rate_review Reviews

Are you ok?! i follow you on deviantart and you haven't updated any of your stories in almost 3 years :( i REALLY hope you can continue them soon! they're AWESOME!

Great story!!! plz make more chapters!!!

So much of this story doesn't make sense. If Sasuke's parents were part of this super-hero team, why would they treat their son hatefully and why would they allow anyone else too. Whatever happens to Sasuke is an indirect insult and affront to his parents and Itachi. So, actually it would be better for them to keep himn in a regular school or make sure he's protected or to make sure than everyone knows that if Sasuke gets fucked with that the people who do it will have to answer to the rest of the Uchia family.. A super hero school would have administration, teachers, workers who were of the highest moral caliber--they would not allow the behavior you have Sasuke suffer happen. There's no logic to half the things you write in this story.

(( “You really should have given in… now it won’t be as pleasurable as it could have been…”))___this is Sai, talking to who he thinks is Naruto while in the virtual reality room. So you have Sai, a member of the super hero team (since he's in the building)-basically raping who he think is Naruto. And using Naruto's aunt's chemicals to rape him with. What kind of sick shit do you think of. This isn't super hero this is super villian.

((( “Sai’s perverted side wouldn’t hesitate to take advantage of Naruto’s weakness in order to make him do things that the host would regret later)))___you wrote this. so they know that Sai would (or one of Sai's personality clones) drug and rape naruto against his will-and they still keep him around. And if he has clones of his personalities-what about all the danger his other personality clones could do-depending on what emotion/personality that clone took on. we all have evil in us; so wouldn't one of Sai's personality clones be evil? Sounds like a dangerous person to keep around. So Sasuke has a power that was repressed when he was a child and is now surfacing that he was so frightened. But according to what you've written, he's been frightened, scared, beat up on, almost killed, hated for years. Why wouldn't his alter-personality come to his rescue sooner. Giving Naruto an evil brother- that looks like Naruto; but Itachi doesn't want him. Itachi is evil, what makes him think he could possess something as good as Naruto and not be good to deserve it. You've introduced more characters but they just bring up more questions. Have a feeling this story won't be finished. It's too big_you're bringing in too many incidents, side characters, characters with clones, evil brothers, evil parents, evil school mates, Sasuke's past locked away, etc...And you had Sasuke's parents tell the good person doctor who locked his powers away that Sasuke would be pitiful and wothless and whatever mean things parents shouldn't be saying about their children. Right there in the super hero building in front of the super hero doctor. Nobody took these parents aside and smacked them. No one looked out for Sasuke's well being knowing how his family were now disgusted by him. They didn't take him away from them so he could live a normal life. So many things that don't make sense. Maybe this isn't a hero organization--maybe just Naruto is good-maybe the rest are bad. You don't make it sound like a hero organization so far.

...Ok.. up through chapter six I was loving the story. But now youre switching back and forth and its both confusing and slightly annoying.
I think youre jumpin back and forth too quickly. And not elaborating enough about whats going on. Plot twists are being introduced one after another and I feel like Im being whiplashed.
This story does have excellent potential however. Thats why Im leaving a critique and not a typical "OMG I love this" or "OMG this story is a total train wreck.' Just tone down some things and beef up others.
I look forward to reading more of this story in the future.

This story's really good! I like that Naruto and Kyyubi are separated, I always thought that Kyyubi deserved his own body. Please let him get with Itachi, and not be too evil. (I think he's too cute for that.)

Good so far, keep going. I want to know what happens next.

i really enjoyed reading your story! i hope you'll update soon!! Did someone bind sasuke's powers, or what? Itachi really had it rough when they were little, it makes sense that he seeks revenge now (thus turning naruto's attention toward his young brother) That chapter explained a lot and it is really interesting to see how sasuke's split personnality and powers develop and how will naruto deal with it?
I can't wait to read more!
See ya!

i cannot believe that they will do that to a child, hope to see more soon