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February 19, 2008 at 12:00 AM
A new chapter, weeh! I can honestly say that i thought you had abandoned the series. Oh well kudos to you.
NarutoxFemSasuke is a very rare pairing, and i couldn't be more thrilled that you chose to make it, i don't think there have been made any real lemons with this pairing, there has been a few where Sasuke uses the Orioke, but since it is still yaoi, it gives me the creeps. So it's amazing with a real Female Sasuke lemon.
I really liked how you explained the female Sasuke, often writers doesn't dig very deep and it's nice to see good one.
So if you overlook the few grammatical errors, yet another amazing lemon from you, and i can't wait for the next one.
Malach Adonai
NarutoxFemSasuke is a very rare pairing, and i couldn't be more thrilled that you chose to make it, i don't think there have been made any real lemons with this pairing, there has been a few where Sasuke uses the Orioke, but since it is still yaoi, it gives me the creeps. So it's amazing with a real Female Sasuke lemon.
I really liked how you explained the female Sasuke, often writers doesn't dig very deep and it's nice to see good one.
So if you overlook the few grammatical errors, yet another amazing lemon from you, and i can't wait for the next one.
Malach Adonai
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February 19, 2008 at 12:00 AM
you'll do incest, but not a naruto/tsunade pairing? why?
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February 19, 2008 at 12:00 AM
The plot is a little weak and the dialogue needs some work, but the smut is top notch. Not bad over all.
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February 19, 2008 at 12:00 AM
I love all the Chapters but my favorite was the Female Sasuke.
Can't wait for the next chapter.
Can't wait for the next chapter.
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February 19, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Very, very smexy. And probably my second favorite Naruto pairing, or nearly so. Realistically speaking, there is something seriously wrong with Kishimoto, because all of his best girl characters are guys. >_> Dude.
There was a spelling error or two, I think, or rather a wrong word error. I think it was a 'too' instead of a 'to' and I /think/ there was a similar one with 'two' instead of 'too' somewhere. But that might have been something I'd read earlier today.
Having Naruto be contemplating suicide was a lame plot device. The scene would have worked a lot better if Naruto was standing too close to the edge and Sasuke/Miko mistook it for a suicide attempt. It would also help the humor present at the end fit a little better, since the last bits didn't fit the feel of the rest of the story.
Overall though, it was really good. The whole 'marking' thing was a bit cliche, but whatever. The motivation for it was easy to see, and easy enough to excuse, because it was for the sake of porn. It could have been a bit more polished, but I liked it.
Also, you should consider looking up Hawk's "The Fanfiction Forum" and posting things there first to get more constructive comments before posting things. Or not. Whatever, moar.
Later
There was a spelling error or two, I think, or rather a wrong word error. I think it was a 'too' instead of a 'to' and I /think/ there was a similar one with 'two' instead of 'too' somewhere. But that might have been something I'd read earlier today.
Having Naruto be contemplating suicide was a lame plot device. The scene would have worked a lot better if Naruto was standing too close to the edge and Sasuke/Miko mistook it for a suicide attempt. It would also help the humor present at the end fit a little better, since the last bits didn't fit the feel of the rest of the story.
Overall though, it was really good. The whole 'marking' thing was a bit cliche, but whatever. The motivation for it was easy to see, and easy enough to excuse, because it was for the sake of porn. It could have been a bit more polished, but I liked it.
Also, you should consider looking up Hawk's "The Fanfiction Forum" and posting things there first to get more constructive comments before posting things. Or not. Whatever, moar.
Later
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February 19, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Interesting Konan lemon, I can't wait to see the next one!
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February 18, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Thanks for your writing. I would love to see the Hinata and Hanabi story, I know you said that you would do single pairings first, but I wanted you to know that someone out there was looking forward to that particular chapter. Also the regular one with Hinata has me excited too. Thanks for your hard work.
Dave
Dave
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February 18, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Yo its me, great chapter though it seemed shorter than the other ones. Another thing is you could do a naruto/femkyuub/nibi/yugito. that could work out well And if possible move up evil kyuubi in the order. Im really looking forward to the nibi one. Are you gonna use your idea for your story on fanfiction. Well sorry for the poor organization of this review
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February 18, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Good story. :) You really need to write a story on FF.net with this pairing :)
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February 18, 2008 at 12:00 AM
My goodness i could name off combinations i would like to see Naru/Hina/Sasu(fem) and Naru/Hina/Haku/Sasu(fem) as well and also ever since the time i read the Kyuubi one i got this stuck in my head when Kyuubi techincally breaks Hinatas heart there what if instead of leaving it like that Kyuubi made Hinata her and Naruto's sex slave toy right in front of everyone just something i thought i would through in for that.