the same time, I’m glad she’s more confident about not hurting Naruto in any damaging way. It’s cute. ^_^ . . . . I liked the way Sasuke drove the meaning home to Naruto. . . . That’s cute how Naruto backs off a little. . . . I wonder if Sasuke’s crying a little while he’s laughing. Or feels like crying. . . . (*snicker*) “How you feeling, Kyuubi?” “Tired. It’s exhausting bringing you back to life.” XD . . . . And then the, “Zzzzzz.” So cute. ^^ . . . . Oooh, I like the sound of that: “I’m gonna have to find some way to make the last few weeks up to him.” =) . . . . That’s funny, Iruka trying to show his relief quietly. ^^ . . . . Ooh, great observation! Orochimaru being good with barriers! I didn’t notice that! =D . . . . It’s also sweet how Naruto threatens to prank the classroom and Iruka’s still showing his relief. Just shows how worried he really was. . . . I love the way Kakashi stated Sasuke’s actions. It would make sense about Sasuke taking the sedation threat seriously. He remembers all too well what happened last time he was sedated. ^^ . . . . (*still reading Kakashi’s summary*) I get the feeling that Naruto’s going to feel really touched and really guilty when Kakashi finishes. . . . Or not! ô_ô . . . . Love that last sentence. ^^ Now Naruto’s going to have something to dwell on for a bit; he made one hell of an impression back there.
I like the first paragraph of the new scene. Very natural-looking. =) . . . . (*snort*) Naruto’s greeting. At first I thought, “That sounds kinda dumb,” (sorry), but then I translated it into “Sleeping Bastard” and then I got it, and now I think it’s great. ^^ Good one. . . . I can just picture Sasuke saying slightly groggily, “You leanred a new word, usuratonkachi, I’m impressed.” He’s probably not totally awake yet. . . . I also like -- no, wait. I like this whole dialogue so far. I like the sweet lecture Naruto’s giving Sasuke, and Sasuke’s uncomfortable argument. . . . Awww, that’s cute! LOVE the round of applause! (Normally I hate people spying on them, but that was a nice touch this time. ^_^ (One thing, though: “Rookie 9” doesn’t make much sense anymore since (1) they’re not rookies anymore, and (2) there’s only 7 of them over there, since two of the members are Naruto and Sasuke. *sweat*) . . . . Love the last two paragraphs as well. ^_^

I liked this chapter! =D . . . . Lol, Itachi just tackled Sai. ^^ . . . . GET A ROOM, ITACHI! I DON’T WANT TO WATCH! õ_õ . . . . But TW’s last line was great for this scene. ^_^ (Hey, TW, you didn’t answer Sai’s question: Where did you get that shield??)

Chapter 16: “Forgo the usual author note,” yeah right, then what was that you just said? X3 . . . . I’ll try to be kind, but you know me. ô_o

So far I like it. A little slower than before, which is better. . . . Naïve and inexperienced suggestion: Try to go as s~l~o~w as you can with lemons. The longer they last, the better. (I personally like it when things are dragged out during lemons.)
Kyuubi, you’re mean. That’s so not fair. ó_ò (*pause*) Well, no, actually it is kinda fair, since not everybody can heal that fast and avoid awkward situations, but Kyuubi’s reason for it was mean. ó_ò . . . . Heh. But I like Sasuke’s smugness. Boost to his male ego, eh? ^^
I like the shirt slogan, but I’m not sure I get it. (Call me stupidly naïve. T_T) . . . . Sakura, I’ll forgive you if you ask Naruto in innocence, but if you ever laugh or tease him about it, IMA-EATCHOO!! . . . . I guess hearing Sasuke’s excuse was funny. ^^ Although witnessing what he had to go through in earlier chapters puts a bit of a damper on the humor. -_-; . . . . I wonder how Sakura made it into the house without getting attacked. And if she got in, who knows who else might’ve gotten in? And what they might’ve done? ó_ò (*worried*) . . . . (*snicker*) Great bit about the shirts. XDD But I have a hard time picturing Sasuke wearing something like that. (Actually, it’s not hard to picture, but I’m wondering what would make him want to wear it; it just doesn’t seem to be his choice of clothing. õ_ô But it’s worth seeing it anyway. ^^)
I like the bit about Gai being the potential reason Kakashi’s on time. (I hope I don’t hear about any sex from/with/about Gai. x_x) . . . . Interesting training exercise. I was worried from the first sentence because of Lee’s enthusiasm, but he’ll probably be easy with Sakura. I’m really curious about how Sasuke’s and Naruto’s spars will go; those should be interesting. =) . . . . (*giggle*) Kakashi vs. Gai looks interesting. ^^ . . . . Oh, for heaven’s sake, Naruto, you’re a freakin’ ninja! You can take pain and discomfort! Even there! Oy! ¬_¬
LOL, I love how intent the two “serious guys” are fighting. ^^ And I love how Naruto just steps in the middle; like putting your head in the lion’s mouth. XD . . . . Love Neji’s little private thought: “His jealousy is sweet but irritating.” Very true. But with Sasuke . . . he’s not showing jealousy, he’s showing damn near paranoia. ô_o

