schedule
December 18, 2009 at 12:00 AM
It was amazing an i honestly can't wait for the next chapter!!!!!!! ahhh i love this pairing and please fix naruto after tying sasuke to a ceiling fan and turning it on because i really don't want him to kill sasuke and get in trouble and Minato gets in trouble to i would cry i really love your story and your writing is really good and i really really love this pairing!!!!!
schedule
December 17, 2009 at 12:00 AM
oh my god i fing loved it!!!!!! i i you leave me speechless you amazing person you i .....don't disappoint me please!!!!!!!!!!!! and i need a dictionary too lol
schedule
January 16, 2009 at 12:00 AM
did i leave a comment already?? doesn´t matter the chapter is good,very good and if you want eve marvelous.Hate Sasuke´s part though,stupid arrogant prick¬¬ I hope you can update soon and do not leave this story in hiatus for much longer,its amazing ^^
take care
take care
schedule
November 27, 2008 at 12:00 AM
All right, it just came to my attention that I haven't actually reviewed Original Sin AT ALL yet, which is criminal in and of itself. I humbly turn myself in for whatever punishment you deem appropriate. Hopefully, it involves blondes. X3
All right, in order to make up for it, I'm going to give you a big one, so here goes. I have sort of a 10-point scale that I rate fics on when I talk to other people. It's made up of five parts: plot, characterization, lemon(if applicable, of course), element, and readability.
1) Plot: I love it. Granted, like you warned, there wasn't a whole lot in the beginning, but I see it creeping up with the two of them trying to deal with the odd facets of their relationship, and in dealing with the changes of Naruto's seal. Not a huge amount of plot, but good just the same. I actually can't wait to see what Tsunade says about it. And I keep holding my breath and hoping no one finds out, because hell, it's a village full of ninja-even with the Hokage on your side, that's a tough thing to hide, especially with nins like Kakashi and the Inuzukas with super senses of smell and everything. Oh, and if Naruto doesn't kick Sasuke's ass, I will. Just so you know you have a volunteer. Hell, I'll even write a oneshot with my characters going over to your universe and doing it. He's an ass.
*coughcough* But I digress.
2) Characterization: I think you wrote everyone very well. It's a little hard to judge, seeing as it's AU, and we don't really have a base for Minato's personality, but I think you did an excellent job. They're all very believable.
3) Lemon: Oh. Migod. Need I even say it? *DROOOOOOOOOOOOOOL* This fic is one of the three top choices for quick reading before I *ahem* go to bed. For being your first, you sure started off right. Daaaaaaamn. And on a curious personal note, have you had any of those, 'omigodI'mwritingporn!' moments? I still have those... when I was younger, I wanted to be a writer, and now I sort of am, but I'm writing...well, porn. It makes me wonder if Jiraiya ever felt that way after watching Icha Icha be a huge success. Sometimes when I look at the numbers I've wracked up for Bitch Nights . . . I find myself wondering if it's for the porn or the plot. I'm afraid to ask, really...
4) Element: This pertains to what you (the author) is trying to do, a mixture of the pairing and the intent. Like you know how a fic is supposed to be sappy, or angsty or funny or porny or whatever. I'm not really sure how to classify your particular element, or what to call it, but it's addictive. It's got a pairing that many consider odd-something I'm guilty of-or disgusting, but you manage to pull it off admirably well by how well you play Naruto and Minato's emotional reactions. Give Me the Words is just the icing on the cake for that. In any case, you pull it off so well. I'd call you the kakashizgirl of Mina/Naru. And that's probably the highest praise I can give.
5) Readability: Bless you, bless you! You can spell. Or at least use spellcheck. Or use a beta. Whatever you do, it's so damn appreciated, I'm kissing your feet. I've probably passed over a score of really good stories simply because I couldn't read through the errors. You have so few mistakes that I can easily forgive the ones I do see-because after all, no one's perfect. I was re-reading one of my own chapters and had to literally bang my forehead on the desk when I caught one of my own. Something about how the *Uchiha's* were all emo or whatever. Gyah.
Over all, I'd give your scores a 2, 2, 3, 3, 2. That's a 12/10! Congrats! *glomps*
All right, I know you're probably bored of my inane banter, so I'll leave it there until the next chapter. But if you have MSN Messenger, my email's blackwidina@hotmail.com. I'd love to talk Naruto, fics, fanart, whatever you'd like. Or hell, if you just need a fangirl worshipping at your feet, I'm available. Trust me; I've got one, and she is the best thing in the world for when I'm feeling down! I think every author needs one devoted fangirl/boy on her writing staff.
Ja ne!
Blackwidina
All right, in order to make up for it, I'm going to give you a big one, so here goes. I have sort of a 10-point scale that I rate fics on when I talk to other people. It's made up of five parts: plot, characterization, lemon(if applicable, of course), element, and readability.
