rate_review Reviews

Chapter 9: LOL, “Ten days ago [. . .]” Yeah, as I was reading the first line of the story, I was thinking, “Uh-oh.” ^^ . . . . Hmm, with Ino I don’t recall Sasuke ever telling her to back off, so that’s probably why she kept at it; Sakura would back off for a while when Sasuke told her to, but she’d make another attempt at a later date; Karin just seems to take every opportunity. I also get the feeling that even if Ino did accept that Sasuke is not and will never be interested in her (in my opinion), she’d probably still jump him just to bug him. >D . . . . It’s called “social grace,” Sasuke (I think). And no, the girls may not have much of it either, but I think if you sat down and talked to them about why you’re saying no, then maybe it’ll make an impression. I know, I know it’s not your thing to share stuff like that, but that’s what they mean when they say you don’t have any. ^_^; . . . . “He even got the impression [. . .]” Well, duh! Who wouldn’t? XD . . . . “Fighting machine.” Good description. That seriously explains the Mangekyou, which I’ve speculated about all last year. . . . I notice this whole story is pretty dark. Not the worst I’ve read, but very serious. This isn’t gonna turn into Angst, is it? ó_ò . . . . Oh, Sasuke, that’s not nice! You’re telling Naruto’s secret! Okay, it’s not totally a secret, but it’s not your place to tell! õ_õ . . . . “It assisted with the foundation of the village?” Huh. Never thought of that. . . . Yeah, Suigetsu’s shrewd that way; not always, but he’s pretty good when it comes to people. ^_^ . . . . I’m wondering: Is Juugo going to be more active in this story? I like him. :) . . . . I like the story about the bargains with demons. 30s or 40s seems kind of late to me, though. But I guess it works. . . . I always love it when people say, “But it’s just a story.” It makes you wonder how much of it was truth and how much was fiction. Ever read the manga Ayashi no Ceres (the English title is CERES: Celestial Legend)? It covers something like that; it’s one of my favorite mangas. ^_^ :heart: . . . . Love the insecure question at the end of this chapter. But Sasuke’s taking some stuff for granted. He might not live past his battle with his brother, and how would he help Naruto then? Also, we don’t know how long it might take for Sasuke to defeat his brother if he lives; it doesn’t seem likely, but it could take years. Leaving less time to help Naruto.

Chapter 10: TO THE REVIEW RESPONSE IN THIS CHAPTER: I didn’t mention it last review, but I like Kakashi too; he’s one of my favorites. However, in fanfiction, I have a hard time liking him when it comes to risque or some adult situations. Unless he’s giving advice on the subject like a parent or as a reliable source (without weird details). So I really liked him in that scene.
(*snicker*) Obviously, Naruto and I are of the same oppinion: We both like Jiraiya very much, but Sasuke comes first. Even in a life-and-death situation. . . . I think the fox healing Naruto isn’t something he can use, really. I think it’s just something that happens whether he likes it or not, like a bodily function. . . . The raven. Great, more bad news. -_- . . . . I thought Naruto hadn’t gotten the hang of telling crows and ravens apart. ô_o . . . . The ravens attacked him? I don’t remember that. Or was that added? . . . . Wait. What about Henge? Isn’t that a ninjutsu technique of changing form? And I thought Sakura’s protests were kind of weak when she said, “There’s never been a ninjutsu like that.” How does she know? We see new stuff all the time! . . . . Sakura seems a little intense in this chapter. . . . Poor guy can’t help it if he’s got ADD. >D . . . . Whoa, not often that Naruto gets angry at Sakura! It makes sense, though.

Chapter 6: Nice dialogue between Sasuke and Suigetsu. . . . It’s interesting hearing the story from Sasuke’s perspective. . . . Love the reaction to “They don’t believe in revenge.” . . . . I like the stories told, but (sorry about this) I thought the one Juugo told seemed a little outrageous. ô_o . . . . Interesting insight about revenge being part of the moral code. But I never thought it had anything to do with the country; I thought it had to do with just the people in the country. But then I suppose they were raised that way, so that works. . . . What did you mean by saying your horror stories were worse than fiction? Does that mean scarier or (sorry) not as good? But inspiration from the newspapers and history books is interesting. If my mother ever wrote fanfiction, she’d probably be the same way; she loves history.