What I thought about the chapter? Honestly, I thought the sparring was the best part. The lemon’s getting better, but it’s still too fast. (Sorry for the criticism. u_u)

Chapter 17: “Let’s hope Itachi doesn’t read this author’s note.” Good luck with that, he’s very perceptive from what I’ve known. ô_o; . . . . So you’ve just given Sai glasses, but you haven’t given us (the readers) any particular warning. I wonder what it could be. ô_ô

How is rolling your eyes undignified, Neji? õ_ô . . . . “A never under Sasuke’s eye [. . .] left for Suna because. . . ?’” It’s your own fault for being so paranoid, Sasuke. 9_9 . . . . “As a matter of fact, I do, Naruto-kun.” I wonder if Neji has had personal experience with the same problem.
You gave Sai glasses, but you didn’t give me any glasses. Am I gonna need them? õ_õ . . . . (*after reading, “They had their female friends [. . .] chance to witness that up.”*) Dude, that’s gonna attract a lot more fangirls than you’re used to. Some of them are pretty decent and keep their desires to themselves, but you guys do that and you’re gonna break the self-inflicted restraints those poor closet-fangirls have put on themselves. I mean, honestly, who could resist seeing something like that? And furthermore, Naruto and Sasuke are going to attract more than just fangirls. They’re going to attract people who like bizarre or OMG-am-I-honestly-seeing-this? kinds of stuff, as well as people who might be morbidly fascinated, or people who just want to see the reactions of everybody else. Have these guys really thought out how many people they could attract by doing this? ^^;;; Okay, now I’m gonna read the rest of it. ^_^; . . . .(*reading the fight paragraph*) I’m impressed so far, that’d make a great doujin. . . . Oh my god, that’s mean. O_O Come on, don’t make it permanent! Make it last a loooong time, maybe, but not permanent! ó_ò (*whine*)
(*giggle*) Love Naruto’s, “Hmm, I dunno,” monologue. ^^ . . . . Ooh, I like this one. . . . Jeez, that’s gotta be tough, giving oral sex underwater. ô_o . . . . I really liked this one! Much better! =D
Aw, man, those two can’t get a break! (Also, I thought Jiraiya didn’t like guys.) . . . That -- was -- random. O_O (*on Tsunade’s reaction*) . . . . Aww, that’s cute, that ending. But somebody beat the idea out of Jiraiya so he doesn’t do it. Stick to the ladies, Jiraiya. -_-;

What’d I tell you, TW? I knew he’d read it. . . . “I should tie you to Kabuto on principle.” What does that mean? . . . . I liked this chapter! (Except for the “permanent” part, and Jiraiya not being convinced out of it. T_T)

Chapter 18: Lol! “O.O NOW I’m disturbed.” XDD . . . . Hey, just having Jiraiya spy on the boys was a monkey-wrench to me! õ_õ But I love your “snakey” hint. ^_^ By the way, which cliffie were you talking about?

