AFF Fiction Portal

rate_review Reviews

for Why Orange?

by NinjaToadsAteMyBaby

person kimiko-chan
schedule March 15, 2007 at 12:00 AM
NOOOO Naruto!!!!!!!!!! ;_; T~T ;_; Naruto cant be dead o_o ;_;
schedule March 15, 2007 at 12:00 AM
OMFG!!!!! THAT CLIFF HANGER SUCKS ASS!!!! FLAMMAGE.... but i love the story... cant wait for the next chapter....
person Vikuta
schedule March 15, 2007 at 12:00 AM
i'm crying. can u believe it? i know that u would not kill Naruto, but still.... (don't you dare to kill Naruto, Sasuke gonna kick you're ass if you do so...)
person Mino
schedule March 15, 2007 at 12:00 AM
*chokes*
omg don't die Naruto ;-;
>>;
anywhom, I liked the fight scene,
I thought it went well *nodds*
person AoiKitsune
schedule March 15, 2007 at 12:00 AM
OMG!! i thought u killed Naruto there for a min.
awww dats so cute Sasuke really really loves Naruto!!
well, love n u no it so plz update soon. Best of Luck.
AoiKitsune =^-^=

person seraphym
schedule March 15, 2007 at 12:00 AM
I'm so glad Naruto woke up! Sasuke would probably do seriously crazy if he didn't. I hope there's a happy ending coming soon!
person Hello
schedule March 15, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Yay, Naruto's awake, just by Sasuke insulting him would wake him up.. Heh, Tsunade will freak out... right? As in the good freak out way.
person nette
schedule March 15, 2007 at 12:00 AM
ok 1st of all whoooooo naruto-kun's not dead *does happy dance* ok im happy now. i liked how the only way to get naruto to wake up was by sasuke threatening him lol. wat motivation. Xd cant wait for the next chapter. no seriously i CANT WAIT so update soon...lik now perhaps...no ok then XD
person mee
schedule March 15, 2007 at 12:00 AM
iiiii how sweet...and the ending...i can't wait 'till next update :D
person Lici (lazy login brat...I have an account, I'm just too lazy to travel through all that red tape)
schedule March 15, 2007 at 12:00 AM
I LOVE YOU!

Yes, I must say, your fight scenes need to get a lot better. Maybe you should look up another fic or even google it on the net. When writing a fighting scene, find a focal point and tell it from that view....Tsunade, Jiraiya, Kakashi, me^_^....Pick a certain character and then use that one person to visually describe what's going on. Don't be in their mind or anything, but make it seem as if they are watching as well as participating the in the battle. Just little flashes and emotions of extremes are wonderful to make the fights more thrilling and demanding of attention. If you want a demonstration with this particular fight scene, I'll come back when I can and have one ready for you so you can see an example.



STILL...

You are my ruler. I kneel as I cry tears of joy!