schedule
March 20, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Ahh really good stuff!
im glad to see you put something up here way to go and congrats!
Only thing is you need to put more breaks between your paragraphs. The whole story looks like one giant paragraph, i dont know very much more of this and i might start to like naru/hina
im glad to see you put something up here way to go and congrats!
Only thing is you need to put more breaks between your paragraphs. The whole story looks like one giant paragraph, i dont know very much more of this and i might start to like naru/hina
schedule
March 20, 2007 at 12:00 AM
nice, hope you continue it. we need more good naru/hina stories.
schedule
March 20, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Nice chapter I hope you keep writing. Make it a bit more interesting and tell us more about how they got together.
schedule
March 20, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Interesting, and pretty good for a first time writer. More sex please, and with Kage bunshins.