rate_review Reviews

I really love this; the whole concept, the character development, the way your writing just flows and nothing unnecessary is said. I also like the idea of both Naruto and Sasuke being ordinary in their body type. That is to say, neither of them is the superior in height or body/muscle mass. Well, it isn't pointed out, anyway. Most fics that I read tend to have one or the other of the boys being taller or superior in some way like that, and it becomes a little redundant after a while.
One thing I do have to criticize though, is the loooonnnggg authors notes at the beginning of each chapter. It gets a bit annoying to scroll through when I'm in the mood to just skip straight to the story.
Otherwise, I really like where this is going, and I've bookmarked it so I can keep up with updates. (I haven't figured out how to put a story on story alert on here, or even if you can. But if I do, I'll be sure to do that.)
But thank you for a lovely read, and I look forward to updates!

I love this story! Please continue! it's been soooo long without an update!! I wanna know what happens next, please???

please don't abandon this story! It's really great and new and creative! I would really love to know more about the curse/enchantmant, charms and spells thing! aren't they all the same though? You've really picked my curiosity with this story! I wanna read more of it!! pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease?

Your story is good. Keep it up.

i love it!! please write more soon im really curius about lots of facts!!!!
just please don't take naruto away from naruto for ever, let him visit, please?

In regards to the last part of your Author’s Note (which I don’t believe is out of date =P)

“Also, I’m hoping that the feeling my style gives is that of butt-rape. So if you don’t feel thoroughly anally violated by my throbbing, stiff penis-y words, then I’m obviously not doing my job well enough.”

You are so cute, am I allowed to cuddle you? If it makes you feel better, I feel thoroughly violated. I love your writing style. It’s pleasant to read, humorous, and serious when it needs to be. You’re entertaining. So I think that means you are doing your job. And like you mentioned before, fanfics are for fun, so as long as you are happy with what you are doing with your writing what does it matter?

You also have long ass chapters. I love long ass chapters. It makes the wait between updates seem less torturous. ^_^

I wanted to take a writing class (fiction) this semester… lol but we ran out of monies xD (well.. I did) so I’ll have to find time for it later =( right now I gotta find a job so I can pay for all my damn expensive art supplies X_X *falls on knees with arms outstretched towards the heavens * Copic markers… why must thou cost so much!!! *collapses *

Lol anywho! Back to the review!

I love Sasuke’s and Naruto’s interaction with one another. Whatever happens to them when they touch is intense! I like it! I want more of it!! I am thoroughly enjoying the whole bridging the gap Sasuke was attempting to do in this chapter, seems it paid off at the very end when Naruto let him in =) That made me smile, lol imam such a softie ^.^ I feel sorry for Iruka and Shikamaru = ( They gotta deal with such a troublesome Naruto =)

Mouth-Molester, three-armed-gypsy-fuck, you don’t need a thesaurus! Your original words are freaking awesome! I laughed at several parts in this story. You’re a funny person, did you know that? And funny in a good way. I could ramble on more, I gotta read chapter 3 and leave a review for that one too xD

Fave Line in Chp 2:

“On instinct, his hands flung up to shield his face from an imaginary onslaught on his limbs and his lips released a rather high-pitched and just flat-out unmanly scream.” - Curse those unmanly screams xD

if you feel the need to write that TON of extraneous information lol it's up to you. doesnt bother me in the least, all one has do do is skip to the parts that involve naruto and sasuke. i sup if later on it turns out those other parts were important i can always go back but for now its too long winded for me to bother. With respect to the parts i do read, i like the angle of the story. want to see where it goes :)

cant wait till the next ch

I love it, I just absolutely love it!

This story so far is definitely interesting and has a well-thought out and intricate plot. I adore your writing style and your story makes everything feel so deep and surreal. I love it.

I can't wait for the next update and wonderful job :)

Your review responses are fantastic. The story too, of course.

I have a feeling Kang owns more than one copy of Strunk & White's "Elements of Style" grammar guide. Sure some of your descriptions are a little over the top, but I feel that (while not the best choice at times) they add to fantasy aspect of the plot (I'm sure Kang would be on my ass for using such an unspecific word as 'aspect'; he/she seems like that kind of critic). Because you have sort of a magical feel to your story, it seems fitting that you incorporate less concrete adjectives and descriptions. Necessary, even. If you had written it otherwise, it would have seemed like one of those bad vampire/monster action/romance movies adapted to a modern age that are just so banal in my opinion. Many authors have slight differences in literary style when they draft up different stories. Take Mark Twain for example. The Adventures of Tom Sawyer compared to the Adventures of Huckleberry Finn? 'nuff said. Each story is unique in its own way, each great author doesn't have to have the same style to be great, not everyone is going to agree on what is good or bad, and no one should be so pretentious and arrogant in a fanfiction review without having examples of their own work to compare with. I'd trust your professors over an unknown adult fiction [anime] fan as well.

And honestly, you have stated that you wrote the story over a year ago, I don't doubt you've changed your writing style. You deserve a fucking medal for your ace comebacks even if you had written a crap story. Which you didn't. I'm very much enjoying this fiction. (the plot didn't attract my attention so much as the way you went about writing the plot. so there you go.)