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March 5, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Chapter 17: Alright! He’s taking off! =) . . . . (*gasp*) “He had thought this would be easy [. . .] but it was not. If he left now, he would not be able to return, and faced with this final decision he was hesitating.” I wonder if that’s what Sasuke was thinking in that scene of him looking at the photograph of his team right before he left Konoha! O.O . . . . Yes! I was right! There is a parallel to when Sasuke left! =D . . . . This is a total echo of Sasuke. . . . Um, when Sakura says “You have to put them aside while you’re on duty,” I dunno, it sounded a little awkward coming from her. o.O . . . . Huh?! Since when has Sakura believed that “Sasuke is a dream?!” o.O . . . . “I don’t want you to throw away your life!” She doesn’t seem to understand that in Naruto’s situation, that would be exactly what he’d be doing if he stays. You know, I really like this chapter! This is bringing out some perspectives that I’ve only vaguely come near but has never been made real clear to me! =D . . . . “Sasuke’s independent spirit, his courage to follow his own path [. . .]” In the manga, I believe some of that was actually Naruto’s influence rubbing off on Sasuke. . . . God, this is sad, how Sakura is just letting him go. ;_;
Hmm, so you think becoming part of the ANBU and witnessing whatever they must go through made Itachi cynical? Very possible. Yeah, totally possible that someone had a bad influence on him. He was 13 years old after all, the pivotal age for a lot of the characters. I used to wonder if there was maybe a good reason for killing the clan, but due to recent developments, I’m not so sure: from here, I’d say he fell in with the wrong crowd and never came out. It is possible for someone to turn evil, and some people do it rather quickly. Also, have you read the series Death Note? That’s got a total sociopath in it with as little empathy as Itachi seems to have. In fact, (*giggle*) he’s even a sociopathic genius! ^^ As for your last paragraph of your A/N, Sasuke has been very perceptive for most of the story, but even he misses stuff. I think that for a while after he realized that Itachi really did kill the family and tortured him (Sasuke), his mind was partially clouded with still missing the brother he once had (or thought he had) and that led to a lot of anger. It was only after the Valley of the End that he was able to accept and realize everything completely for what it was. It’s hard to totally accept someone as evil when part of you still wants him to come back. But he’s more clearheaded since he got the whole picture. (Actually, why don’t you just see my rant on LJ; I go into more detail there, I think. ^_^'')
Hmm, so you think becoming part of the ANBU and witnessing whatever they must go through made Itachi cynical? Very possible. Yeah, totally possible that someone had a bad influence on him. He was 13 years old after all, the pivotal age for a lot of the characters. I used to wonder if there was maybe a good reason for killing the clan, but due to recent developments, I’m not so sure: from here, I’d say he fell in with the wrong crowd and never came out. It is possible for someone to turn evil, and some people do it rather quickly. Also, have you read the series Death Note? That’s got a total sociopath in it with as little empathy as Itachi seems to have. In fact, (*giggle*) he’s even a sociopathic genius! ^^ As for your last paragraph of your A/N, Sasuke has been very perceptive for most of the story, but even he misses stuff. I think that for a while after he realized that Itachi really did kill the family and tortured him (Sasuke), his mind was partially clouded with still missing the brother he once had (or thought he had) and that led to a lot of anger. It was only after the Valley of the End that he was able to accept and realize everything completely for what it was. It’s hard to totally accept someone as evil when part of you still wants him to come back. But he’s more clearheaded since he got the whole picture. (Actually, why don’t you just see my rant on LJ; I go into more detail there, I think. ^_^'')
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March 5, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Chapter 18: Whoa, that one was short! It’s kinda cool.
