AFF Fiction Portal

rate_review Reviews

for Untouchable

by AdnexasConfatalis

schedule January 29, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Nice, nice, nice ^^ I'm intrigued, even if Sakura is OOC, but who cares? :D Please keep it going.
schedule January 26, 2008 at 12:00 AM
so awesome. You should def continue, I love how sakura notices the reactions in sauske, so cute, so funny. But you should draw it out, make this a longer story becuase this first chappie was def. excellent and i would love for this to develop. Jo
schedule January 26, 2008 at 12:00 AM
WOWOWOWOWOW CAN"T WAIT FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER! AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!
person Lunar84
schedule January 24, 2008 at 12:00 AM
That was a very good start. I love the idea of Sakura being the temptress to Sasuke.

One thing I want to mention. When I first clicked on the story and saw your author's note I noticed there were a few words spelled incorrectly and the punctuation was lacking. The reason I say this is not because I'm picky or trying to be an ass. The reason is, that is the first thing a reader sees when clicking on your story. The first thing that popped in my mind was it was most likely going to be a fic that looked like the author's note. Of course it wasn't. Everything seemed perfect in the actual story. Just letting you know what I thought in case some on else feels the same way and doesn't even give your story a chance. I don't know maybe I'm too picky. ^_^

Sakura is a little OOC, but I LOVE the way you've written her. I also really like the first person point of view as well. Not many people can pull that off. I think you have done a terrific job thus far. Please continue to update when possible.
person roxnroll
schedule January 22, 2008 at 12:00 AM
OOOH! I like it so far. How the mighty have fallen-classic. Can't wait to read more.
Rox