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December 4, 2008 at 12:00 AM
((( i just want to end the sex and start back in on the plot. *shrugs*)))___There was a plot?
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March 9, 2008 at 12:00 AM
This was great! Is it over, just the one chapter- or will there be more? I hoep so, it seems like things need to be resolved in Sasuke's life(one way or another) especially with ihs parents. I can't wait to read more if you write it!!
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March 8, 2008 at 12:00 AM
lol. nice fic.
as for your comment at the end... i prefer lemons that have some role in the plot myself... (the pure smut ones are old as soon as you've read 2... or if you read enough of the smut with plot then the other ones suck the first time cause there's nothin new, lol) heh. kinda wondering if you are going to write another chpater to this, but then that would ruin it. still has me laughing with kakashi's last bit lol.
as for your comment at the end... i prefer lemons that have some role in the plot myself... (the pure smut ones are old as soon as you've read 2... or if you read enough of the smut with plot then the other ones suck the first time cause there's nothin new, lol) heh. kinda wondering if you are going to write another chpater to this, but then that would ruin it. still has me laughing with kakashi's last bit lol.
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February 27, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Pretty damn hot. I only wish you'd expand on the plot a little more. You spend so much time establishing the fact that Sasuke feels unloved and has a crappy home life, but there's no emotional closure (God, I'm such a girl). I think the fic would be more consistent if you either cut out the beginning (or just made it more vague) or you established an emotional connection between Naruto and Sasuke by the end. It just feels open ended.
That having been said, I throughly enjoyed this. It was very well written and the descriptions were wonderful (especially in the bathroom... heh *pervy old man laugh*). You're a very skilled writer.
That having been said, I throughly enjoyed this. It was very well written and the descriptions were wonderful (especially in the bathroom... heh *pervy old man laugh*). You're a very skilled writer.
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February 26, 2008 at 12:00 AM
For someone who doesn't like to write lemons that was pretty hot! Please, force yourself. Who ever said the plot can't intertwine with the sex? or that the sex can't be part of the plot? Well begun, please continue. I really am interested to see where this plot goes. I've only ever read a few stories where Sasuke likes it so rough, but I think that plays right in to what kind of life and hurt and self-loathing is consuming him in this fic. I love a strong, confident Naruto, and those aren't all that plentiful, either. Excellent writing!
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February 26, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Hahah, I read this earlier but had to run off before I could review so I came back! I couldn't /not/ review it! That would be a horrible thing to do!
Such a great oneshot! I love it, especially how Naruto had liked Sasuke from afar for a long time that was just too adorable! Nice play with the Haku coming in there :D He doesn't get much attention like that *chuckles* He was a little punk in this though.
Poor Sasuke, just wanted to reach in and slap the hell out of his father. I was all Oo" when Itachi acted all sympathetic and such but it was nice that at least someone felt for Sasuke...even though Itachi didn't do a good job of helping Sasuke if he just gave a few words of sorry or tossed him a pitting look once and again.
I'm glad Sasuke got Naruto! Now his emo-self can be loved, and will stop brooding :P
Your discription of Naruto was fabulous!! You have such a wonderful way of writing, it draws you in but doesn't shock you completely which is what I LOVE. Some people try too hard to make the reader feel like they are thrown right into the scene but you make us drooling bystanders.
Perfect! Thats pretty much all I have to say. Thanks so much for sharing this!
Such a great oneshot! I love it, especially how Naruto had liked Sasuke from afar for a long time that was just too adorable! Nice play with the Haku coming in there :D He doesn't get much attention like that *chuckles* He was a little punk in this though.
Poor Sasuke, just wanted to reach in and slap the hell out of his father. I was all Oo" when Itachi acted all sympathetic and such but it was nice that at least someone felt for Sasuke...even though Itachi didn't do a good job of helping Sasuke if he just gave a few words of sorry or tossed him a pitting look once and again.
I'm glad Sasuke got Naruto! Now his emo-self can be loved, and will stop brooding :P
Your discription of Naruto was fabulous!! You have such a wonderful way of writing, it draws you in but doesn't shock you completely which is what I LOVE. Some people try too hard to make the reader feel like they are thrown right into the scene but you make us drooling bystanders.
Perfect! Thats pretty much all I have to say. Thanks so much for sharing this!
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February 26, 2008 at 12:00 AM
yay! this was awesome!
<3<3<3<3<3<3
<3<3<3<3<3<3
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February 26, 2008 at 12:00 AM
As always, you deliver a wonderful piece of art!! That was certainly a new take on Sasuke's parents. I found myself enjoying it very much! Oh and I laughed so hard when Sasuke said the hanger thing to his mom XD It's wrong on like twenty different levels and I love it!! The smut was flawless and hot! Lol I know this probably wont happen but have you considered Sasuke taking Naruto home to meet his dad?! XD I can just envision that scene!! Completely hilarious!! I'm sure glad Sasuke found someone!! *warm feelings* lmao!! Great great job!!
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February 26, 2008 at 12:00 AM
I loved it!! yes i did.. is this a oneshot?? i hope not.. its sooo sweet, and good and hot. and did i say hot?? yay! *worships you*
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February 26, 2008 at 12:00 AM
oh no.. it is a one shot. *pouts* oh well.. so long as you write some more smutty stories i`ll be ok. ;P