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March 5, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Chapter 19: “He’s not that cruel.” With Sasuke, it’s hard to say sometimes. :\ . . . . Hmm, so Naruto’s learning how to use charisma, eh? Cool. . . . Beer? Not sake? (I know, I know -- picky, picky. *sweat*) . . . . (*snicker*) Never thought of the countries as having football teams, but if the villages aren’t ninja villages, why not? ^^ . . . . Uh-oh. Gotta watch this guy, he looks suspicious. ¬_¬ . . . . I’m with him when he says Naruto’s a bit too careless. . . . Oh, cool! A friend of Jiraiya’s! . . . maybe. ¬_¬
Oh, I don’t know, I thought it was interesting having a short chapter.
Oh, I don’t know, I thought it was interesting having a short chapter.
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March 4, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Chapter 12: Interesting metaphor of Naruto’s mind. And I like how Kyuubi says he can remember everything. . . . Hmmm, very interesting. He was killed, eh? Hmmm. . . . (Argh, I hate repeating myself, but “interesting” is the best I can do for now. -_-;) Interesting idea about Kyuubi being some type of power without necessary form. . . . WHOA!! “Konoha’s first jinchuuriki?” O.O Good one! . . . . Really good distinction between “respect” and “love.” And I just happen to be reading The Godfather by Mario Puzo in the bookstore. ^^ . . . . Man, this story is awesome! =D . . . . Good line to end with. Although I’m reviewing this after the fact, it probably left everyone reading at the time of the chapter’s publishing something to think about all night.
You don’t like the idea about the founder being evil? I dunno. I always thought: “Look at this clan! They’ve got an awesome bloodline limit, they’re smart, they’re powerful, they’re beautiful/handsome, they’re successful, they’re respected, they’re (blahblahblah) . . . The founder must’ve sold his soul for his family to be this great! And look what’s happened!! The whole clan dead by one heir, who has turned into a psycho killer, except for his brother, who’s followed the path of steroids (aka, Curse Seal XD), abandonment, attempted murder, hell-bent on revenge, etc.! Surely the guy sold his soul and this is the price!” XDD Also, we’re talking about the Uchiha clan here; complications are standard packaging. XD And we still don’t know why he’s “immortal.”
IN RESPONSE TO YOUR RESPONSE TO SPOON: Tobi’s offer? Was that something in the manga, or was that in your story? I don’t remember. (*sweat*)
You don’t like the idea about the founder being evil? I dunno. I always thought: “Look at this clan! They’ve got an awesome bloodline limit, they’re smart, they’re powerful, they’re beautiful/handsome, they’re successful, they’re respected, they’re (blahblahblah) . . . The founder must’ve sold his soul for his family to be this great! And look what’s happened!! The whole clan dead by one heir, who has turned into a psycho killer, except for his brother, who’s followed the path of steroids (aka, Curse Seal XD), abandonment, attempted murder, hell-bent on revenge, etc.! Surely the guy sold his soul and this is the price!” XDD Also, we’re talking about the Uchiha clan here; complications are standard packaging. XD And we still don’t know why he’s “immortal.”
IN RESPONSE TO YOUR RESPONSE TO SPOON: Tobi’s offer? Was that something in the manga, or was that in your story? I don’t remember. (*sweat*)
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March 4, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Chapter 13: Err, little whoopsie: “This is our forth break today.” I think you mean “fourth.” ^^'' . . . . Heh. Love Sasuke’s silence. And then the abrupt, “Break is over.” . . . . Good line: “You can count on that – though I still think that staying away would be the best way not to be noticed.” Yeah, right on. ^^ . . . . “It was only for an hour.” More like an hour and a DAY! XD . . . . Hmm, a little lack of drama when the Kyuubi was revealed. Six tails?!? How the hell is Naruto still alive?! O.O And how the hell did the Kyuubi get out?! O.O . . . . “Karin’s and Juugo’s faces did not show any emotion.” Dang, they’ve got nerves of steel. ô_o . . . . Interesting idea, that the Kyuubi “consisted only of chakra.” . . . . Well, if you’d only come home, Sasuke, maybe he wouldn’t be quite so uptight! õ_o Okay, this is Naruto we’re talking about, but right now Sasuke’s got a major involvement with the Kyuubi coming out. . . . How come he didn’t want to explain that to Naruto? Wouldn’t it make things easier for him if he did? . . . . That’s the quietest change I’ve ever seen Juugo go through. . . . That was funny. “Where’s Itachi?” ^^ . . . . Nice counter: “I have rather wondered why they should have been meant to die.” He’s got a point there. . . . He “tickled” the woman? (*blinks*) Okay. . . . “Fighting two enemies at once was not easy.” You mean two Akatsuki members at once, because you’ve fought WAY more than 2 guys at once while you were training with Orochimaru, Sasuke! XD . . . . Love Sasuke’s sexism. . . . Sudden ending! Is it Juugo, or did Naruto wake up?
