schedule
January 30, 2008 at 12:00 AM
(I review as I read.)
Chapter 1: Hee hee. XD That beginning was hilarious. . . . Poor guy. What the hell happened to get him so sunburned? . . . Oh, that’s what happened. . . . He’s hiding behind his bangs. I like that. I do that too sometimes. (Well, I don’t have bangs, but I let my hair hang in front of my face.) . . . XDDD I loved Sasuke’s three reasons for not wearing makeup. Especially that last one. XDDD . . . Nice last line of the segment.
Buzzing hormones. ^^ . . . The writing in this is really good. . . . Mm, “passing faze,” you mean “phase.” . . . (*snort*) Oh jeez, a staring match. XD – HEY! Sakura, you just made him lose! (*gack*) And she’s getting all sappy too. XP . . . Haha! Kakashi just cut himself off! XD
Oh god! Poor Sasuke! That’s gotta feel horrible! :( . . . Wise advice, Kakashi. Sasuke, you’d do best to heed it. . . . Do it! Do it! Do it! The offer’s wide open! *_* . . . Waitaminute, why would Naruto have remedies at home? Wouldn’t the Kyuubi keep him from getting sick? . . . “Fun together?” Hmmm. . . . .
Hahah! “Sasuke suddenly wished that he’d had a colder shower.” XDDDD
Yeah, makes me think of other things too. ^^' . . . Naruto came in?! . . . I likes the massage. . . . “Just as hot as before the shower?” Here comes the flushing. . . . I dunno, does he know? -- Now why is he stuttering? . . . Wha? What kind of question. . . ? NEXT CHAPTER!! XDDD
No, the characters really aren’t OOC! Although Sakura was a little too cutesier than usual, I think. But so far, everything else seems fine.
Chapter 1: Hee hee. XD That beginning was hilarious. . . . Poor guy. What the hell happened to get him so sunburned? . . . Oh, that’s what happened. . . . He’s hiding behind his bangs. I like that. I do that too sometimes. (Well, I don’t have bangs, but I let my hair hang in front of my face.) . . . XDDD I loved Sasuke’s three reasons for not wearing makeup. Especially that last one. XDDD . . . Nice last line of the segment.
Buzzing hormones. ^^ . . . The writing in this is really good. . . . Mm, “passing faze,” you mean “phase.” . . . (*snort*) Oh jeez, a staring match. XD – HEY! Sakura, you just made him lose! (*gack*) And she’s getting all sappy too. XP . . . Haha! Kakashi just cut himself off! XD
Oh god! Poor Sasuke! That’s gotta feel horrible! :( . . . Wise advice, Kakashi. Sasuke, you’d do best to heed it. . . . Do it! Do it! Do it! The offer’s wide open! *_* . . . Waitaminute, why would Naruto have remedies at home? Wouldn’t the Kyuubi keep him from getting sick? . . . “Fun together?” Hmmm. . . . .
Hahah! “Sasuke suddenly wished that he’d had a colder shower.” XDDDD
Yeah, makes me think of other things too. ^^' . . . Naruto came in?! . . . I likes the massage. . . . “Just as hot as before the shower?” Here comes the flushing. . . . I dunno, does he know? -- Now why is he stuttering? . . . Wha? What kind of question. . . ? NEXT CHAPTER!! XDDD
No, the characters really aren’t OOC! Although Sakura was a little too cutesier than usual, I think. But so far, everything else seems fine.
schedule
January 30, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Chapter 2: To the AN: “Without further adeu,” XD It’s “ado.” XD
Oh, those cheeks. ^^' You really had me there. Was that on purpose? . . . I like Sasuke’s in-shock attitude. . . . Hahaha! “Any more torture and he was sure that his groin would explode.” XD I’ve never heard that one! . . . Yeah, I’m getting shivers too. What is Naruto planning?? . . . “Hesitancy mixed with confidence?” Curious. . . . Yes, more. @_@ . . . Whoa. That metaphor: “Why only give a [. . .]” Wow. O_O I likes. . . . Mm, I think “dobe” was kind of unnecessary (maybe I’ve just heard it way too much with all the fanfiction I’ve been reading XP). . . . Heh, I liked that bit when Naruto squeezed Sasuke’s sunburn. I love it when there’s a mood and then something happens to make one of them go “Watch it!” ^^ . . . Heheh, I absolutely LOVE the way Naruto said, “Um . . . kinda. I . . . couldn’t help myself.” XDD . . . Very erotic talk; just the simple “You’re hard.” (*purrrrr*) . . . Man, this is really good. . . . Haha, I should’ve seen that coming. “No they’re not . . . argh.” XD . . . ALRIGHT! “You damn tease, Naruto.” I like how you just used the word “damn” instead of “f***ing.” I can hear him saying this totally. And the context was perfect. . . . All this flipping over is fun. . . . Nice use of the phrase “sunlit perfection.” It’s in great context, so it doesn’t seem cheesy. . . . “Combats?” Perfect! I didn’t know what those were, so I just looked ‘em up. Those are what he wears! Thanks! They’re not just “shorts,” their “combats!” ^_^ . . . Huh? How does Naruto grind himself into Sasuke’s knee if Sasuke’s straddling him?? . . . Oh wow, that was original. Sasuke just had his peak without even realizing it while he was concentrating on something else. Clever. . . . That was funny about the “dobe” joke. But I still hear way too much of the word. XP . . . Wow. “A few minutes later,” That fits well. It’s not cheesy. . . . Sasuke’s confusion is back. And it mixes well. I also like Sasuke’s thoughts on the whole thing and that final question “Was this . . . love?” I like how Sasuke really takes into consideration if Naruto deserves someone like him, instead of just thinking “no.” . . . And there’s the question again. . . . Enough with the “dobe!” Rrgh! . . . I like it when Sasuke points out the opposite effect of Naruto’s “treatment.” And FINALLY! he uses “usuratonkachi” for once. Thank you.
