schedule
January 21, 2009 at 12:00 AM
chap.7!
aw! there was no gaara in this chapter! please make him in the next chapter if u can! WELL ANYWAYS I TOTALLY CANT WAIT TO READ WHAT HAPPENS NEXT! I AM IN LOVE WITH THIS STORY! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE IM BEGGING YOU MAKE NEW CHAPTERS SOON! ILL BE WAITING! ( LONGINGLY!!)
aw! there was no gaara in this chapter! please make him in the next chapter if u can! WELL ANYWAYS I TOTALLY CANT WAIT TO READ WHAT HAPPENS NEXT! I AM IN LOVE WITH THIS STORY! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE IM BEGGING YOU MAKE NEW CHAPTERS SOON! ILL BE WAITING! ( LONGINGLY!!)
schedule
January 21, 2009 at 12:00 AM
I LOVE THE IDEA OG GIVING THEM POWERS OR ARE DEMONS! AND DESERT FOR A CODENAME FOR GAARA TOTALLY FITS!
schedule
November 5, 2007 at 12:00 AM
I appologize if this seems dissjointed, but I promise that everything will be explained in the chapter after the next. And I'm not discouraged, since I prefer constructive critisizm to praise since I prefer to try and improve myself. Not that the praise isn't nice :). I will try to update as soon as possible and hopefully it will make things easier to understand. thanks for taking the time to point out my mistakes. I really appreciate it. Youve earned a cyber cookie. *shoves cyber cookies at you.*
Ja Ne
Sara-hime
Ja Ne
Sara-hime
schedule
November 4, 2007 at 12:00 AM
what the hell?
I mean, yeah, I kinda knew you would be going sort of supernatural with this.. but this just came out of left field with little to no explanation. All of a sudden: Vampires! i mean what the hell?
That said, I ususally try to reserve from any kind of flaming and nor do I think you deserve any flaming for your story, as you are a talented writer. My only constructive criticizm would be that you needed a smoother tranition in the story before introducing all this supernatural stuff. Maybe have it introduced with Gaara discovering it, since, you know, he is our outsider perspective to this school and its residents. I started reading this chapter only to go: where the hell did this come from? Its really left field. :/
Keep up your otherwise good work and I hope this hasn't discouraged you at all. You've established an interesting world for the characters, then introduced something that up until this point, made no sense. It could have been perfectly understandable within the story, but you introduced nothing to make this element of the story acceptable to the reader. It is equally as random as having all the characters suddenly start flying fighter jets against the other houses int he school. A wtf-factor that makes no sense.
I mean, yeah, I kinda knew you would be going sort of supernatural with this.. but this just came out of left field with little to no explanation. All of a sudden: Vampires! i mean what the hell?
That said, I ususally try to reserve from any kind of flaming and nor do I think you deserve any flaming for your story, as you are a talented writer. My only constructive criticizm would be that you needed a smoother tranition in the story before introducing all this supernatural stuff. Maybe have it introduced with Gaara discovering it, since, you know, he is our outsider perspective to this school and its residents. I started reading this chapter only to go: where the hell did this come from? Its really left field. :/
Keep up your otherwise good work and I hope this hasn't discouraged you at all. You've established an interesting world for the characters, then introduced something that up until this point, made no sense. It could have been perfectly understandable within the story, but you introduced nothing to make this element of the story acceptable to the reader. It is equally as random as having all the characters suddenly start flying fighter jets against the other houses int he school. A wtf-factor that makes no sense.
schedule
September 3, 2007 at 12:00 AM
umm i like it but i'm kinda confused please update soon so i can learn more and figure it out
schedule
August 31, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Thanks. as requested I updated Kisses
JA NE
JA NE