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July 23, 2007 at 12:00 AM
oh man, that is too funny, but you think that people would try to check what was wrong before putting him on the stretcher, or Iruka actually asking whats wrong, can't believe he called for an ambulance, god thats funny!!! :) Poor naruto though.keep up the good work ^.^
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July 22, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Ok I totaly hate sasukes parents and I totaly Love konohamaru! And YAY Naruto openly dislikes Sakura! ^^ I realy like this so far! pleas update soon!
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July 17, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Hey I like this but I think you need a beta. I could give it a whirl if you like... Or you can shoot me, just--whatever ^___^
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July 16, 2007 at 12:00 AM
hey its not that hard to find virgin!!! your talking to one!! hey..quit thinking peverted things!!
this fic started out nice but dont let you ego get to you its only been one capter!! goodluck!
this fic started out nice but dont let you ego get to you its only been one capter!! goodluck!
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July 13, 2007 at 12:00 AM
This story show promise. Please continue!!
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July 12, 2007 at 12:00 AM
two tings, one bad and one good; (good one): the idea is not bad, (indeed i think it's really funny), but (bad one) you REALLY need a beta! english is not my first language, but however, i found a little too many mistakes. see ya!
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July 12, 2007 at 12:00 AM
um well on the good side the story is a good idea on the bad side you NEED a beta BADLY. for example you wrote "he was born immoral how do you become unmoral" (or something to that effect) that sentence manke NO SENSE at all. i gather that you meant he was born immortal...there is a difference between the words immoral and immortal.there were lots of other mistakes as well. also your chapter legnth should be longer and should have more depth to it.its a good first try though keep it up
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July 12, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Well now, you got my attention. ^^ Pretty easy to read/understand and seems interesting. I'll be looking forward to the next update.
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July 12, 2007 at 12:00 AM
short chapter, but you're just getting started i hope. good luck and i like the story concept.
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July 12, 2007 at 12:00 AM
OOh, I like the story so far, but isn't this story's title another one's title. I don't know the title seems highly similar to another. Well anyway I love what you got going here and look forward to more of it :)!