Yeah, Itachi’s a raven, but his name also means “weasel,” and considering what he’s done, that’s kind of fitting. ^^ To me, Neji’s a bird, but not a raven. I used to be a strict SasuNaru/NaruSasu reader, but my mold has cracked recently and I’ve been getting more and more curious about other pairings. ^^
Yeah, Itachi’s a raven, but his name also means “weasel,” and considering what he’s done, that’s kind of fitting. ^^ To me, Neji’s a bird, but not a raven. I used to be a strict SasuNaru/NaruSasu reader, but my mold has cracked recently and I’ve been getting more and more curious about other pairings. ^^
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March 4, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Chapter 14: Goody! I want to know Juugo’s story! =D
Hah! Knew it was probably Juugo. ^_^ . . . . “I am not. I have cut all bonds.” So you think, Sasuke. So you think. . . . Love this discussion. . . . Really, Suigetsu. When have you bonded with Juugo? (*amused*) . . . . Oh, so that’s why the lack of drama during Juugo’s transformation last chapter. He was probably absorbed in the fight that it snuck up on him. . . . Awww, the little birdie! :heart: . . . . I’m hearing Suigetsu a little better than I did earlier in the story. . . . I like the beginning of Juugo’s story here. And then Sasuke’s reaction. . . . Clever idea. I like it. That Juugo got “intoxicated” and it messed up his body a little. I love scientific/logical explanations. ^_^ . . . . I’m curious about the chain of people who shunted him along and how he eventually wound up with Orochimaru. . . . Whoa. (*stares*) Man. That was a great revelation about Juugo’s family. O.O And I love how it’s affected Sasuke. Not sure if he would really react that way, but you made it work. ^_^ . . . . And yet again, great line to leave off with. I like how you gave readers a few hours to think on each chapter.
Hmm, Kyuubi associated with Konoha. . . . Judging from the manga, maybe he was Madara’s favorite toy.
Hah! Knew it was probably Juugo. ^_^ . . . . “I am not. I have cut all bonds.” So you think, Sasuke. So you think. . . . Love this discussion. . . . Really, Suigetsu. When have you bonded with Juugo? (*amused*) . . . . Oh, so that’s why the lack of drama during Juugo’s transformation last chapter. He was probably absorbed in the fight that it snuck up on him. . . . Awww, the little birdie! :heart: . . . . I’m hearing Suigetsu a little better than I did earlier in the story. . . . I like the beginning of Juugo’s story here. And then Sasuke’s reaction. . . . Clever idea. I like it. That Juugo got “intoxicated” and it messed up his body a little. I love scientific/logical explanations. ^_^ . . . . I’m curious about the chain of people who shunted him along and how he eventually wound up with Orochimaru. . . . Whoa. (*stares*) Man. That was a great revelation about Juugo’s family. O.O And I love how it’s affected Sasuke. Not sure if he would really react that way, but you made it work. ^_^ . . . . And yet again, great line to leave off with. I like how you gave readers a few hours to think on each chapter.
Hmm, Kyuubi associated with Konoha. . . . Judging from the manga, maybe he was Madara’s favorite toy.
