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October 7, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Dear 'Jelp',
This fic was rec'd this morning in a comm at Livejournal. I was highly dissappointed in the person that recommended the fic and subsequently, the writer- that's you. This was what I had to say over at LJ:
"Thanks for the rec but DEAR GOD, NO THANK YOU.
I'm sorry, but this is a TERRIBLE fic. Horrible concept and horribly executed.
It's wrong on SO many levels. Where should I begin? Lets start at the top with the literary elements. Their speech is one-dimensional, the author writes in a disgustingly passive voice and it is overly formal and thus unrealistic- their only saving grace from such stiff writing is if english was not their first language. I hope to god, that this is the case.
I'm going to gloss over the idyllic situation she has presented us with and nevermind the characters' blatant OCness. Oh and plz, lets just forget the cliched sex scene!
Lets just skip to the part where Sakura, also disgustingly passive, just lets a rape happen and then continues to talk cordially with the criminal. What kind of assbackwards friend is she? This offends my FEMINIST SENSIBILITES to no end. Honestly, that is my beef with this fic. I don't even like Sakura but her behavior is really just OVER THE TOP. What kind of message is this fic sending? About Sakura? About asian women? About women in general???
There is NO excuse for this. NO EXCUSE.
Sorry, but I HIGHLY DOUBT that this story will get better with the passing chapters. Ever. Not even if it was re-written by, like, an actual writer.
This was a horrible rec. Don't do it again. I'm very glad you didn't write it, and don't worry, you are not the only one that is going to get chewed out about this. I'm going to cut and paste this argument in its entirety over at "Jelp's" site too.
Dear God, I have half a mind to spork this fic."
I am appalled at this fic- at the quality of the writing and the concept. It's not b/c of the rape- Lord, no. I write rape fics and dubcons like it's nobodies business-it's just that this fic was so unrealistic, I nearly vomitted on my keyboard. I don't know what you were thinking when you wrote this.
This fic was rec'd this morning in a comm at Livejournal. I was highly dissappointed in the person that recommended the fic and subsequently, the writer- that's you. This was what I had to say over at LJ:
"Thanks for the rec but DEAR GOD, NO THANK YOU.
I'm sorry, but this is a TERRIBLE fic. Horrible concept and horribly executed.
It's wrong on SO many levels. Where should I begin? Lets start at the top with the literary elements. Their speech is one-dimensional, the author writes in a disgustingly passive voice and it is overly formal and thus unrealistic- their only saving grace from such stiff writing is if english was not their first language. I hope to god, that this is the case.
I'm going to gloss over the idyllic situation she has presented us with and nevermind the characters' blatant OCness. Oh and plz, lets just forget the cliched sex scene!
Lets just skip to the part where Sakura, also disgustingly passive, just lets a rape happen and then continues to talk cordially with the criminal. What kind of assbackwards friend is she? This offends my FEMINIST SENSIBILITES to no end. Honestly, that is my beef with this fic. I don't even like Sakura but her behavior is really just OVER THE TOP. What kind of message is this fic sending? About Sakura? About asian women? About women in general???
There is NO excuse for this. NO EXCUSE.
Sorry, but I HIGHLY DOUBT that this story will get better with the passing chapters. Ever. Not even if it was re-written by, like, an actual writer.
This was a horrible rec. Don't do it again. I'm very glad you didn't write it, and don't worry, you are not the only one that is going to get chewed out about this. I'm going to cut and paste this argument in its entirety over at "Jelp's" site too.
Dear God, I have half a mind to spork this fic."
I am appalled at this fic- at the quality of the writing and the concept. It's not b/c of the rape- Lord, no. I write rape fics and dubcons like it's nobodies business-it's just that this fic was so unrealistic, I nearly vomitted on my keyboard. I don't know what you were thinking when you wrote this.
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October 7, 2007 at 12:00 AM
oh my gosh. i've never read any fanfic with sasuke and sakura actually fighting over naruto. and the storyline is great. honestly, good job. i'm totally going to wait for the next chapter to come out!
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October 7, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Oooh, I didn't know there was a second chapter to this story. Niice. You know, even as a SasuNaru fan, I'm not sure how I feel about how this will turn out. I have a soft spot for SakuNaru, especially when Sakura's acting in a "positive" manner, and that means when she seems to really genuinely care about Naruto. Besides, her going against Sasuke for Naruto rather than her being in the center is always more interesting to me, hahaha. This is where a threesome might be an okay choice...maybe. Sakura and Sasuke might try to kill each other while they make Naruto moan with delight. XDD
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October 7, 2007 at 12:00 AM
I love you!
The smut was WAY better than what you sent me..
tehe..!
The smut was WAY better than what you sent me..
tehe..!
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October 7, 2007 at 12:00 AM
The above reviewer, thatwassarcasm, is so incredibly wrong (I'm so angry at her/him, I could start calling names). If you give up writing this story because of that negative review, I and a lot of other readers be VERY disappointed. I really like where this fic is going. The characters do not seem ooc to me. Please update this story!! I really, really look forward to the next chapter!
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October 7, 2007 at 12:00 AM
You're one of my favorite authors. I absolutely adore all your stories, and I'm so glad to see you're continuing this one. Please update soon!
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October 6, 2007 at 12:00 AM
you must post chapter 3 up no matter what! >.< it's such a brilliant story! i stress on the 'must'. pweety pwease? i'll give you lotsa cookies... or anything that you like! ^^
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October 6, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Loved the new chapter!! Sakura sure got Sasuke back, didn't she? XD But I'm rooting for Sasuke to get his love! :)
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October 6, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Wow I love tis story the conspiracy and the underlying tones of Naruto loving sasuke in return i just don't know what is coming next PLEAAASSE xcontinue!
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October 6, 2007 at 12:00 AM
OMG!! LOL, this is so psychotically sad and fantastic!! YOu rock my world all the time XD. Sometimes I wonder if you really even have to try?? I don't know what I want from this story. I mean I'm NaruSasuNaru all the way baby!! But what Sasuke is doing id just wrong!! I mean they should be together but he should have told/asked him, then they would have had a fighting chance. As things stand now it's going to hurt so much!! I can only hope it's one of those oh so good hurts. Knowing you I'm going to be craving for this as well. Keep up the great work love this is just... wow XD.