AFF Fiction Portal

rate_review Reviews

for The Mechanics of Desire

by UbakeNeko

person Labbess
schedule December 25, 2007 at 12:00 AM
I love you. Now that that's outta the way...

No, I'm kidding. I'm sorry, but when I saw someone with a WELL-WRITTEN KibaHina fic on HERE I nearly fell out of my chair in happiness. Go you. ^_^

Hmm... You're right, it is a bit short. I think there should be a little more foreplay and build up. For instance, Hinata just looks at Kiba and then Shino leaves, and then sex. It's almost too easy. We're talking Kiba here. He's probably been teasing her all day XD

Anyways, awesome stuff.
schedule December 24, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Think this story is really terrific good one!
It's a shame that there isn't enough good fanfics of KibaHina!
schedule December 24, 2007 at 12:00 AM
oooh, that was hot! Great job ^_^
person Ivy
schedule December 24, 2007 at 12:00 AM
I liked your story!!! So I think it would be an interesting premise for a multi-fic. Can't wait to see an update!