rate_review Reviews

OK YOU WANT GOOD REVIEW.....
I WANT SAKURA AND ALL OF TEAM 7 IT'S JUST HARD TO CHOOSE BUT IF I THERE WAS A PICK THEN KAKASHI OR SASUKE.
YOU DO HAVE ALOT OF THE CHARACTERS PERSONALITY IN THIS STORY WITH NARUTO AND HIS OVERPROTECTNESS SASUKE NOT SHOWING HIS FEELINGS AND SAI IN HIS OWN LITTLE WORLD. OTHER THAN THAT I DID GET KIND SLEEPY READING BUT MAYBE THAT HAS TO DO WITH ME READING THE STORY @ 2A.M. I HOPE YOU GET ALL THE REVIEWS YOU WANT BECUASE YOU ARE A GOOD WRITER. ( HOW'S THAT FOR A REVIEW PLEASE JUST UPDATE A.S.A.P)

----One thiing you thought was good

I thought the grammar and flow in this chapter was much better. I don't think the characters are OOC, but they're borderline... but this chapter did better than the others.

_____One thing you thought was bad
The almost OOCness, but not quite. It's there, but it's not... so I don't know what to say. I think you are doing much better than most, but I can be anal retentive sometimes...

Oh, and requiring reviews before posting more chapters? If there were more het fics here, I probably wouldn't read the story after reading the review/page requirements. BS in my opinion. But there's not more het fics, and I'm deprived... and you really shouldn't think so little of your readers. I felt insulted after reading that. Perhaps I'll feel differently later, but I don't appreciate it right now. Kinda soured me when I reached the end.

_____What you thought of the chapter

Best chapter so far.

_____Who you want together
I don't particularly enjoy this pairing normally, but I would have to say Sasuke. You set it up to go in that direction, and I believe it is what would work with the story best. Kakashi would screw up the team dynamics since you have an "everyone loves Saku" fic. Naruto's clingly seems to drive away Saku as is. No explanation is needed for Sai... the story is completely not set up for him. So I'm going to stick with Sasuke.

Dude this storys awsome ;)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Well now this is a bad Situation for sakura-chan
1. Sasuke/Sakura all the way baby!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2. This chapter had a very bad Omens kind of vibe to it
3. IM NOT SURE WHAT WAS BAD ILL HAVE TO GET BACK TO U ON THAT ONE!
4. Its always awsome to see the Naruto group rally around sakura!
Keep it coming and PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE
SASUKE AND SAKUA

Dude this storys awsome ;)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Well now this is a bad Situation for sakura-chan
1. Sasuke/Sakura all the way baby!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2. This chapter had a very bad Omens kind o vibe to it but im not sure if you were going for that.
3. NOT SURE WHAT WAS BAD HAVE TO GET BCK TO YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!
4. ITS AWSOME TO SEE THE SAKURA'S BOY'S STAND UP FOR HER!!!!!!11
SO KEEP IT COMING OH AND SASUKE AND SAKURA SASUKE AND SAKURA SASUKE AND SAKURA SASUKE AND SAKURA SASUKE AND SAKURA SASUKE AND SAKURA PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSSEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Okay, I almost didn't review because of the part at the end of chapter 6. I must say that holding your story up for review-ransom isn't a very appealing tactic to get reviews (you might be actually scaring away potential reviewers by saying that). I know that often as a writer we can feel down because we don't think we received enough reviews, or that our hit count is low, etc. As quickly as you update, you should realize that sometimes that will affect how many you get (not giving people more than a day or two will make the # of reviews you get per chapter go down). I read this story when it was only a chapter long, and I'm just now getting around to reading more. Give people time, they'll get there eventually.

Here's my review on how the story has progressed:
I agree that looking for a beta would be helpful. There were quite a few obvious mistakes within the last few chapters, and the story felt a little rushed. The last chapter's plot was a little out there. I'm not a particular fan of the whole Sakura going after the rapists thing, because I liked the story when you had a more light, fluffy direction. If the boys could figure a way to get her out of it, that would be great. I'm not usually a fan of this pairing, but I think that Sasuke and Sakura fit the best in your story, and it would be really cute. I know that my review was rather harsh, but I see a lot of good potential within this, and I don't want to see the story self-destruct (it happens to the best of stories, sometimes they go completely wonky if someone doesn't cut the author off at the beginning of said wonkiness). The best advice I have for you is to take it slower and develop the story more between the characters. Your strength is with your character interaction, so use it.

