schedule
July 26, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Very happy you updated, it has been forever. Glad you are back and I loved the chapter. Please update soon.
schedule
May 12, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Hi there :)
Wow am gutted at the abruptness with which you left this esp considering the layering. Was in a flimsy mood and just rifling through hoping for something to grab my interest and from the first paragraph you did that.
The brat three dimensional and all her own person. The relationship between Sasuke and Naruto had development. Really you spent a lot of time backgrounding this piece and it consumed me... just really hope you get back into this because you've already laid all the groundwork.
Hope all is well with you :)
Cheers,
A
Wow am gutted at the abruptness with which you left this esp considering the layering. Was in a flimsy mood and just rifling through hoping for something to grab my interest and from the first paragraph you did that.
The brat three dimensional and all her own person. The relationship between Sasuke and Naruto had development. Really you spent a lot of time backgrounding this piece and it consumed me... just really hope you get back into this because you've already laid all the groundwork.
Hope all is well with you :)
Cheers,
A
schedule
December 17, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Listen, I LOVE this story. And I really like where this plotline is heading. But come on, how long has it been since there has been a chapter? If you're busy or caught up with personal life, that's fine, just drop an author's note saying that. You menitoned in your own description how there are stories that you keep coming back to and check regularly in hopes that they will be updated - this is that story for me. I hope that you receive this email in good health, etc, happy holidays, and please please please write something :(
schedule
April 15, 2008 at 12:00 AM
ah! You must update.. and I want to know when Naruto gets pregnant.
Please update soon!
I do love this story
Please update soon!
I do love this story
schedule
April 15, 2008 at 12:00 AM
like the story, but how get the name for it?
schedule
April 14, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Guessing by your profile page, you are more the reader than the writer type, yes? I think that reflects in a writer's works also and you are no different. I've done the same things myself and that's what keeps me (almost) firmly in that camp.
For someone who hates to write, I think you're doing a good job. "Slow Dancing in a Burning Room" is the first of your stories I've read but I'm willing to look into your others. You have a good vocabulary and grammatically, you trump about 90% of AFF.net's other authors. That just earned you massive points.
Despite the clichéd plot line, you have enough originality to keep it afloat. I'm a firm believer that anything can be written as long as it is written well. Aside from that, MPreg in any form tickles my fangirl bone. Bless you for broaching that genre.
I admit you started out very stilted in your writing. Pulling back to what I said originally, that's something most reader cum writers do--so fed up with poorly written fiction, they overcompensate in their own writing. I'm happy to say that you're loosening up and finding your style. Keep it up!
Mpreg stories such as this require OCs, unfortunately, and I'm afraid you're walking a very dangerous line with yours. Haruhi smells a bit like a Mary Sue what with her love of books and abnormal intelligence and beauty and whatnot. Keep in mind she's a seven year old little girl. Any child produced by those two super-nin is going to be special but not *that* special. I'd like to love her, but right now I'm leery.
Concerning your worry about smut scenes, don't sweat it. I think you're doing fine with this one. Writing Kyuubi!Naruto effectively is hard, and I think you made him a bit mellow but understandable considering the tenuous relationship between Sasuke and him. Any sex scene between them at this stage of the series is going to be both awkward and hot. I enjoyed your depiction of Sasuke in this scene because I can’t imagine him pushing Naruto away when he’s discovering sex for the first time himself. Naruto’s involvement was a bit confusing to me though. Where did Kyuubi end and Naruto start? It was a bit sketchy in some parts, although I know it won’t be terribly clear because it was in Sasuke’s POV at that point. NaruSasu rocks, by the way. Not many people understand that relationship dynamic. Also, I'm very curious how Haruhi is going to be conceived, seeing how your last chapter ended with the nontypical sex partner arrangement. Points for originality.
Excuse me if I sound negative--I'm not trying to be. I believe you're doing a good job and I imagine with more practice you're going to produce some fantastic stuff. Just don't let it dwindle. Keep writing and evolving. So many decent authors lose interest and their potential is wasted. Shift your reader mindset to a writer mindset and keep going. I'm rooting for you!
For someone who hates to write, I think you're doing a good job. "Slow Dancing in a Burning Room" is the first of your stories I've read but I'm willing to look into your others. You have a good vocabulary and grammatically, you trump about 90% of AFF.net's other authors. That just earned you massive points.
Despite the clichéd plot line, you have enough originality to keep it afloat. I'm a firm believer that anything can be written as long as it is written well. Aside from that, MPreg in any form tickles my fangirl bone. Bless you for broaching that genre.
I admit you started out very stilted in your writing. Pulling back to what I said originally, that's something most reader cum writers do--so fed up with poorly written fiction, they overcompensate in their own writing. I'm happy to say that you're loosening up and finding your style. Keep it up!
Mpreg stories such as this require OCs, unfortunately, and I'm afraid you're walking a very dangerous line with yours. Haruhi smells a bit like a Mary Sue what with her love of books and abnormal intelligence and beauty and whatnot. Keep in mind she's a seven year old little girl. Any child produced by those two super-nin is going to be special but not *that* special. I'd like to love her, but right now I'm leery.
Concerning your worry about smut scenes, don't sweat it. I think you're doing fine with this one. Writing Kyuubi!Naruto effectively is hard, and I think you made him a bit mellow but understandable considering the tenuous relationship between Sasuke and him. Any sex scene between them at this stage of the series is going to be both awkward and hot. I enjoyed your depiction of Sasuke in this scene because I can’t imagine him pushing Naruto away when he’s discovering sex for the first time himself. Naruto’s involvement was a bit confusing to me though. Where did Kyuubi end and Naruto start? It was a bit sketchy in some parts, although I know it won’t be terribly clear because it was in Sasuke’s POV at that point. NaruSasu rocks, by the way. Not many people understand that relationship dynamic. Also, I'm very curious how Haruhi is going to be conceived, seeing how your last chapter ended with the nontypical sex partner arrangement. Points for originality.
Excuse me if I sound negative--I'm not trying to be. I believe you're doing a good job and I imagine with more practice you're going to produce some fantastic stuff. Just don't let it dwindle. Keep writing and evolving. So many decent authors lose interest and their potential is wasted. Shift your reader mindset to a writer mindset and keep going. I'm rooting for you!
schedule
April 14, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Not bad!
schedule
April 14, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Awesome chapter. I loved the flashback. I can't wait to see what happens next.
=)
=)
schedule
April 13, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Yea!!!!! an update!! I'm sooo glad. I really like this fic. But um, doesn't Naruto have to be on the recieving end in order to get preggers.... *smirks* I think this was a really good chapter. I like the confident Naruto and can't wait for more. I know just how hard it can be to write sometimes. Thanks for putting in the effert.
Slave
Oh, and did I say I can't wait for more???
Slave
Oh, and did I say I can't wait for more???
schedule
April 13, 2008 at 12:00 AM
please update soon this was oh my god good