rate_review Reviews

Man Hiashi is asking for his ass to be stomped into the ground a mile deep and 3 tons of hell to be thrown at him... But why was Sakura holding Hanabi up unless her father was beating her like a dog.... I wouldn't stand for someone to beat my girlfriend or wife whoever did it will be in worse shape then her... Hope you update soon....

Great chapter update soon.

You want CC? Your grammar is very well maintained, yet you combine metaphor with slang... if you use slang, try to keep with slang... if you're using metaphor, stick to metaphor... it's not a pussy, it's her sweet sugar walls... it's not a cock, it's a thick-veined marble shaft... get the picture?

Nice story, please continue...

This is good, if a little short considering the plot points you're trying to get across even taking into consideration that it's unfinished. The plot is believable (more so than most, actually), the lemon was good without going into cheesy-bad-hentai territory, and the story overall is well written--though there are a few spelling mistakes, there's nothing there so ungodly annoying that it distracts from the experience. On a side note, when I saw the 'Naru/Hina/Hana' tag I thought to myself "Naruto, Hinata, and Inuzuka Hana? ..No, not worth my time. ...Wait, scratch that, done right this could be almost as amusing as Naru/Hina/Anko." And then I actually read it, seeing Hanabi right off the bat I checked the tag to make sure, then kept reading. I was somewhat disappointed that it wasn't what I had expected, however it more than made up for that. Keep up the good work; finding new stuff that's well written, entertaining, and most of all leaves me feeling better for having read it is the best inspiration for making me want to work on my own stuff.

Uh oh. If that happened to Hanabi what I think that happened to her, than Hiashi should make his last will ready. Because if Naruto get's pissed of, he can be worse than a nuclear strike.

Very good so far and I hope you will update soon.

Well, a thinking:

Sure Jiraiya seems to have died in the fight against Pain.
And for ypur story I think it is the best if we assume that he really had died.

But maybe we will see him again.

So far its a nice story I'm really looking forward to see how all the characters react to what happened to Hanabi. Great Job.

Hiashi is so screwed, Methinks Naruto will level the Hyuuga compound to get to him. I say use a Rasengan to slowly rip off every bit of skin from his body before letting Hinata kill him!

A nice intermediate chapter. I was expecting a little more following the wait, but it's a good start. The grammar was better and there was some good plot development. Update again soon!