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October 15, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Well this chapter was pretty good as well. I can understand Asuma's revulsion at first to Naruto's puppets but
then again Naruto is Konoha's first puppetteer. After all while Suna was originally disturbed by Sasori's
Human Puppets, they did acknowledge their strength and usefulness in battle.
As for pairings, I have to agree with you. Putting a pairing in a story and if it doesn't work with the plot,
then it's not necessarily worth it. Now if it affects how the plot goes minorly (good or bad), you can stick a
relationship in but just not refer to it too often (since that would be material that happens when they have
down time and can be together).
Now for Asuma's team, considering they're the combat team of the bunch, they will most likely learn very
effective jutsus to cause damage on either a wide-scale or limited area devastation depending on the situation.
As for Naruto, Asuma will just point out the fact that there will be times when Naruto is unable to use a puppet, and he'll need other methods of dealing with opponents.
As for another villian, why not use Pain of Akatsuki and Hidden Rain (make them wanting everyone else to
suffer like Hidden Rain has since they were the usual battleground between shinobi countries).
Anyways keep up the good work and I hope to read more soon.
then again Naruto is Konoha's first puppetteer. After all while Suna was originally disturbed by Sasori's
Human Puppets, they did acknowledge their strength and usefulness in battle.
As for pairings, I have to agree with you. Putting a pairing in a story and if it doesn't work with the plot,
then it's not necessarily worth it. Now if it affects how the plot goes minorly (good or bad), you can stick a
relationship in but just not refer to it too often (since that would be material that happens when they have
down time and can be together).
Now for Asuma's team, considering they're the combat team of the bunch, they will most likely learn very
effective jutsus to cause damage on either a wide-scale or limited area devastation depending on the situation.
As for Naruto, Asuma will just point out the fact that there will be times when Naruto is unable to use a puppet, and he'll need other methods of dealing with opponents.
As for another villian, why not use Pain of Akatsuki and Hidden Rain (make them wanting everyone else to
suffer like Hidden Rain has since they were the usual battleground between shinobi countries).
Anyways keep up the good work and I hope to read more soon.
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October 12, 2007 at 12:00 AM
WOOO this story is GOOD! i cant wait to see naruto's strategy in action. i also cant wait to see what human pupets he makes. also is this going to follow the general storyline, you know with the whole zabuza/haku mission and what not>?
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October 12, 2007 at 12:00 AM
after reading the other reviews i just wanted to say, ignore bonerboy. take the progression at your own pace. personaly i could care less about the absence of or inclusion of hentai, as long as the story lives and breathes ^^
well, JaaNee
well, JaaNee
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October 12, 2007 at 12:00 AM
I like your set-up. I can't wait to see where you go with this. :)
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October 11, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Interesting team lineups you created. I am looking forward to seeing how they turn out. Sasori was killed....damn that Snake bastard Orochi-Jackson! Oh yeah, "Pocky" is the correct spelling of the sweet treat :-). Also, if you are not going for a hentai pairing and you are going for a yaoi pairing, how about Naruto/Shino or Naruto/Neji? Hell, I would love a threesome with either of those two boys and Hinata in the middle, but please do not do Naruto and Sasuke. Not only is it overdone, but come on, that pairing sucks ass and they don't mesh well at all.
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October 11, 2007 at 12:00 AM
put some porn in it!! your basicly in a porn site so up the lemons lol
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October 11, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Hehe, I kinda like how this story is coming out I was all bummed out when I finished the first chapter ^^;; But keep up the good work it's something new for Naruto stories but still I like the idea of Naruto of being a Puppet Master, I never would have thought of this type of story, Unfortunately I have no writing skills at all which makes me sad when I read some good stories.
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October 11, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Nice second chapter, i can't wait to see more of this.
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October 11, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Well this was an enjoyable chapter. I like how you cleared up the fact concerning Akatsuki and Sasori for
people. As for how Naruto progressed under Sasori, the fact of the matter is, that if anyone had done that
then Naruto would have progressed just as much (but they didn't and now it's coming to bite them in their ass).
As for Naruto with his Human Puppets, I wonder when he will use them. I'm surprised Sasuke wasn't being all
boasting in the Academy about his skill being superior to everyone else's. Also I'm wondering if Naruto
demonstrated any of his abilities in class or not.
As for the different teams, I have one thing to say, good for you. Some people write the teams to be the same
as the original teams were and give no explanation as to why that is (even though with how they've made people
train and learn, the original Team 7, 8, and 10 are no longer balanced for power concerning rankings). Some
write it the same so that it is easier on them (and give the reason of Sakura being weak, but the fact is it
was her brains that caused her to be put on Team 7 since Naruto has his strength and stamina), others at least
try using the role system (which is usually the most believeable reason if they don't change the teams with a
stronger/smarter Naruto). So I hope these teams work out for you (it'd be funny if Team 7 failed because of
Sasuke, just think of the uproar the Council would be in, and yet the ninja clans would support Kakashi's
report, especially if it mentioned about Shino and Shikamaru trying to work with him and also helping him when
he needs it). After all it can give a reason to have Naruto dislike Sasuke, due to the Council trying to make
sure Sasuke is a genin (since he has such a lone wolf attitude, I say it'd only be fair if Shino and Shikamaru
with Kakashi's permission do a couple of d-ranks on their own while Sasuke does the same, since he thinks a
team is of no use to him). After all I wouldn't doubt they'd get him passed somehow (even though no one seems
to clue in on how big his problem is with his brother).
