schedule
January 8, 2009 at 12:00 AM
omfg that was awesome............ ^^
schedule
January 23, 2008 at 12:00 AM
That was hot, and I love the kink and Sasuke's exhibitionism (the display window! xD).
It could use some editing, though. You have a few misspellings, missed capitalization, missing punctuation, and tense errors (switching from present to past tense and back intermittently). You might also want to put Naruto's opening poem in italics to help with the flow of pov continuity.
Good job for first time m/m, though. I like the use of the poem, too.
It could use some editing, though. You have a few misspellings, missed capitalization, missing punctuation, and tense errors (switching from present to past tense and back intermittently). You might also want to put Naruto's opening poem in italics to help with the flow of pov continuity.
Good job for first time m/m, though. I like the use of the poem, too.