errorYou must be logged in to review this story.
schedule
September 29, 2007 at 12:00 AM
It hard to understand what's going on sometimes, but overall it's a good plot
schedule
September 26, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Please keep it Itachi and Naruto, I love that pairing
schedule
September 24, 2007 at 12:00 AM
its a great idea for a story, but the one question that has kept irking me throughout the whole thing was "Why do the Akatsuki keep letting everybody live?" I mean won't it just cause trouble for them later on? Plus wouldn't killing be easier than swiping someone of thier memories? As evident with Naruto in this last chapter, obviously locked memories can be retrieved. :/
Akatsuki got no whims against killing, so the only thing i can figure is that you just didn't want to kill off the main characters that came across them. As much as I love Kakashi, Ayami and her father (I forget his name), there was no reason to let them live.
Keep up the good work though. :P
Akatsuki got no whims against killing, so the only thing i can figure is that you just didn't want to kill off the main characters that came across them. As much as I love Kakashi, Ayami and her father (I forget his name), there was no reason to let them live.
Keep up the good work though. :P
schedule
September 23, 2007 at 12:00 AM
I am in the process of writing an e-mail response but I wanted to respond to this story sooner than later.
It is a good start though it does need a little work to make it easier to understand. Some of the dialog is a little difficult and I am not sure if it is something that was caused by aff.net or something with the original text but there appear to be gaps in the scenes.
Personally I dislike the oversimplification of characters such as giving flat titles of good or evil as even the most vilest of characters, if they are to have any depth of personality, must have some motivation to their actions.
For instance I find it hard to believe that Itachi would kill his clan just because he could or even with something simple as a discovery of a hidden diary but what if something else happened. For instance what would a person do if he found out his clan intended to wipe out the village he had sworn loyalty to? Or if they were the ones to attract the 9 tails ire against Kanoha(this theory would combine really well with power hungry Head of clan wanting to use the most powerful demon to create an even more powerful bloodline maybe even with the sacrifice of Sasuke to charge the ritual)? Or if the clan had a meeting after they read the entries about Naruto and (the Uchiha head being one of those most vocal with the wish to destroy the 'demon') tried to order Itachi to attack his own charge(this would combine with Itachi keeping his role a secret from even his father but as an ANBU that would not be far fetched), this last idea would not even require any alteration of any of the posted chapters.
Sorry it is taking so long for me to respond, I really hope college stuff goes well for you. Please feel free to ask specific questions if you want me to clarify anything that I have suggested or written.
~Reflections
HarrisDaniel@hotmail.com
PS I found Wikipedia's article about Akatsuki very informative when it actually comes to understanding things, though I am not sure that it is all inclusive
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Akatsuki_%28Naruto%29
It is a good start though it does need a little work to make it easier to understand. Some of the dialog is a little difficult and I am not sure if it is something that was caused by aff.net or something with the original text but there appear to be gaps in the scenes.
Personally I dislike the oversimplification of characters such as giving flat titles of good or evil as even the most vilest of characters, if they are to have any depth of personality, must have some motivation to their actions.
For instance I find it hard to believe that Itachi would kill his clan just because he could or even with something simple as a discovery of a hidden diary but what if something else happened. For instance what would a person do if he found out his clan intended to wipe out the village he had sworn loyalty to? Or if they were the ones to attract the 9 tails ire against Kanoha(this theory would combine really well with power hungry Head of clan wanting to use the most powerful demon to create an even more powerful bloodline maybe even with the sacrifice of Sasuke to charge the ritual)? Or if the clan had a meeting after they read the entries about Naruto and (the Uchiha head being one of those most vocal with the wish to destroy the 'demon') tried to order Itachi to attack his own charge(this would combine with Itachi keeping his role a secret from even his father but as an ANBU that would not be far fetched), this last idea would not even require any alteration of any of the posted chapters.
Sorry it is taking so long for me to respond, I really hope college stuff goes well for you. Please feel free to ask specific questions if you want me to clarify anything that I have suggested or written.
~Reflections
HarrisDaniel@hotmail.com
PS I found Wikipedia's article about Akatsuki very informative when it actually comes to understanding things, though I am not sure that it is all inclusive
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Akatsuki_%28Naruto%29
schedule
September 23, 2007 at 12:00 AM
this looks good i love itanaru! but you should probably get a beta cause it would make it a whole lot better.
schedule
September 23, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Uhm..A bit random..And you need to proof read..But it's okay...
schedule
August 17, 2007 at 12:00 AM
*holds hands to chest* ...I LOVE YOU!!!! *glomps* FINALLY!!!! FINALLY a ItachixNaruto fic! Do you know how hard it is finding a good fic with this pairing?!?! I swear... you're my new hero! I read all of your other Naruto stories and I loved them as well... PLEASE keep writing more!
schedule
July 20, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Please make itItachi/Naruto pairing. I love what you have so far.
schedule
July 19, 2007 at 12:00 AM
make it a threesome!! hahahaha just joking!!
ASOTA
ASOTA
schedule
July 18, 2007 at 12:00 AM
very cool story. i think you should make this a Itachi/Naruto fic