Oh, clever! One gets cured, the other gets sick; one had sunburn, the other gets a cold. Nice. It’s a little symbolic to their personalities: Sasuke was burning for hotheaded Naruto, and now Naruto’s out with the boy with the cold personality. I like! ^_^ . . . Alright, now Sasuke’s the doctor! ^_^
Oh, those cheeks. ^^' You really had me there. Was that on purpose? . . . I like Sasuke’s in-shock attitude. . . . Hahaha! “Any more torture and he was sure that his groin would explode.” XD I’ve never heard that one! . . . Yeah, I’m getting shivers too. What is Naruto planning?? . . . “Hesitancy mixed with confidence?” Curious. . . . Yes, more. @_@ . . . Whoa. That metaphor: “Why only give a [. . .]” Wow. O_O I likes. . . . Mm, I think “dobe” was kind of unnecessary (maybe I’ve just heard it way too much with all the fanfiction I’ve been reading XP). . . . Heh, I liked that bit when Naruto squeezed Sasuke’s sunburn. I love it when there’s a mood and then something happens to make one of them go “Watch it!” ^^ . . . Heheh, I absolutely LOVE the way Naruto said, “Um . . . kinda. I . . . couldn’t help myself.” XDD . . . Very erotic talk; just the simple “You’re hard.” (*purrrrr*) . . . Man, this is really good. . . . Haha, I should’ve seen that coming. “No they’re not . . . argh.” XD . . . ALRIGHT! “You damn tease, Naruto.” I like how you just used the word “damn” instead of “f***ing.” I can hear him saying this totally. And the context was perfect. . . . All this flipping over is fun. . . . Nice use of the phrase “sunlit perfection.” It’s in great context, so it doesn’t seem cheesy. . . . “Combats?” Perfect! I didn’t know what those were, so I just looked ‘em up. Those are what he wears! Thanks! They’re not just “shorts,” their “combats!” ^_^ . . . Huh? How does Naruto grind himself into Sasuke’s knee if Sasuke’s straddling him?? . . . Oh wow, that was original. Sasuke just had his peak without even realizing it while he was concentrating on something else. Clever. . . . That was funny about the “dobe” joke. But I still hear way too much of the word. XP . . . Wow. “A few minutes later,” That fits well. It’s not cheesy. . . . Sasuke’s confusion is back. And it mixes well. I also like Sasuke’s thoughts on the whole thing and that final question “Was this . . . love?” I like how Sasuke really takes into consideration if Naruto deserves someone like him, instead of just thinking “no.” . . . And there’s the question again. . . . Enough with the “dobe!” Rrgh! . . . I like it when Sasuke points out the opposite effect of Naruto’s “treatment.” And FINALLY! he uses “usuratonkachi” for once. Thank you.
Oh, clever! One gets cured, the other gets sick; one had sunburn, the other gets a cold. Nice. It’s a little symbolic to their personalities: Sasuke was burning for hotheaded Naruto, and now Naruto’s out with the boy with the cold personality. I like! ^_^ . . . Alright, now Sasuke’s the doctor! ^_^
schedule
January 30, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Overall: YEAH!! This story was AWESOME! How come it’s your only one?! You’ve got talent! You should use it! This is going on my list with 5 stars out of 5 stars! ^_^
schedule
June 2, 2007 at 12:00 AM
I LOVED it!!!! XD
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March 2, 2007 at 12:00 AM
awwwwwwww!
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March 2, 2007 at 12:00 AM
OMFG!!! I LOVED IT THAT WAS THE CUTEST NARUTO/SASUKE STORY I HAVE READ IN A LONG TIME..... (I'M NOT JUST SHOUTING FOR JOY ALSO MY CAPS BUTTON IS JAMMED...)
schedule
March 1, 2007 at 12:00 AM
fabulous!! and a pretty good ending too.
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March 1, 2007 at 12:00 AM
YaY! It was awesome! I like how Naruto managed to argue that being a dobe didn't count when it came to sex. LoL
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February 28, 2007 at 12:00 AM
So cute! And quite sexy. Poor Sasuke. He is so much fun to torture, isn't he? I look forward to part 2!
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February 28, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Wheeee! They can be so cute together. And there's something about cute boys having orgasms while they're still half-dressed that's just... *yum*
Good stuff!
Good stuff!