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March 4, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Chapter 15: I get the feeling Naruto’s going to be rebuked again by his team(s). ¬_¬ . . . . Love this line: “He’s an Uchiha, born to rule, not to serve.” It adds mystery. And then the idea of him being at his brother’s side. I wonder how that’s going to turn out. . . . I wonder if his team witnessed Sasuke & Team Hebi. . . . Love his half-hearted joke: “I thought you would like me a bit more mature.” Sounds right for the situation. . . . Mother? Why not older sister? . . . . (!) Something I think is kind of interesting: You broke a paragraph between the lines “He had a bit of a bad conscience about it [. . .]” and “Never had his intention [. . .]” I wonder: Was that just for effect (which was good), or is that going to be significant later? Hmm. . . . Whoa, cool line: “Actually I prefer Sasuke. He still has a heart.” Makes me start wondering about Yamato. o.o . . . . Oh, I see. That’s a clever way of putting it. You’ve got catchy lines, stuff that’s quote material. =) . . . . Uh-oh. I have a bad feeling about this. . . . Little slightly off-topic question: Have you read the Harry Potter series? The topic of this conversation reminds me of some of that story. ^_^ . . . . Love this part: “Naruto did not answer. He was on his guard now.” Great emphasis. He’s on his guard against them. . . . Hmm, I would’ve thought Kakashi would be more perceptive than this. Maybe he’s lying to discourage Naruto; he could, you know. . . . Isn’t Kakashi wondering why Naruto knows this about the Shodaime? I mean, he probably can guess how Naruto found out, but wouldn’t that make him a little worried? And I wonder if Yamato and Kakashi know who Naruto’s parents are and are just covering up.
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March 4, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Chapter 16: Love the title. ^^
Yeah, he’s not lingering because he feels guilty, I bet. . . . Yeah, Naruto had a single-minded purpose at the Valley, and it was backed by demonic power, probably making it more single-minded. . . . Um, little language suggestion (sorry about this): “He had been able to put two plus two together.” It’s no big thing, but we usually “put two and two together.” Sorry, I just had to say it. But the meaning is exactly the same. ^_^'' . . . . “[. . .] or whatever the real purpose to this massacre was.” So he thought something was missing when Itachi told him his reason, eh? That’s cool. So did I at the time. I didn’t know what it was, but the explanation “To test the limits of my capacity” seemed a little . . . incomplete. . . . There’s that old line I’ve heard in at least 2 or 3 places, though I can only remember one: “Sometimes for the greater good, sacrifices must be made.” . . . . Right-on when you say Sasuke will become a leader in war! =D . . . . Is that what Orochimaru really thought? I guess it’s possible, but for some reason, I doubt it. :\ But you’re totally right about the Akatsuki believing themselves to be good guys, though maybe not all of them; some of them seemed to just love the thrill of wild danger (Deidara maybe -- and he was kind of threatened to join anyway). . . . Oooh!! “I don’t consider myself one of the good guys. I have no ambition to be a hero and sacrifice myself for some people I hardly know.” That’s the perfect definition of the antihero!! =DDD
In my opinion, Sasuke doesn’t kill if he can avoid it. I think he would kill if he absolutely had to, if he saw no other option, but he goes out of his way to avoid it. My mother says, “He’s trying to end this thing with his brother. He doesn’t want to start anything in the process.” Which made total sense to me.
