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August 13, 2009 at 12:00 AM
wow... i love this totally..
been hooked since the first chapter.. well written...
been hooked since the first chapter.. well written...
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August 13, 2009 at 12:00 AM
next chapter please!!
WHEN when when...
i love the subtle characterization of kakashi you put in where you say he waits till things unfold whereas these two lean towards clean action...nice!
i hope this is enough motivation to get the next chapter up... thanks!
WHEN when when...
i love the subtle characterization of kakashi you put in where you say he waits till things unfold whereas these two lean towards clean action...nice!
i hope this is enough motivation to get the next chapter up... thanks!
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August 3, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Great story! I look forward to the next chapter!
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July 28, 2009 at 12:00 AM
i dont usually read NaruSasuNaru, but your characterization here is perfect!! better than most authors ive read. please keep going. i love what got going on here.
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July 18, 2009 at 12:00 AM
ive been following this story for a while. just thought I'd pop in and say i like it and keep going. :)
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July 14, 2009 at 12:00 AM
oh jeez-- i am lovin that little twist at the end- was not expecting anything like that!! please update soon-- this story is super exciting and im not sure how much longer i can wait! X3
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July 13, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Chapter 14: Nice reasoning, Naruto. ____ I like this line: “I may be okay at chakra recognition, but I’m no expert.” =) ____ “I am not that kind of ninja.” Good line. =D ____ I get the feeling that Sasuke would rather not risk having an innocent hurt if he can help it. He's probably open to alternatives, if there is one that's better. ____ “The teme” has been repeated ... way too many times in a small area. ____ “It was better left un said anyway.” Unsaid should be all one word. ____ D'awwww, that was so sweeeeet. ♥
“He couldn’t really pin point the reason behind what he had just done.” Pinpoint should also be one word. ____ Lol, Sasuke's daydreaming about Naruto. ^^
Heh—she's gotta regain her control, alright. She's probably pissed at herself. ^^ I like this line: “He understood her a little too well.” ____ “It was him who had gone to Naruto, and now it was him who had worsened the situation.” Actually, “he” works better in that sentence. ____ That's better. I like Hayate's gruff leniency. =) ____ Lol: “After this mission, he promised himself he would go stay in the hills for a few days. Anything for some quiet.” And I just bet he'd do it too. But Naruto would probably show up saying, “There you are, I've been looking for you.” Lol.
I'm starting to get a little worried about Neji as well. He's probably okay, just delayed for some reason or other, but still. Can't discount the idea that something's happened to him.
“He hated this kind of weather.” I do too. I'm okay with mist and fog, but not rain. D: ____ Heh—Sasuke doesn't care for frogs. I wonder why he prefers snakes to them. LOL: “'Thank god. Your Uchiha is no fun at all,' the frog complained.” XD “Your Uchiha,” he said. ____ There might be something like a secret passage in the house. Either that, or they've been following a clone of the guy and it led them to the wrong house. ____ Cute, “chakra detectors.” I wonder how those're made. Probably by some type of seal or something. ____ “I’ll get the job done with, and if I don’t, the target will run to the window.” Maybe. ____ “he stopped suddenly, a distant expression crossing his face . The clone had done its job, Sasuke assumed.” Excellent! Love the distant expression! =DDD ____ “We should enter the premises from the side. The clone will dismantle chakra receptors there for the second that we will need to jump the gates.” Oh. I thought the clone had dissipated when Naruto got that “distant expression”. Or did he just use the radio, like Yamato's wood clone did when he was trailing Sai in the manga that time? ____ Aww, that was sweet. =) ____ Lol: “Naruto was the one in heat, not him, for Kami’s sake.” It's called “chemistry,” Sasuke. ♥ ____ Hmmm, this could complicate things.... Then again, Yahiko might be in on something.
It's good! =)
“He couldn’t really pin point the reason behind what he had just done.” Pinpoint should also be one word. ____ Lol, Sasuke's daydreaming about Naruto. ^^
Heh—she's gotta regain her control, alright. She's probably pissed at herself. ^^ I like this line: “He understood her a little too well.” ____ “It was him who had gone to Naruto, and now it was him who had worsened the situation.” Actually, “he” works better in that sentence. ____ That's better. I like Hayate's gruff leniency. =) ____ Lol: “After this mission, he promised himself he would go stay in the hills for a few days. Anything for some quiet.” And I just bet he'd do it too. But Naruto would probably show up saying, “There you are, I've been looking for you.” Lol.
I'm starting to get a little worried about Neji as well. He's probably okay, just delayed for some reason or other, but still. Can't discount the idea that something's happened to him.
“He hated this kind of weather.” I do too. I'm okay with mist and fog, but not rain. D: ____ Heh—Sasuke doesn't care for frogs. I wonder why he prefers snakes to them. LOL: “'Thank god. Your Uchiha is no fun at all,' the frog complained.” XD “Your Uchiha,” he said. ____ There might be something like a secret passage in the house. Either that, or they've been following a clone of the guy and it led them to the wrong house. ____ Cute, “chakra detectors.” I wonder how those're made. Probably by some type of seal or something. ____ “I’ll get the job done with, and if I don’t, the target will run to the window.” Maybe. ____ “he stopped suddenly, a distant expression crossing his face . The clone had done its job, Sasuke assumed.” Excellent! Love the distant expression! =DDD ____ “We should enter the premises from the side. The clone will dismantle chakra receptors there for the second that we will need to jump the gates.” Oh. I thought the clone had dissipated when Naruto got that “distant expression”. Or did he just use the radio, like Yamato's wood clone did when he was trailing Sai in the manga that time? ____ Aww, that was sweet. =) ____ Lol: “Naruto was the one in heat, not him, for Kami’s sake.” It's called “chemistry,” Sasuke. ♥ ____ Hmmm, this could complicate things.... Then again, Yahiko might be in on something.
It's good! =)
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July 12, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Im so glad this chapter focused on their relationship! i made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.
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July 12, 2009 at 12:00 AM
uh oh.. things just got complicated! O_O
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July 12, 2009 at 12:00 AM
ILU2! Nice chapter! I enjoyed the fluff! I'm glad Sasuke's coming in terms with his feelings. I have no life you know. I read your fic again. From the freaking begging. Nice cliffy in the end. I totally didn't see that coming. The reason this review is so choppy because I wrote you a looooooong review two seconds ago and this friggin site didn't let me post it coz I did not type in the 'identification' words, You know those tests, where you forget your password and they show you distorted words and you have to type it in correctly to log in the second time? Blah, so yeah, while I was reading this story again, I was thinking: 'Isn't Naruto being too in control of his heat. If he's in heat, isn't he supposed to lose it like, any freaking moment and jump Sasuke?' But towards the end, I understood though. Naruto's putting Sasuke's feelings before his own. He doesn't want to force his will on Sasuke. He want's their love to be real. Ah, he's such a sweetheart. I love it! Good luck with the next chapter!