rate_review Reviews

I know it’s been a while since my last review, but it looks like you’ve been stirring up the D/s pot these past few chapters, beginning with Naruto and Sasuke. Now Naruto understands how hurt and insecure Sasuke was to witness someone else have their way with “his property”. Then there was Gaara’s insecurity that Shikamaru was going to leave him. But Iruka and Kakashi’s upheaval did make me hold my breathe a bit. I’m glad you showed that even a long-term relationship like Iruka’s and Kakashi’s, one that Naruto (and Sasuke, thought he’s still working through his feelings) aspires to have still have its problems and should not be taken for granted. In fact, I liked how you showed the insecurities each dom has in their “real life” in comparison to their role as a dom. But Iruka’s breakdown and Kakashi's stepping up to be the strong one really brought it home. We all can’t strong all the time 24/7 and not need that special person in times of weakness. I liked how this made Kakashi let go of his past guilt of physical aggression in order to take charge and save his present relationship into the future. I also liked how they viewed the other as the one who had the real power and control in the relationship. It became a moment of truth for them to seriously re-evaluate what they mean to each other and move to a deeper level of commitment.

But Ibiki and Raidou made me giggle a lot, the way Ibiki transformed his skills of interrogation into love moves of seduction. Although Raidou’s background story was quite sad, it made it that much more special that it was hard-as-nails Ibiki who had the insightful compassion to recognize scars of torture and a potential companion.

Well, now that Naruto and Sasuke has been banded from Uchiha’s does that mean no “big night”? And what of Sasuke’s amnesia of certain events and what it will mean to Naruto and Itachi? Keep writing ‘cuz you still have quite a few intriguing loose threads!

Cookie ~

I don't think you suck at plots. I'll have to admit that you are rather well versed in the art of lemon writing, but your plots are just as good. It's like your lemons are important to the plot *nods*. Personally i thought the incest was hot! Although it would have been hotter if it wasn't so heavily drenched in angst. I think your charater developement is also key to the plot. You are a wonderful writer. I am not worthy!!!!!!!!!

HI,
WOW!!! This story is just WOW.
PWP with plot (lol) and romance and characters (!) and beautifull writing and you explain the charas behaviour so well (Sometimes I just wouldn't have understood why or how, especially when it got 'really kinky'. [May I say that?])
And its very interesting to see how you transcribed (I hope that word works here) the Naruto charas in your AU. You had to change, gave them a similar yet different background and still kept their essence. Ususally I don't like AU's because most can't do that: change the charas 'totally' to fit in their AU world and still keep their essence. They mostly take the charas and put them in a different NOW or take their names and looks and give them stereotype character A or B.

PLEASE PLEASE continue!!!! And often!!!!!!!!!!! (Yea I'm greedy!) I love this story. I just found it yesterday and finished it just now.

This...fic... is... amazing!

Seriously, I tend to nitpick fanfics alot... a...lot... X.x; And most Naruto fanfics I find are a bit... well... either dull or cheesy or too angsty... But I love this fic! I've spent all my free time for the last few days doing nothing but reading it all! I'm sad, I know! XD! I hope you continue this soon! I can't wait to see what happens next! <3<3<3

Love it love you more plzzzzzzzzzz

Okay I was so moved by the last couple of chapters that I felt like giving you full criticism on them like a reviewer is actually supposed to do. Now feel honoured as I rarely maybe once took the time to point out inconsistencies to an author. (too much effort on my part to do so). Note there are god and negative comments PLEASE dontfeel offended in any way.

Ibiki and Raidou Chapters
We will start with the Ibiki /Raidou pairing. For the enjoyment of the story alone that was very… well enjoyable. I found it as hot as any other sex scene. However you rushed it. You went through the trouble of mentioning how Raidou was hurt so badly (and stuff like that can leave deep mental scars trust me) and from what I imagined that was Really bad. To the part of Genma saving him or being there when he needed him. You even went so far as to say that He hadn’t had sex in a long time and didn’t feel comfortable in sexual situations. However a few sexual comments from Ibiki and he’s willing to sub within hours? Subbing takes a lot of confidence as you well know. Someone who was hurt like that shouldn’t have the confidence to do it so easily especially if he’s been repressing sexual urges for that long. It would take coaxing and lots of seduction as well as a high level of trust no? It seemed forced/rushed and though I enjoyed it I couldn’t really appreciate their coupling. Honestly take you time. I promise we ALL love it. So don’t feel that you have to go through it quickly. It’s like a soap opera, there are many stories and as such it won’t hurt to give each their own attention. Now you could have had Ibiki entrance him and slowly he gives in but this is just my opinion.

