rate_review Reviews

this is a really great story

hope u update it soon

wow this is really great hope u update soon

cart wait to c what happens and I hope the fight agains the sound village and there other enermys are good

great stroy hopeful it will get finsh soon

Not to down on it or anything, I do like the story, (maybe if you would expand the sex scene's a little more, maybe add in something other then just plain old sex, it'd be a little better... Just saying), but you use Seductive, sly and loving tone, waaaaaaaaaaay too much. Seriously, just go through one chapter and look for those words, they pop up everywhere. Go to thesaurus.com or something.

..::(-)::..

I, personally, do not understand how this story is in any way popular. This has to be among the least well-written stories in this section of the website, and yes, I realize that there is a LOT of shit on here. The flow, storyline, and inaccuracies are simply appalling. Not to mention the spelling. If not for the abundant use of lines and phrases taken from the English dub, I would be convinced that you had never spoken the English language before. I will grant that this is an AU, but honestly, I don't remember any universe of Naruto referring to "Chidori" as "Chordi," or "Pakkun" as "Puken." Anyone that considers themselves a fan of this show should be offended at the way it is handled in this story. You should be ashamed of yourself. I strongly recommend that you learn how to write before continuing this travesty.

i have no life you need to back off and or shut the fuck up, I don't know if this is this persons first story but it's good. I agree that the sex scenes need to be worked on a little bit, but all and all this story is solid And for some one who hasn't even posted a story and has only been on the site a short time it's not your place to flame people like that grow up.

And now to the author, your story is very good and has a good plot of to which I fully enjoy. As to the prementioned sex scene I have seen the improvement in your other story and I say good for you. An example I like and that I may add in my own story is where Hinata, who is shy by nature takes control in the bedroom and is more dominate in their lovemaking (And I'm not talking about BDS&M whips, chains and leather" like tying or Handcuffing Naruto to the bed with a blindfold and grinding him like a fresh cup of coffee. I know my girlfriend likes to do that. Have each girl have their own fetish or kink. Have one of the girls get pregnant and have Naruto screw her like that some women get more pleasure when their love fuck them when their knocked up.

All in all these stories are get and need ed to be finished.

Well i certainly think this is interesting and fairly good all things considered which says something you have a decent plot that doesn't defer away from the lemons and can manage a Harem with out making it look really pathetic well anyways i am all for FemHaku but also could you include Shion from the Shippuuden movie and what will you do about the whole Uchiha thing that happened in the recent Manga chaps.

It has been a while, PLEASE UPDATE SOON.

really good fic, when is the next chapter comming out?

Still waiting. PLEASE, PLEASE UPDATE SOON.