rate_review Reviews

Hey, I started reading your fanfic and it sounds so interesting. Sasuke is right, Naruto is kawaii. I'm glad someone made a fanfic like this (been thinking of making one with the cute ears and tail) but never had the time. Please update soon. I'll bookmarking this

So Sasuke has a crush on Neji but he is starting to think about Naruto. I wonder why he never really noticed him before he heard those girls talking about how cute Naruto was. Well you did mention that he was attracted to him when he first met him, but I mean he didn't really pay much attention to him until then. Could it be because he thought he had a thing for Neji?

Hmm, I must say, I'm glad that he isn't going to be with Neji because I just can't seem to see those two together. To me that is way to boring. Not that I have any thing against Neji at all.

And well Naruto it seems always had a thing for Sasuke. I look forward to those two getting together. Will this have a timeskip or will they be together at their age now?

I really like this, and I look forward to your next update.

Awww, Naru-chan gets shy with Uchiha! LOL, slamming the door on his did get a good reaction from him! Keep it up!

Yup you would be right I am the infamous yuri beta that somehow got suckered into becoming a temp writer. I am really liking it so far but don't forget your other stories

Sorry about my last comment. Its not a bad fic.

Ah, so cute! Poor little stunned Naruto. I wouldn't be able to look away from a half dressed Sasuke either. In fact, I dare anyone to try. ;)

Awww you are such an angel
you didn't have to do that,I greatly appreciate it ^_^
This story is so adorable I'm excited for the next chapters
I just love how Naruto and Sasuke act around eachother
It's absolutely the best and with your creative unique style, it just makes me crave for more
Keep up the awesome work angel you're doing an awesome job
and remember never give up, especially with the talent you have
you can go very far and I see a bright future for you =) (Lots of cookies filled with love for you)
Look forward to the next chapter
Ja'ne
oh and what is it you would like for us to vote on? ^_^^_^

That was so beautiful, poignant really.

I loved this last chapter. I love how you're developing the Gaara/Neji attraction bit by bit. I love Sasuke being Sasuke, the king of denial. I loved the last line.

I can't wait for more. Lovely!

First, you shouldn't demand reviews for you to post a new chapter. It makes people think that you only write for the reviews and nothing else. You usually get very few actual reviews that will help you improve your writing or offer suggestions.

Second, it really throws off the flow of the story to have the inserts of things like umbrella-ella-ella-ey-ey-ey and the over exaggeration of Hinata's stutter. You don't want to be grouped with those humor fics or one of those 'randomness' stories that are so prevalent on fanfiction.net.

This story does have potential, but you should really think about cutting down on the playfulness if you really want your work to be taken seriously. One thing you may consider is just finding someone to bounce ideas off of to make sure that the story flows or outline what you want to happen in the chapter, maybe a few things that you want a character to say and then go from there.

Seriously, I'm not trying to be mean, but as I said, this story has a lot of potential and its even greater that you're making this mpreg because they have the potential to be filled with warm fuzzy moments and just overall cuteness. Please, just consider it. If you want a good mpreg to check out just to see if that helps you develop your flow, you should read 'Below Zero' by Trollmia or the unfinished story called 'Self Reliance' by Imbrium Iridum.

Also, if you do really long lines of ~~~~~~~~~~~~, it makes the reader have to scroll left to right in order to read it because aff doesn't seem have a limit to how many characters you use continuously across a page. Just go back and cut your dividers in half to give the readers eyes an easier time.