(*on Sasuke walking past the door*) Heh. So even the Brood Master has occasional trouble of spacing out. ^_^ . . . . Again? He must be having a weird day to be spacing out so much.
AAAGGHH, MY EYES! X_X (I’ve never even imagined Shizune snogging!) O_O; Sorry about that, I’m not ready for Shikamaru getting that romantic with anyone. -_-; . . . . Shut it, Ino! (Though I agree with you on this one.) . . . . Ino and . . . Shino? (*starts warily backing away*) More bad news. (*sweat*sweat*sweat*) And that is one strange pairing. I know their names rhyme, but still. õ_ô (an, that was unfair. TW didn’t give us any warnings either! >.<)
No! If I really think about it, they don’t seem to make a good couple! õ_ô I’m still confused! >_< . . . . Whoa, love the sudden change in mood. Nice. =)
“Shot a mild glare at Sasuke?” What, does Gaara not like him? (Makes sense, I guess, though I’m not sure why.) . . . . So Itachi’s still alive. Okay, so Sasuke’s still an avenger. I wonder who in Oto was sacrificed to get rid of the other Akatsuki members. . . . “Attempted and failed.” So what happened? Did that huge statue-thing just sit there like a rock and not respond? And why is Orochimaru suddenly coming to Konoha? I know he’s got a beef with them, but it seemed a little out-of-nowhere. What’s he got up his sleeve this time to motivate him so? . . . . This transference scene would make a great piece of fanart. Also, nice description with the “acid-covered senbon.” . . . . Aww, purrrr! :heart: ^_^
Sad to say, I’m kinda sad the curse mark’s gone. Sasuke was controlling it pretty well, I thought. Hopefully he’s strong enough (and cool enough) to not need it. (I say “cool enough” because the Curse Mark was pretty damn cool in my opinion. Not that Sasuke isn’t cool, he is, I just hope he’s gotten cooler to make up for the lack of the Curse Mark.)
Do foxes purr? And why’s Naruto self-conscious about it? . . . . Heh, love Naruto’s line to Sasuke when Sasuke got into bed. ^^

Oh, that cliffie. Yeah, I was tense all throughout the whole fight. . . . Well, the Naruto-help ing-Tsunade idea was obviously from when Chiyo brought Gaara back to life. I guess the pattern of the Mark could be related to Sai’s stuff. ô_- And I guess the actual drawing the Curse Mark out of Sasuke could’ve been related to the way Sakura drew out the poison from Kankuro. õ_ô . . . . Those are my guesses. I’m probably wrong.

Chapter 19: I dunno, guys, it could be her time (*hint*hint*); chocolate’s great in those cases. (Sorry, TW, had to say it.) . . . . Thanks for the warning (not the WARNING, but the warning). Hopefully I’ll never see lemons with that involve Shikamaru or Shino. >_< .

Hmm, I like Hiashi’s reasoning. . . . Ooh, love the way you said, “Bullseye.” ^_^ . . . . I really like the way Gaara put all that across to Hiashi! =D
Ooh, I like this scene. Love it when Gaara snarls. . . . I like this, you didn’t make Gaara super-needy at all; he still had that element of masculinity about him. . . . They’re getting better! ^_^
Uh-oh. Please don’t tell me Kakashi and Iruka are about to get naughty. ó_ò . . . . Three days, and Konoha’s not sending anybody out? They’re just waiting for the attack? (I know they’re preparing, but something feels off.) õ_õ . . . . Oh, I liked that scene. =D You got some good ones in this chapter.
This is so cool, seeing romance all around! ^_^ :heart:
Oh boy, now who’s Temari shacked up with? (Please be a sane pairing, please be a sane pairing. >_< .) . . . . My prayer went unanswered. WHYYYYYY?! T_T T_T T_T And who’s Sakura gonna hook up with eventually? T_T
Um, okay, I liked the first few scenes, but it’s getting to be a little much, I think. Maybe if the news came out slower about everyone. . .) And why is everyone paired up so strangely?? I mean, I suppose KankuroxTenten makes sense, since they both use tools and gagets, but this is way too much input for my poor brain! T_T T_T
(*snicker*) Love that about the clock in the box. Nice touch. XD . . . . Love the bit about Sasuke’s now-famous “crankiness” when he wakes up. XDDD . . . . “Naruto smiled at the rather adorable picture Sasuke made when he wasn’t quite awake.” I WANNA SEEEEEE!!! . . . . I like Sasuke in this scene.

