rate_review Reviews

When in doubt always and I mean always go with the smut. Writing lemons is an excellent stress reliever and oddly enough can often clear up writers block. Plus they're fun to write and even more fun to proofread XD

~shai~

SEX SCENE!!!

Isn't the next natural step the orgy? Lots of swapping would be nice. +o+ I'm sure whatever you come up with, it will be fun!

this story is a bit OOC but interesting...gaara/lee ex scene ^__^

haven't read the second chap yet, but i notice you heeded the advice and this is a MUCH MUCH better first chapter. In fact i didnt even realise i had read it before till i saw my own review. what a difference. couple grammatical errors but thinking on how far you've come i'll let it go :)

Good story. I love that Haku and Zabuza are in it. I know they died in the manga, but I love to see them alive in fanfiction. ;P There are a couple spelling errors, but that happens to all of us. You just have to reread it a couple times to remove most of them. The lemon was done well. A couple things were a little far fetched but that not always a bad thing. The more you write and read the stories here the more you learn and develop your own writing style. I had read stories from this site for about 4 or 5 months before I even thought of writing one. Even some of my own work could use a tune up. It just something you learn over time. Well, great start anyway. Keep on reading and writing.
=)

P.S. Thanks for the review on 'Of tricks and treats' ;)

better, better this way! THIS is a good chapter. I'm glad you chose to follow the suggestion some of your reviewers gave you, now the story has a point and there is something to wait for.

you made a good work in editing. just one thing... don't you think sasuke giving naruto a blowjob under the water was a little weird? I mean... or naruto is a very quick shot, or sasuke has titanium lungs XD to stay submerged the whole time! but then again, this is fanfiction.

so, good work.

Sometimes writng your first story can be difficult but I think your getting the hang of it. The chapter turned out fairly well, keep it up.

This fic is starting to develope. I re-read the edited version and it has potential. Keep it up with adding details.