Yeah, he’s not lingering because he feels guilty, I bet. . . . Yeah, Naruto had a single-minded purpose at the Valley, and it was backed by demonic power, probably making it more single-minded. . . . Um, little language suggestion (sorry about this): “He had been able to put two plus two together.” It’s no big thing, but we usually “put two and two together.” Sorry, I just had to say it. But the meaning is exactly the same. ^_^'' . . . . “[. . .] or whatever the real purpose to this massacre was.” So he thought something was missing when Itachi told him his reason, eh? That’s cool. So did I at the time. I didn’t know what it was, but the explanation “To test the limits of my capacity” seemed a little . . . incomplete. . . . There’s that old line I’ve heard in at least 2 or 3 places, though I can only remember one: “Sometimes for the greater good, sacrifices must be made.” . . . . Right-on when you say Sasuke will become a leader in war! =D . . . . Is that what Orochimaru really thought? I guess it’s possible, but for some reason, I doubt it. :\ But you’re totally right about the Akatsuki believing themselves to be good guys, though maybe not all of them; some of them seemed to just love the thrill of wild danger (Deidara maybe -- and he was kind of threatened to join anyway). . . . Oooh!! “I don’t consider myself one of the good guys. I have no ambition to be a hero and sacrifice myself for some people I hardly know.” That’s the perfect definition of the antihero!! =DDD
In my opinion, Sasuke doesn’t kill if he can avoid it. I think he would kill if he absolutely had to, if he saw no other option, but he goes out of his way to avoid it. My mother says, “He’s trying to end this thing with his brother. He doesn’t want to start anything in the process.” Which made total sense to me.
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February 29, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Chapter 11: Really like the title. . . . I like the insight of Naruto’s thoughts on Sasuke. . . . Okay, I like how it suddenly cut Naruto off from everyone else, but then you went right into “changed form.” No drama. :\ . . . . “Things had gone really bad.” (*cough*understatement*ahem*) XD . . . . Interesting deal. . . . “Vis-a-vis?” What’s that? . . . . I wonder how honest this man is being. He’s got to be pretty powerful, though; if he’s convinced other people to work for the Akatsuki like this, he’s got to have some backup. . . . Good ending. I wonder what Naruto’s decision will be.
To the A/N: You’ve got a good point there. It’s easy to get caught up with Naruto being a fox and Sasuke being a raven in fanfiction. I’ve always been kind of iffy about Sasuke being a raven; I would’ve gone with a raptor of some type. But since then, he’s been showing a major affinity to snakes, and Tobi/Madara said something about, “Will he stay a snake or become a raven?” or something like that. So just for fun, I combined the two -- feathered/winged serpent! ^^ . . . . (*snicker*) “And I had not thought that the final confrontation between Sasuke and Itachi would come so soon.” Soon to you, maybe, but I’ve been waiting for a freakin’ YEAR! >D
To the A/N: You’ve got a good point there. It’s easy to get caught up with Naruto being a fox and Sasuke being a raven in fanfiction. I’ve always been kind of iffy about Sasuke being a raven; I would’ve gone with a raptor of some type. But since then, he’s been showing a major affinity to snakes, and Tobi/Madara said something about, “Will he stay a snake or become a raven?” or something like that. So just for fun, I combined the two -- feathered/winged serpent! ^^ . . . . (*snicker*) “And I had not thought that the final confrontation between Sasuke and Itachi would come so soon.” Soon to you, maybe, but I’ve been waiting for a freakin’ YEAR! >D
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February 28, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Chapter 8: I like this opening. . . . I like the topic of this conversation. . . . “[. . .] and how he gets upset every time I use my Sexy no Jutsu.” I thought Jiraiya liked it. õ_ô . . . That’s a great take on Kakashi. About him kind of hoping to find love someday. It actually kind of fits him when you wrote it. . . . I like the real purpose. I also read in between the lines a little bit: “The council wanted you to be far away from Konoha, but they do care about you. They wanted to give you the best protection from Akatsuki and the Kyuubi you could get.” Reading in between the lines, I would say that the “best protection” was probably more for the sake of Akatsuki not getting the Kyuubi, not necessarily Akatsuki not getting Naruto. I mean, they probably don’t hate him like some of the other villagers do (¬_¬), but they’re probably wary and don’t trust him, and are just keeping an eye on demon if not Naruto himself. . . . Excellent point and phrase: “Of all those he had talked to that evening, the Nine-Tails had been the most understanding.” . . . . Love how shaken he feels.