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February 15, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Interesting. And it is good you made clear your thoughts of who will in and out of the harem.
For the Summons:
Naruto-Foxes (unoriginal? Too bad)
Totally agreed. I also thought toads were... not right somehow.
Hinata: Wolves
Interesting choice. But I think it is a quite good one. Wolves are social cratures, and I think Hinata fits that deffinition most than anyone.
Ino: Phoenix, possibly expanding to include birds of prey.
Birds???? I don't really think that fits Ino's personality. Ino is in my opinion more like a cat. Playful, but can be also extremely stubborn.
Tenten: Dragons (No Bahamut Zero will not be the boss. What do you think this is, Final Fantasy?)
Here I think you made the right choice again. And I also think it would be wise to make the point clear, that they will be ASIAN dragons. So no western style ones like Bahamut. (If you also play Magic the gathering, maybe the five dragons from the champions of Kamigawa Expansion may give you some Ideas. Kokusho, Yosei, Ryusei, Keiga and Jugan).
Sakura: Slugs (She will become Tsunade’s apprentice.
Hmm. Well, that one is true. She is Tsunades apprentice, and in the fight against Sasori, we saw that she has inherited her Tsunades personallity as well. So slugs seem to be appropiate for her.
Well, after all you are the author of course. See my suggestions only as a little advice.
It is your story in the end. But I really think you should rethink your choice for Ino somewhat.
For the Summons:
Naruto-Foxes (unoriginal? Too bad)
Totally agreed. I also thought toads were... not right somehow.
Hinata: Wolves
Interesting choice. But I think it is a quite good one. Wolves are social cratures, and I think Hinata fits that deffinition most than anyone.
Ino: Phoenix, possibly expanding to include birds of prey.
Birds???? I don't really think that fits Ino's personality. Ino is in my opinion more like a cat. Playful, but can be also extremely stubborn.
Tenten: Dragons (No Bahamut Zero will not be the boss. What do you think this is, Final Fantasy?)
Here I think you made the right choice again. And I also think it would be wise to make the point clear, that they will be ASIAN dragons. So no western style ones like Bahamut. (If you also play Magic the gathering, maybe the five dragons from the champions of Kamigawa Expansion may give you some Ideas. Kokusho, Yosei, Ryusei, Keiga and Jugan).
Sakura: Slugs (She will become Tsunade’s apprentice.
Hmm. Well, that one is true. She is Tsunades apprentice, and in the fight against Sasori, we saw that she has inherited her Tsunades personallity as well. So slugs seem to be appropiate for her.
Well, after all you are the author of course. See my suggestions only as a little advice.
It is your story in the end. But I really think you should rethink your choice for Ino somewhat.
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February 15, 2008 at 12:00 AM
To wheathermangohanssj4
Well, here I think you are wrong.
In my opinion the summons have nothing to do with Family training or something like that. That is a thing I totally disliked in the anime. In my opinion, the summons someone can get should be based on someones personality.
Hinata for example sure is shy, that is one reason I suggested a rabbit earlier. But if you look about it, a Wolf fits her also well. Hinata's one and only problem was a lack of self confidence. I think this will be somewhat corrected in this story. Hell, it has even started allready. Naruto seeks to improve that.
Like I said wolves are the most social creatures I know. A wolf pack hold together no matter what. Also wolves are EXTREMELY protective about there offspring. I also think Hinata would do that also for her children.
Also you have to see Japanese mythology in the context. Especially the ones concerning foxes (Kitsune).
So that is also a point, why a Fox makes the better choice for Naruto, not only that he actually is the host for one.
Ino on the other hand is a stubborn person who could also get easily annoyed. But is also a playful one. A personallity that fits a cat in my opinion. (My girlfriend has one, so I know of what I speak).
To Archangel Bloodraven
I am grateful for your story, because you are actually planning you thing, and not make it into an unlogical orgy.
I think a good storyline is far more important than "action" (Well, in both in or out of the bed ^^ ). I'm eager to read more of this. But don't rush things. Take your time if you need to, so that we can see the best you can do.
Domo arigatou gozaimasu for your very hard work.
Well, here I think you are wrong.
In my opinion the summons have nothing to do with Family training or something like that. That is a thing I totally disliked in the anime. In my opinion, the summons someone can get should be based on someones personality.
Hinata for example sure is shy, that is one reason I suggested a rabbit earlier. But if you look about it, a Wolf fits her also well. Hinata's one and only problem was a lack of self confidence. I think this will be somewhat corrected in this story. Hell, it has even started allready. Naruto seeks to improve that.
Like I said wolves are the most social creatures I know. A wolf pack hold together no matter what. Also wolves are EXTREMELY protective about there offspring. I also think Hinata would do that also for her children.
Also you have to see Japanese mythology in the context. Especially the ones concerning foxes (Kitsune).
So that is also a point, why a Fox makes the better choice for Naruto, not only that he actually is the host for one.
Ino on the other hand is a stubborn person who could also get easily annoyed. But is also a playful one. A personallity that fits a cat in my opinion. (My girlfriend has one, so I know of what I speak).
To Archangel Bloodraven
I am grateful for your story, because you are actually planning you thing, and not make it into an unlogical orgy.
I think a good storyline is far more important than "action" (Well, in both in or out of the bed ^^ ). I'm eager to read more of this. But don't rush things. Take your time if you need to, so that we can see the best you can do.
Domo arigatou gozaimasu for your very hard work.
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February 15, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Sorry:
Before I forget it.
Sorry for some of the mistakes I make sometimes. I'm from Germany, so English is not my mother language.
But I hope it is understandable enough for you.
Before I forget it.
Sorry for some of the mistakes I make sometimes. I'm from Germany, so English is not my mother language.
But I hope it is understandable enough for you.
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January 31, 2008 at 12:00 AM
I'll be happy when you get back to this story - it's shaping up to be quite a lark!
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January 30, 2008 at 12:00 AM
yay I love the story sooo far!!! Keep it coming *snickers*
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January 27, 2008 at 12:00 AM
I hope that you will update again soon. Thanks.
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January 26, 2008 at 12:00 AM
wow this story is fantastic please update a.s.a.l.a. = as soon as life allows
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January 22, 2008 at 12:00 AM
congrats you have now forced me to get a membership to this archive just so that I could tell you how much I am looking forward to reading the rest of this story. If you could a short list of other works you have done on other archives would be greatly helpful. Five stars for the first chapter by the way.
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January 21, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Chapter 6 was nice, I can't wait to see the parents' reactions to the team and how things go with them living together.
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January 20, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Hmm. In any other fic, I'd know she'd say yes, but your fic has kept me surprised, and as you said, Hinata's going to be seeing some pros AND cons of her favorite blonde, so she may decline. Considering the things that happened (her running up to him, mumbling something, and fainting, and his little speech), I expect she'll say yes, though probably want to take things very slow. They are 12, after all. I suppose you can work on that other fic if you really need to, though I've no idea where to read it.