Chapter 7: Like this discussion with Sakura. . . . “For hell’s sake.” Never heard that one, but I like it! . . . . I wonder why they’re going at it so slowly, especially when they know that Sasuke’s eager to kill his brother; he’s not going to stay in one place for very long. If they finish searching one area and move on to the next, Sasuke could’ve moved to a place they’ve just vacated. He’s probably moving faster than they are at any rate, because he’s got a particular destination, whereas Naruto & co. are searching countrysides! . . . . Err, wouldn’t the fact that they’re teenagers make the adults want to supervise? ô_o . . . . Okay, Sakura just said that Jiraiya’s in more immediate danger than Sasuke. How does she know?? . . . . I like the way you melded Naruto’s thoughts after his conversation with Sakura to suddenly being outside the Kyuubi’s cage. Very subtle. . . . (*giggle*) That’s funny: “So what is it this time?” Like he’s a parent or guardian or something. XD . . . . Love his cold logic too about “ripping your own heart out.” ^^ . . . . Huh. Naruto chats with the boys about their romantic problems, eh? Even so, I'm having a slightly hard time seeing them in those moments. It's just hard for me to picture.

Chapter 2: Cute. His thoughts about the flowers. . . . “Telling us off as if we were children,” well, he’s got a point with the way you and Karin snipe at each other, Suigetsu. XD . . . . I like the dialogue and Sasuke’s dilemma. . . . Love how Suigetsu keeps bringing up the word “Leaf,” to get Sasuke to cooperate. . . . “They were the moral of the Leaf [. . .]” I thought you said you weren’t a Leaf, Sasuke. =) . . . . Why the sudden sympathy from Suigetsu? I woulda thought he wouldn’t care that much one way or the other. But maybe I’m wrong. (*shrugs*) . . . . Also, what’s making Sasuke so talkative about his feelings? I can hear him saying the line, “I don’t need any pity. [. . .] my parents’ death.” But then he expanded on it out loud. Seems kind of odd to me. . . . Ahhhh! I see! Okay, now I see why Suigetsu’s sympathetic. He had a good point. . . . Aww, cute.

Chapter 3: Interesting idea about the raven. . . . Interesting story. That’s all I can say, I’m afraid.

Chapter 4: Interesting beginning. (Sorry if I’m repeating myself, but it’s true.) . . . Love Naruto’s frustration. . . . Good point there: He made friends, but he still feels alienated because he is different, whether he likes it or not.

Chapter 5: Good idea about why he’s had so many chakra problems. . . . I dunno, why should he be proud? And pity them, hah! They don’t deserve it. And, err, you’re kind of mixing pride and humility in that paragraph; it doesn’t really mix too well. . . . Is he seeing their concern out of proportion? He thinks they’re scared of them, but he doesn’t know that it’s because they’re worried about their friend? Is that right? . . . . Hinata seems kind of bold. . . . Gosh, Naruto seems pessimistic. . . . Cute about the confusion of crows and ravens. I don’t know either. ^_^' . . . . I never thought of it that way, the kagebunshin not knowing they are only clones.

(I review as I read.)
Chapter 1 Nice beginning. . . . Curious. But why wouldn’t his sharp tone make Karin hurry up? I thought she was eager to please. . . . I like the dialogue. . . . Is Suigetsu the one still talking to him? . . . Good points, but I’m having a hard time hearing Suigetsu saying it. . . . Interesting ending.
Okay, I see what you meant about the language. It’s good, just kind of formal. It might make some characters seem OOC, but I’ll try to overlook that. ^_^

that was freakin awesome! im realy tired right now so i will reviem after i have gotten sleep and my head is properly back on my neck and not spinning off into oblivion