As for any possible pairing, and I'd expect it'd take a few years to show up, I say to go with Naruto x Hinata.
A funny request that Naruto could make to Sarutobi, is concerning what happens to his body when he dies. Just
think about it, someone asking if they can have your body once you die.
As for how Naruto will fight, I agree on the fact that by using his brains more, he won't need to use his
techniques as much. But I can still see him learning new techniques (besides Rasengan or Summoning), that are
either concealment/diversion types (the hidden in the mist technique is a concealment and the grand fireball
of Sasuke's is a diversion/offence type), plus techniques that are defensive and/or offensive in nature.
Although for Naruto and how he is, I can see the techniques mainly falling under the concealment/diversion and
defensive categories (since a defense helps protect the puppeteer).
Poor Asuma when he sees Naruto's Kyuubi puppet. Also a question just how badly damaged was Sasori and his cave.
Depending on the amount of damage to the cave, Naruto either would have gotten more scrolls (considering
everything that was in there), the cave was sealed until he gets there or it was destroyed. As for Sasori
himself, depending on what remained and since Naruto knows the theory behind Human Puppets, he might be able
to rebuild Sasori (at least if his heart plug was still in one piece).
Anyways keep up the good work.
people. As for how Naruto progressed under Sasori, the fact of the matter is, that if anyone had done that
then Naruto would have progressed just as much (but they didn't and now it's coming to bite them in their ass).
As for Naruto with his Human Puppets, I wonder when he will use them. I'm surprised Sasuke wasn't being all
boasting in the Academy about his skill being superior to everyone else's. Also I'm wondering if Naruto
demonstrated any of his abilities in class or not.
As for the different teams, I have one thing to say, good for you. Some people write the teams to be the same
as the original teams were and give no explanation as to why that is (even though with how they've made people
train and learn, the original Team 7, 8, and 10 are no longer balanced for power concerning rankings). Some
write it the same so that it is easier on them (and give the reason of Sakura being weak, but the fact is it
was her brains that caused her to be put on Team 7 since Naruto has his strength and stamina), others at least
try using the role system (which is usually the most believeable reason if they don't change the teams with a
stronger/smarter Naruto). So I hope these teams work out for you (it'd be funny if Team 7 failed because of
Sasuke, just think of the uproar the Council would be in, and yet the ninja clans would support Kakashi's
report, especially if it mentioned about Shino and Shikamaru trying to work with him and also helping him when
he needs it). After all it can give a reason to have Naruto dislike Sasuke, due to the Council trying to make
sure Sasuke is a genin (since he has such a lone wolf attitude, I say it'd only be fair if Shino and Shikamaru
with Kakashi's permission do a couple of d-ranks on their own while Sasuke does the same, since he thinks a
team is of no use to him). After all I wouldn't doubt they'd get him passed somehow (even though no one seems
to clue in on how big his problem is with his brother).
As for any possible pairing, and I'd expect it'd take a few years to show up, I say to go with Naruto x Hinata.
A funny request that Naruto could make to Sarutobi, is concerning what happens to his body when he dies. Just
think about it, someone asking if they can have your body once you die.
As for how Naruto will fight, I agree on the fact that by using his brains more, he won't need to use his
techniques as much. But I can still see him learning new techniques (besides Rasengan or Summoning), that are
either concealment/diversion types (the hidden in the mist technique is a concealment and the grand fireball
of Sasuke's is a diversion/offence type), plus techniques that are defensive and/or offensive in nature.
Although for Naruto and how he is, I can see the techniques mainly falling under the concealment/diversion and
defensive categories (since a defense helps protect the puppeteer).
Poor Asuma when he sees Naruto's Kyuubi puppet. Also a question just how badly damaged was Sasori and his cave.
Depending on the amount of damage to the cave, Naruto either would have gotten more scrolls (considering
everything that was in there), the cave was sealed until he gets there or it was destroyed. As for Sasori
himself, depending on what remained and since Naruto knows the theory behind Human Puppets, he might be able
to rebuild Sasori (at least if his heart plug was still in one piece).
Anyways keep up the good work.
schedule
October 10, 2007 at 12:00 AM
I enjoyed the way you started this story since it is a fairly original concept and it was well written.
As far as who the human puppets could be i could se itachi as a puppet much later in the series, though that would really piss off Sasuke.
As far as who the human puppets could be i could se itachi as a puppet much later in the series, though that would really piss off Sasuke.