schedule
August 5, 2007 at 12:00 AM
oh my god i thing that was the sweetest sex scene i have ever read i had some tears and a big smile on my face and everything and did i mention the awwwwwwwwwwwwwww factor awwwwwwwwwww
schedule
August 5, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Sad but good. update soon.
schedule
August 5, 2007 at 12:00 AM
YEAH!!! You continued the one shot. This is great. I can't wait to see where you take things. ++ I wanna know if Itachi really would just let him escape like that. And are you going to bring Kyuubi back?
schedule
August 5, 2007 at 12:00 AM
This is good. I like it! Please update soon!^^
schedule
August 5, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Interesting plot you have going on here, I really enjoyed this first chapter. Though my first reaction was to chuckle at your disclaimer; to paraphrase the story has rape, humiliation, and disturbing images . . . have fun reading! It occurred to me that kind of warning would seem terribly wrong to a lot of people . . . so what does that say about those of us that find it fitting? I like how the story has some elements from the manga but, you have added your own twist. It was interesting that it was Itachi that broke Naruto and made him addicted to pleasure but, you put in there that Sasuke as well had always wanted to enslave Naruto for his own. Hmm, it seems the brothers Uchiha have much in common. I see you have a second chapter, I'm off to read it now. You have my interest.
schedule
August 5, 2007 at 12:00 AM
I like that chapter 2 slowed down a bit. Poor Naruto is so confused, hopefully Sasuke can help him. Can't wait to see what you have in mind for those new seals. Are those going to be able to hold back Kyuubi? I mean the 4th's seal didn't why would these? I hope you stick with this.
schedule
July 26, 2007 at 12:00 AM
That was rather abrupt...
It would be better for this story to continue. Have a chapter with the trek back. Having Sakura, Sai and Kakashi finding out about Naruto's condition along the way is up to you. I would have Kakashi realize AT LEAST the bare minimum of what had happened, if not more. (I mean, it IS Kakashi, not some clueless genin we're talking about here.) Tsunade, of course, needs to know what happened when the group goes back and tries to heal Naruto. I don't know whether you would want Naruto's cravings to be solely satisfied by Sasuke (which would reinforced the need to not let everyone know that Naruto is back since his condition is so deeply inflicted) or have Naruto throw himself at anybody's feet. I think having Sasuke fulfilled his needs would be best but have Naruto conflicted over being so needy and ashamed of that at the same time. Also, since Sasuke himself craves Naruto, him being possessive of Naruto wouldn't go amiss. That would work well since the title is, after all, "Enslaving Naruto". Itachi doesn't have to be the only one that enslaves Naruto, if you get my drift.
Itachi needs to go and search Naruto again. A must.
Naruto suffer some major physical, emotional, and mental abuse here. Have a flash back that shows how Naruto got out of there since it was clearly not an easy escape. I mean, if Naruto couldn't have escaped when he didn't suffer that much, how the hell did he successfully flee after TWO YEARS of abuse?
You have SO MUCH material to work with here! Don't end this story so prematurely!
Keep going!
It would be better for this story to continue. Have a chapter with the trek back. Having Sakura, Sai and Kakashi finding out about Naruto's condition along the way is up to you. I would have Kakashi realize AT LEAST the bare minimum of what had happened, if not more. (I mean, it IS Kakashi, not some clueless genin we're talking about here.) Tsunade, of course, needs to know what happened when the group goes back and tries to heal Naruto. I don't know whether you would want Naruto's cravings to be solely satisfied by Sasuke (which would reinforced the need to not let everyone know that Naruto is back since his condition is so deeply inflicted) or have Naruto throw himself at anybody's feet. I think having Sasuke fulfilled his needs would be best but have Naruto conflicted over being so needy and ashamed of that at the same time. Also, since Sasuke himself craves Naruto, him being possessive of Naruto wouldn't go amiss. That would work well since the title is, after all, "Enslaving Naruto". Itachi doesn't have to be the only one that enslaves Naruto, if you get my drift.
Itachi needs to go and search Naruto again. A must.
Naruto suffer some major physical, emotional, and mental abuse here. Have a flash back that shows how Naruto got out of there since it was clearly not an easy escape. I mean, if Naruto couldn't have escaped when he didn't suffer that much, how the hell did he successfully flee after TWO YEARS of abuse?
You have SO MUCH material to work with here! Don't end this story so prematurely!
Keep going!
schedule
July 26, 2007 at 12:00 AM
please continue. I really like this story.
schedule
July 26, 2007 at 12:00 AM
well writtenn i like it. im thinking its ore of a
short story like mayb 3 chapeters, but it does have
some possiablity of becoming a full on story.dunno
it hard 2 say for now i say come up w/ ch. 2 n we'll
c how ur public luvs it for u 2 cont. or not. best of
luck and i hope 2 c nuthi chapter up soon. ur new fan
AoiKitsune =^-^=
short story like mayb 3 chapeters, but it does have
some possiablity of becoming a full on story.dunno
it hard 2 say for now i say come up w/ ch. 2 n we'll
c how ur public luvs it for u 2 cont. or not. best of
luck and i hope 2 c nuthi chapter up soon. ur new fan
AoiKitsune =^-^=
schedule
July 26, 2007 at 12:00 AM
this is a really great and interesting beginning to a great fanfiction if you decide to write more. And if not it was a great one shot as well. but i would like to read more.