schedule
July 23, 2007 at 12:00 AM
you may not have noticed this but you forgot to put chapter 2 in you only put in the disclaimer etc.
God speed.
God speed.
schedule
July 23, 2007 at 12:00 AM
sorry you explained this in a review.
is there any other way to see the reviews without having to post one yourself?
is there any other way to see the reviews without having to post one yourself?
schedule
July 12, 2007 at 12:00 AM
i can't read ch. 2... it only comes up as the disclaimer... it's such a tease!! tells me there is a second chappie up.. and then laughs at me when i try to read it! is the second chapter just not posted yet?
schedule
June 28, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Hey, like the story, why no second chapter? Blonde Girl Confused...(Don't worry this happens often)
schedule
June 28, 2007 at 12:00 AM
I like your idea. It's quite a good start. I noticed you have a few spelling errors that you kept making. Like layed, which is correctly spelt as lied. You should also make use full stops to separate your sentences. It's harder to read when 2 or 3 sentences are clumped together. It's not a very big deal but just a pointer. What else... vocabulary can still be widened but you don't have to worry much about that. Sometimes keeping it simple is the best way to start. I guess that's all for now. Keep writing. I'm very sure this will turn out to be a great story. I'll continue reading if you continue to update. ^^,
D
D
schedule
June 28, 2007 at 12:00 AM
where is the storie?
schedule
June 28, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Hon, your second chapter didn't take. You may want to try uploading it again.
schedule
June 28, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Im Seriously trying to add a new chapter but for some reason i fucking cat >_< grrrrrrrrrs its annoying i have the next chapter yet i cant use it as a new story or new chapter D: i dont understand this site at all.
schedule
June 28, 2007 at 12:00 AM
That was sweet. I noticed several errors; if you need or want a beta, I'll beta for you. You can e-mail me at marine_corps_mama@yahoo.com
schedule
June 28, 2007 at 12:00 AM
hey im sorry about this. dont think of this as a flame, but as helping note...thingy's.
1.) i didn't read much so im not saying the whole thing is terrible this is just off of part 1. after half of it, i chose to just skim and man, sorry but there was nothin origanal..but hey i love these types of story's too, but it'd be kool to see somthin new. really.
2.) try to re-read whatever you wrote atleast 2 or 3 times if u don't have a beta. it makes it alot easier for us to read it. and it makes it feel more....mmm, i forgot the word for it =) ....mmmm, better?
3.) don't let anybody like me stop ya from writin. thats y i said i don't like to write flames. thier mean =(
keep tryin. =)
1.) i didn't read much so im not saying the whole thing is terrible this is just off of part 1. after half of it, i chose to just skim and man, sorry but there was nothin origanal..but hey i love these types of story's too, but it'd be kool to see somthin new. really.
2.) try to re-read whatever you wrote atleast 2 or 3 times if u don't have a beta. it makes it alot easier for us to read it. and it makes it feel more....mmm, i forgot the word for it =) ....mmmm, better?
3.) don't let anybody like me stop ya from writin. thats y i said i don't like to write flames. thier mean =(
keep tryin. =)