rate_review Reviews

That beginning was very....creepy. I really liked your descriptions of the woman and her past person compared to her present person.

Oh, poor Shikamaru!

That was an amazing kiss! I love your descriptions of events, very detailed.

The only thing that bothered me about this chapter was the way Neji recalled what happened to him in the warehouse with that woman. I just don't see Neji speaking in such a vulgar way. It seemed slightly out of character. I think he would have bene a little less descriptive about the woman and her genitalia. He spoke about it the way a man interested would have, when he clearly was not.

Option 1: Have Neji scarred after his past and what this crazy bitch did to him affect his blossoming relationship with Shikamaru. Continue their struggle in "Fateful Nights" where Neji has been being counsuled by Tsunade. The stress of Neji's problems is starting to wear on Shika's nerves and Tsunade sends him on a C-Ranked mission. Shika get sent on a solo mission where he gets hurt so bad that he's in critical condition. Neji then realises his fear of sexuality is nothing compared to the thought of almost losing the love of your life before you got to confess it well. Shika and Neji talks about each other's feelings more in depth and them working his problems out with slow pasionate sex. You end it with Neji riding Shika like a cowboy and it makes the happy readers die from blood loss!


Option 2: Allow the other authors to post chapters until it gets to a place where you want it and the remove the options to add chapters. This allows you to review what is written first and control where this goes.


Option 3: Continue it in a 2 part chapter 8 & 9 so that Part A of the chapter deals with Neji's fears and his talk with someone like Naruto or Hinata because they can tell when something is wrong with him and they almost always have the best advice or have him talk to someone like Iruka or Genma who is just like Shika in a way. Part B would deal with Shika's way to advance their relationship and have Neji take control first and the Shika take control.


I hope this helps cause I love the story! See if Prpl Grl and Kohaku Shadow can help . They have damn good Shika x Neji fics. They might be able to stear you in another direction. If you have questions, my email address is: bhubb88@hotmail.com

I really like the way it is starting out.

I agree with you that a lemon just wouldn't fit at this point. My vote's for a contination.

Ok. Here's how I see it. See, Neji would be terrified of sex because of what happened, yet, this is Shika we're talking about. The one person that was there and that came to his rescue, the person who nearly killed himself looking for him, the person he looked up at when the pain finally stopped. He wouldnt get a feeling of dread when with Shika because of what they had been through together. Instead he would get a feeling of comfort and safety.

*Teehee* Just read the first chapter and I'm already addicted. I think that your story is brilliant. Very well written with a true-cute-to-be-true Neji. I simply loved the conversation between Tsunade and Neji. So cruel, so funny - love her a lot! I'm off the read the next chapters... YAY!!

you should end it without the lemon and write a sequel