rate_review Reviews

nice story longer chapters would be nice though

Hooray. So the story finally goes on.

Thank you very much. Great Idea to teach Hinata the Rasengan. ^^

But I have a question. AGNI AND RUDRA????

I think I know those swords. I hope they don't start talking. ^-

I think you copied the names from Devil May Cry 3, am I right?

Well. I'm waiting till you continue. I apreciate your hard work.

Ah well, sorry for two reviews so fast in a time.

You mentioned you are going to use some Jutsus aka moves from other series.

ANY chance that would include my most favorite Move?

Well, According to my nick, I think you might get the Idea which move I am talking about.

HA DO KEN.

I think for my self, that the Rasengan AND the Ha DO Ken are very similar techniques. Naruto must just to fire the gathered Energy of the Rasengan to create a ranged type Jutsu.

Maybe not like the real Ha do Ken of Ryu, maybe more like the Ko O Ken from Ryo Sakazaki of the King of Fighters series.

Well, it is only an idea, ok, maybe mroe a wish of mine ^^.

It is your story after all. So keep up your good work, or I have to shoot a Shinku Ha Do Ken after you. ^^

the new chpater was interesting, looking forward to the rest,

This is an interesting story and there are a lot of good ideas within it, but it needs some serious editing and grammatical work. The story is also a little stiff. I would have liked to have seen a little more depth into the characters. And the Naruto sex lecture was just plain strange.

Overall, you've done a good job, and with a little development you could have a well written story on your hands. Keep up the good work. ^^

Two quick notes: decide on a tense (past or present) and stay with it, otherwise your readers could get a bit confused. Second, figure out a way to set apart the dialogue from the rest of the story. Doesn't have to be quotation marks persay, but just something different. Don't take this as a jab at you, just some constructive criticism. Best of luck!

Nice update.. So what is going to happen to Sasuke. I know those two want him back in Konoha but what would they put him through before they accept him back completely

the plot is good and i love the pairings but your grammar need work

Well I don't know about the fourth having two kids but who knows.... And if Naruto is one of the fourths kid then who is his mother... If Takamichi's mother passed after having him... The only thing that I didn't like was the sentencing and the way you put words that didn't go together all that well... But keep on writing it is very good.. But I don't think Konohamoru and Hanabi should be doingany of that yet anyways...

Commas and quotation marks are your friends.