Shino and Kankuro
Honestly I don’t feel any association to them at all. It’s like they don’t even fit together. I skipped over their part as it didn’t interested me and it takes only some good shit to actually get me to read. I can’t really say anything about them although I liked the part where kankuro and kiba saw two different things about shino. They have so much potential. You could take a little while to develop them if you wanted but you don’t have to.


Gaara and Shikamaru
Oh God where do I even start. Okay First of Gaara is my second favourite Naruto character, after Naruto because from the moment I heard his story I felt so sorry. All he wanted was to be loved and well no one should go without love. Now I think you did a GREAT job with Gaara and Shika. If I were shika at that moment I think I would have been crying. He knew immediately that what he did was wrong. I bet that anxiety was just eating him alive on his way home.

After reading Gaara’s attack on him I expected him {shika} to be upset but Gaara’s words… god I nearly cried. Really well done there. I particularly liked how you mentioned shika’s erection wilting. His sorrow must have been so great.

A blushing Gaara is just too much for words. I just thought awww kawaii. Plus Gaara saying “baby” was incredibly hot. It’s such a common term but when the right person says it it’s just perfect

Little note about the rings, I kept imagining Shika falling and pulling something prized urggh thinking about it makes me cringe

Now for those two most fantastic chapters with Iruka and Kakashi

As I mentioned before, I really didn’t like iruka as a dom. It just freaking pissed me off. I thought he would look so much cuter as a sub instead and well I don’t really read iruka chapters as he seriously pissed me off ( as ive mentioned, there’s no reason why. he just did) anyway so I was about to skip through the chapter hoping that the next one would have Naruto and Sasuke but then something caught my eyes and I went back to reading it. I read the entire thing and wow. Iruka sounded like just a little bitch. Though I could sympathise with him there. I think you did a good job with describing his feelings. I felt his anguish as he thought that Kakashi no longer wanted him, wanted osomeone better however kakashis’s part could have had a little more. You left the reader in no doubt as to just how much iruka was in pain but I didn’t get that so much from Kakashi. He seemed kinda cold as he just suddenly dropped his years of subbing and manhandled iruka into the car/vehicle. I mean he spent ten years as a sub. The mind is weird it gets conditioned to do certain things automatically like when iruka was doing that nipple thing id have thought in his mind he would get that urge even if he didn’t say to be “thank you master…” and when iruka said “ oh yes fuck me” maybe he would have felt that sub instinct kicking in cause he was essentially pleasuring his master or at least that is what his conditioned mind should have thought anyway. Even though he is a judo master, around iruka he would have been conditioned.

But those are tiny things not really noticeable really. I was completely right though. Kakashi in charge was just HOT I loved it. It was like he didn’t spend ten years being a sub. He was so masterful, daring to pinch iruka’s nipple without a qualm and iruka the little slut moaning just hot. Keep It that way!!

Lol well that is my commentary. Don’t be upset about anything I mentioned. I just figured what the heck it moved me enough to write so just tell you the things I noticed. I’ll probably notice more things but ill spare you

I also have a tiny request: ONEGAI!! Can you please pretty please do a scene with akamaru and kiba with some description of what akamaru looks like? I’m just dying to see that and every time I see kiba’s name I get all hopeful but nothing. So please!! Consider it!!

Vague
A big fan
http://yaoi-ai.com

First off the story is awesome!! Great job and keep it up! I have been checking daily for your updates!! ^^ Sencond there is nothing wrong with you thinking people will want to reread it.. cause believe me I have lol.. It really it really is good stuff! I read some of your other stories as well. But this is still my favorite out of all the ones (yours or others) that I have read.

As I said Keep it Up!!
and Thanks for the great stuff!
NJ

I adore Chapter 53! You are a goddess! ::sighs dreamily thinking of Gaara/Shika::

you sure update fast. But when are you gonna get back to sasuke and naruto. I wanna read more about them

WOW. Shika is an ass slut LOL! LIke the 10th paragraph in ch. 51 there is an inner monolog going on in Iruka's head. You might want to seperate the inner thinkings of Iruka and the actual scenary. I was kind of confused. maybe it was just me. I LOVE Iruka/kakashi pairing. WOW! How they just now realized they love each other as Iruka and Kakashi not Dom and sub. It looked like Iruka had a lot of insecurites. It seems like a majority of the Dom's have insecurites. Gaara, Neji, Iruka, Shino even Itachi to a point. I guess with those types, the subs have to be really strong and secure in themselves to pour that love and security for their doms.