AFF Fiction Portal

rate_review Reviews

for hinata the demon

by writer33

person Ivellios
schedule June 2, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Wow, your spelling and grammar could use a lot of work but I have to admit I like this sick twisted piece of work. Update soon if you can.
person Anonymous
schedule May 21, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Spelling,grammar,spelling,GRAMMAR,SPELLING,GRAMMAR!!!
Spellcheck is your friend,USE IT.
schedule May 12, 2007 at 12:00 AM
definetly interesting want to read more most definetly.
person ItachiUchiha
schedule May 11, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Well, The story is pretty good, and the Third chapter was pretty fast and done reading in a few mins but it's a ok story, Just one thing that bothers me though since when can Humans or Human-form Demons lay eggs? That kinda threw it off abit. Ah well keep up the good work and hope to see more updates soon
schedule May 2, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Yes! You fineing update. I like the chapter inxeshing the instincts part. Hope youmcan starte chapter 3 soon. I want to see want Naruto does.
schedule April 25, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Seems like a great concept. You need to work on your writing style more. Try to improve sentence structure and word usage. Great concept though I am interested to see where this is going to end up.
schedule April 23, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Yes!! Thank you for doing this request.You made it really good. Hope you gave some demon fetchers to Hinata like a tail or ears. I cant wait for the next chapter.
person nimistar
schedule April 23, 2007 at 12:00 AM
its ok, it would be better if you used paragraphs instead of making a giant wall of text.
schedule April 23, 2007 at 12:00 AM
First story? Well I like it, it is nice, planned and I'm interested in what Hinata will do or do to Naruto. Please update soon.
schedule April 23, 2007 at 12:00 AM
waitin to see what happens next it just needs editing