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schedule
May 20, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Cool!! I like this story please update soon
schedule
May 20, 2007 at 12:00 AM
You call that a date?? I demand to see the flowers! XD!! THat's was okay, you just have a few little errors that need to be fixed up a bit. Such as 'ceiling' that's how it's spelled... and you don't capitolize the 'r' in 'stared'. Can't wait for the next bit!!
-Damp
-Damp
schedule
May 20, 2007 at 12:00 AM
HHMM, I like it so far. A mistake here and there, but nothing real bad. Keep up the good work, I look forward to the next chapter :).
schedule
May 20, 2007 at 12:00 AM
That was kewl. I like how it start's out...I just hope Naruto gives him a scare you know, so Sasuke knows how much he likes him. But update soon please! *eats cookie*
schedule
May 20, 2007 at 12:00 AM
I'm a little confused. Is Naruto a sex slave or just a regular slave that Sasuke wants to have sex with? Also, be a little more descriptive, let the reader know what the characters are feeling and what the setting is like. You also might want a beta, they help a lot. Nice concept but you need to take your time.
schedule
May 20, 2007 at 12:00 AM
I just love a forceful Sasuke! He can boss me around anytime!!
schedule
May 20, 2007 at 12:00 AM
hmm sounds like a good story so far, can't wait to read more, hope you update soon, and for the thing naruto has to do thats disobediant i'm thinking he disrespects sasuke in public by maybe mouthing off to him at school in front of his friends or something, but can't wait to see what u'll write
schedule
May 20, 2007 at 12:00 AM
damn. im impressed