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December 20, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Get a beta. Maybe more then one would be best because honestly, you're making my brain hurt just by trying to read this. The numerous mechanical errors and lack of detail is pushing me away from ever even thinking about this story every again. It's bland and it lacks so many things to keep my interest in it. Get someone to help you improve your writing ability. That's all I can really say.
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December 19, 2007 at 12:00 AM
I really liked this story when I first read it on Fanfiction. So I was wondering if you were going to update it on there as well or if you were just going to up date it here.
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November 1, 2007 at 12:00 AM
hmmm, interesting. i think i kinda like this and want to see more; not quite sure, but yeah. why'd they "break up"? where was sakura ... wait, who cares about her?
let's see more! later ..
let's see more! later ..
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October 18, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Yeah, I definetly need more of this story. This is really good.
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October 15, 2007 at 12:00 AM
i will like an update of this story.
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July 27, 2007 at 12:00 AM
lol i dont know where i came up with her. i guess i just saw a slut one day and decided to put her into character. lol.
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July 26, 2007 at 12:00 AM
awesome! is he good to me? keep his dog away lol? no its cool. i am about to put the next chapter in "i dont love you" up. it has alot of you in it... you get embarassed... and you see a man naked. its good lol. i am not quite finished... but close. oh... did you call me today at like 12:30 1:00?
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July 23, 2007 at 12:00 AM
I LOVE this story.... where are the rest of your chapters??? i know i know... i'm a WO-man whore in it lol. but ehhh. i still love it.
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July 10, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Wow, this went off to a hawt start. Give us more!
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July 10, 2007 at 12:00 AM
That's totally hot. I koved this first chapter. Now I want to read more and find out why Naruto says they were broken up.