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schedule
October 4, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Its honestly a cute story but its just so... i dunno.. mary suish.. maybe that's not the right word
but its like Naruto has everything going for him. yeah.. he was almost raped and tortured and the
like but it was so easily fixed. its a bit to ooc. like Kakashi being angry.. he's more introverted
when it comes to emotions and how everyone is so gung ho angry on Naruto's behalf. But yeah
story could use a little work and you may have improved in the later stories but it was just so
sappy i couldn't read it anymore.
but its like Naruto has everything going for him. yeah.. he was almost raped and tortured and the
like but it was so easily fixed. its a bit to ooc. like Kakashi being angry.. he's more introverted
when it comes to emotions and how everyone is so gung ho angry on Naruto's behalf. But yeah
story could use a little work and you may have improved in the later stories but it was just so
sappy i couldn't read it anymore.
schedule
October 2, 2007 at 12:00 AM
LOVE IT
schedule
October 1, 2007 at 12:00 AM
You are crazy, did you know that? I bet you do. Well, great chapter as always. I'm not sure why I'm actually reading a story like this. I don't usually so why now? Hmm, there's something in this story that I can't put my finger on. Anyway, love that chars and plot seems kinda good.
Update soon please.
Update soon please.
schedule
September 30, 2007 at 12:00 AM
I don't know much but I know what I like and I love this story!! Please keep it up till the end!
schedule
September 30, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Damn it Obito! >.< Why'd you interrupt Sasuke and Naruto's kissing session!!
-Damp *Damn you Obito!!*
-Damp *Damn you Obito!!*
schedule
September 30, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Gawd girl...thought you forgot all 'bout us. Major prob, tho, babes...too darn short!
Update soon...pretty please?
Missing my fluffy NaruSasuNaru naughties,
>X<
Update soon...pretty please?
Missing my fluffy NaruSasuNaru naughties,
>X<
schedule
September 29, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Yay! I love updates ^^ sorry I haven't reviewed in awhile, I've been kinda tied up.I still love this, your doing well, wow, chapter 46, I can't believe you've gotten this far, feels like yesterday this was chapter one. Keep it up! ^^ Oh, and I think it saposed to be Kana-chan, not kun, but I could be wrong, I've never studied japanese.
schedule
September 24, 2007 at 12:00 AM
GIVE ME THE NEXT CHAPTER NOW GRAAHHHHHH also could you add me to the list o ppl you send notices to when you update if you have such a list, and seeing how good the story is i have no doubt of the existance of such a list, so add me to it AND HURRY UP I HAVE ABOUT AS MUCH PATIENCE AS ITACHI BUT YOU CANT THREATEN ME W/ SAI OR PLOT DUST BUNNIES!!!!
schedule
September 12, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Hehe! Thanks. It's okay! Me and Crimson2006 need to start on the rest of ch. 2..we have like half of it typed up, and we've been sending it back and forth through email. I'll let her know that we need to get to work.
*whip*
*whip*
schedule
September 5, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Hi.
I read your story from beginning to end - at least up until where you left it off - and I realized that this story's plot has potential to being a great story. However, you should beta-ed it 'cause you have an enormous number of spelling and grammar mistakes. If you don't know enough english, that does not give you the excuse to put up some story that is not that quite readable. I know most people don't bother with a spellcheck, but you should.
Other than that... your story seems like its a bit rushed and lacks perspective.
I read your story from beginning to end - at least up until where you left it off - and I realized that this story's plot has potential to being a great story. However, you should beta-ed it 'cause you have an enormous number of spelling and grammar mistakes. If you don't know enough english, that does not give you the excuse to put up some story that is not that quite readable. I know most people don't bother with a spellcheck, but you should.
Other than that... your story seems like its a bit rushed and lacks perspective.