Please don't just get pissed at this review, I read A LOT of fanfiction and do A LOT of writing, so I'm not necessarily just a casual reader. My strongest advice, slow down, think out your chapters more, outline your story, and know where it is going. It is better to have your plot figured out than letting your reviewers decide it for you. I'd beta for if I had more time (but I have none, all of my projects are on hold because of this), maybe after my next convention I'll offer you my services. I'm lucky enough to have a sister tell me when I've gotten way off course in my stories (not that you are way off course, you aren't), so I want to let you know that you really, really need to slow down, take your chapters and go through them several times. Write them and walk away for a week, reread them to see if they still make as much sense as when you wrote them. I'd gladly wait a week for an update if it means the story would be more polished.

Now I intially thought that this story was going to be a fuck fest but you changed the direction into that of a plot based story. I love intrigue. Your writing style is nice. Descriptions are good, but I think you're capable of more. You're good at describing the characters range of emotions, reasoning, and reactions, but I would like to see more location description. I've seen the anime and so I translate a bar scene that I've seen before and place the characters within that realm. I am a fan of KakaSaku, NaruSaku, and SasuSaku. Sai is just odd. I've never really seen full pictures of him so I can't imagine him being attractive.This story doesn't seem Kakashi based or Naruto based so I'd have to pick Sasuke. This chapter was a good set up for the rest of the story.

Keep up the good work, love.

Okay I just scanned through this stuff on a whim. But I have to say this last chap, totally had me cracking up. LOL. Sakura better watch out, she's gotten noticed, but by the crowd that likes to pass their easy lays around. Its a good things she's got her teamates and Sensei to watch her back or whatever sweet little innocence she's still got [which apparantly is alot] would be lost faster than a Thai hooker near an American GI. Oh man. Ow and if I actually got this right, that Anko has got Sai in her sights, than I just have to say damn. Mr. Emotionally-Dead with Ms. Psychotic-Bitch. Now that would be something you need to video tape and submit to a hardcore sadism site.

Till next time... adios.

I’m actually surprised with how the story is coming out. Usually when a fic centers on the fact Sakura is “desirable” by everyone it tends to incorporate flowery fluff and a lot of out of characters. And that combination is annoying. However, while Sakura is portrayed as “hot stuff” she still managers to have her corky-ness without venturing in to Mary-Sue land. Overall – I like it. And your editor is doing a great job...got to love those guys. A life saver.

Regarding the pairing of choice… Ano--it has to be "Kakashi".

I’m following the manga and am stuck on Sasuke being possessed by Omochimaru (sort of like Naraku from Inuyasha). Hence, the only fics I like with Saku/Sasu are the ones filled with angst and split personality Sasuke bordering psycho tendencies (I believe its genetics ^_^). I love Sai, but can’t take him seriously with his tank top showing his midriff. Love the abs, but guys who wear those go to the Rainbow lounge in Waikiki (i.e. gay hangout). Not to mention I think he’s honestly not attracted to Sakura sexually, and more or less teases her ruthlessly because he feels a brotherly bond. Although, he'll rather die before he ever admits he actually cares for anyone... he's a closet sulker. ^_^ Sai riles people up for his own sick pleasure. Lastly, Naruto has more of a chance with Sakura than the other two… the only problem is I don’t think Sakura could ever devote herself to loving him the way he loves her. She can care for him, but not love him, not without thinking about Sasuke. It’s one sided, but it makes great angst. (I a whore for angst if you couldn’t tell). She’s also aware of Hinata’s affection for Naruto and I don’t believe Sakura is the type to ever take advantage of that, not intentionally. Sakura is the type of person who wants every one to like her and would rather sacrifice something dear to then dissapoint someone. The only selfish thing about her is the obsession to love someone unconditionally. Because of her love of Sasuke I believe she would be attracted to someone with similar traits, but not as serious. This is where Kakashi comes in. After all, it was said Kakashi and Sasuke were eerily similar as children. Sakura would certainly be looking for someone that could hold their own against her “bi-polar” mood-swings and once in awhile smile at her. While Kakashi would display his alter indifference, he cares enough of people's feelings. He wants them to live a happy life and not take it for granted like he did. And the whole 14 year age gap is not a huge deal as lone as Sakura is not a teenager. At 12 years old that would be sick, but at 19 or 20 it wouldn't even raise an eyebrow. From personal experience, I’ve only dated older men and one was at least 17 years my senior. It’s not how old you are, but how well you act. Experience is very sexy. Although, if you’re talking about a 40 y/o virgin who plays Dungeon and Dragons in his moms basement…then…..run for your life.

Done with my ranting. Great story.
Again, my vote is Kakashi—that smexy white fang.

Intense!

How is Sakura going to prepare for this mission? Hee-hee-heee.

Moresomes, Please!!!!

i love the protctiveness

in this chapter...

please update soon!!!