No, I can’t guess, and I don’t really want to, thank you. But I guess I’ll find out anyway. -_-

Chapter 20: Happy Feet was a cute movie. ^_^ . . . . (*snort*) “You’re petting my cloak. *twitch*twitch*” XDD

My guess is that the Curse Mark had been holding Sasuke’s power in check or something, and now it’s a little erratic. . . . Yep. I’ll bet that Curse Seal had been eating some of his chakra the entire time, so now he has to get familiar with his body again. . . . LOL, Kyuubi laughing at Sasuke. XD . . . . Hey, I was partly right! I liked Kyuubi’s explanation. . . . Love the bit about Sasuke pinching the bridge of his nose. I love that expression. . . . Err, little whoopsie I spotted: “He said about sic hours.” Easy mistake, the “c” is right next to the “x”.
(*lots of giggles*) Naruto’s taunting Sasuke. ^^
HAH! Love how you brought in how Sasuke was true to his word and successful. ^^ . . . . “Just as effective but without the painful consequences.” I disagree, Naruto, you might regret that decision.
Okay, good, it worked out okay. But I gotta say: a kiss versus no sleeping together? That’s, like, a small gain versus a bigger loss. ó_ò
Love the scene where Naruto tells Sasuke about his wind technique. So does this mean that Sasuke has something new up his sleeve?
Awww, I like Hiashi’s requests. :heart: . . . . And I like the subtle way he removed the Curse Seal. . . . But his parting line to Neji seemed a bit awkward to me.

(*after reading Itachi’s requests*) O.O . . . . (*after reading how TW hands the items over*) ?_? You were so shocked so many times before when it wasn’t surprising, yet Itachi says something outrageous like that and you’re like “Meh, whatever.” Is it an effect of your sugar-high?

Chapter 11: Let’s see: You mentioned that Neji would be more “active,” and now you say there’s going to be a lemon. If Neji’s involved with the lemon, I hope he’s on the bottom. >_>

Heh. Love everyone’s stunned reactions when they noticed Neji. ^^ . . . . I like the line Neji said when he gave Hinata’s package to Naruto. =D . . . . Oh, that’s a cool gift! Did she make it?
Gaara’s expression probably changed slowly and subtly as the story went on. Mmmm. ^_^ . . . . Oh boy, here we go. My mold is just cracked when it comes to these guys, but hopefully I’ll like this scene. . . . (*sigh*) Nope, guess he’s not on the bottom this time. u_u . . . . That was fast. A little too fast I think. õ_o
“Don’t spazz?” (*amused*) ô_ô It seems funny picturing the Kyuubi talking like that. . . . I’m not sure that Naruto won’t be pitied. . . . I thought Naruto wasn’t as clueless as he let on. Judging from his intelligence in this fic so far, I would’ve thought he’d be able to figure out why Sasuke’s mad enough to be sedated. õ_õ . . . . Ahahaha, good one, Naruto! XD

Hate to say it, but the lemon could’ve been better. It just went way too fast; didn’t really allow for time to let sensations sink in. . . . (*to Itachi*) What about lemon AND blood? You know, like in S&M? (*to Sai*) Me too, Sai. And I wanna watch when it happens. >:D . . . . “Dealing with children.” And talking about bloodlust. Right. (Actually I’m totally with you on that. Kids scare the hell out of me.) ^_^;

Chapter 12: About your poll . . . no, I think it should stay with the first one. . . . (*after reading the warning*) Ooh, this should be good.

These guys give true meaning to the word “stupid.” . . . . I wonder why this guy (is it Sasuke?) chose to execute those guys that way. . . . (*after reading what happened to the third guy*) O.O . . . . Yeah, that has got to be Sasuke. I wonder how he chose who’d get what punishment. Was the third guy the one that told him the story at the apartment?
I guess it’s not Sasuke. Huh. I wonder who it is. õ_ô
Whoa -- IRUKA?!? O.O That. Is. Cool. =D . . . . Must be a pretty good genjutsu for Kakashi to not notice it.
Oh jeez. Sorry, but seeing Naruto this young scares me. -_-; (Afraid of kids.) . . . . A kunai. Holy. Shit. That’s . . . bad. õ_õ
Kakashi’s line makes it seem like he knows more than Iruka believes.
So Neji doesn’t visit very often?
(*snort*) Good one, Naruto. XDD . . . . I wonder why they kept him sedated that long. Actually I wonder how Sasuke’s going to take it when he hears that he’s been robbed of avenging Naruto. Hopefully he won’t care too much about that.

I’m glad you explained why Naruto was surprised about Sasuke’s constant sedation. I was a little confused about that too.