1) Plot: I love it. Granted, like you warned, there wasn't a whole lot in the beginning, but I see it creeping up with the two of them trying to deal with the odd facets of their relationship, and in dealing with the changes of Naruto's seal. Not a huge amount of plot, but good just the same. I actually can't wait to see what Tsunade says about it. And I keep holding my breath and hoping no one finds out, because hell, it's a village full of ninja-even with the Hokage on your side, that's a tough thing to hide, especially with nins like Kakashi and the Inuzukas with super senses of smell and everything. Oh, and if Naruto doesn't kick Sasuke's ass, I will. Just so you know you have a volunteer. Hell, I'll even write a oneshot with my characters going over to your universe and doing it. He's an ass.
*coughcough* But I digress.
2) Characterization: I think you wrote everyone very well. It's a little hard to judge, seeing as it's AU, and we don't really have a base for Minato's personality, but I think you did an excellent job. They're all very believable.
3) Lemon: Oh. Migod. Need I even say it? *DROOOOOOOOOOOOOOL* This fic is one of the three top choices for quick reading before I *ahem* go to bed. For being your first, you sure started off right. Daaaaaaamn. And on a curious personal note, have you had any of those, 'omigodI'mwritingporn!' moments? I still have those... when I was younger, I wanted to be a writer, and now I sort of am, but I'm writing...well, porn. It makes me wonder if Jiraiya ever felt that way after watching Icha Icha be a huge success. Sometimes when I look at the numbers I've wracked up for Bitch Nights . . . I find myself wondering if it's for the porn or the plot. I'm afraid to ask, really...
4) Element: This pertains to what you (the author) is trying to do, a mixture of the pairing and the intent. Like you know how a fic is supposed to be sappy, or angsty or funny or porny or whatever. I'm not really sure how to classify your particular element, or what to call it, but it's addictive. It's got a pairing that many consider odd-something I'm guilty of-or disgusting, but you manage to pull it off admirably well by how well you play Naruto and Minato's emotional reactions. Give Me the Words is just the icing on the cake for that. In any case, you pull it off so well. I'd call you the kakashizgirl of Mina/Naru. And that's probably the highest praise I can give.
5) Readability: Bless you, bless you! You can spell. Or at least use spellcheck. Or use a beta. Whatever you do, it's so damn appreciated, I'm kissing your feet. I've probably passed over a score of really good stories simply because I couldn't read through the errors. You have so few mistakes that I can easily forgive the ones I do see-because after all, no one's perfect. I was re-reading one of my own chapters and had to literally bang my forehead on the desk when I caught one of my own. Something about how the *Uchiha's* were all emo or whatever. Gyah.
Over all, I'd give your scores a 2, 2, 3, 3, 2. That's a 12/10! Congrats! *glomps*
All right, I know you're probably bored of my inane banter, so I'll leave it there until the next chapter. But if you have MSN Messenger, my email's blackwidina@hotmail.com. I'd love to talk Naruto, fics, fanart, whatever you'd like. Or hell, if you just need a fangirl worshipping at your feet, I'm available. Trust me; I've got one, and she is the best thing in the world for when I'm feeling down! I think every author needs one devoted fangirl/boy on her writing staff.
Ja ne!
Blackwidina
schedule
November 14, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Oh my GOD! Talk about evil cliffhanger! Itachi acted weird with Naruto in one of the last chapters and now Sasuke is acting like a total bastard! Are both Uchiha heirs trying to win Naruto's heart?! Man, Minato's got his work cut out for him! Danger! Over-protective father (and lover!!!) on the prowl!
I can't wait to see the next update!
Take care!
Eternal Cosmos
I can't wait to see the next update!
Take care!
Eternal Cosmos
schedule
November 14, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Ohhhh! Bad Sasuke!
I think Minato's gonna be more than a little upset.
I think Minato's gonna be more than a little upset.
schedule
November 13, 2008 at 12:00 AM
First, I really like this fic. The lemons are hot as hell and the plot is actually pretty good. But that brat did THAT to Naruto! Ooh I wish someone would jsut--permanently ensure he never has kids! Gah, poor Naruto though. Shit, I think if his dad didn't be so worry-worry he would have been jounin and shown that ass up. But well, I love this and I can't wait to read the rest.
schedule
November 13, 2008 at 12:00 AM
My brain is dead. You killed it... You killed it and there is absolutely no chance for revival... -pokes lumpy gray matter-
Okay. First of all, I've never, ever read this pairing before, but the novelty of it trapped me and by the time I'd read the first few paragraphs of chapter one, I was pretty much hooked. You make the characters seem almost real, the feelings they have for each other a perfect blend of familial want and sexual need, that extra spice that turns the forbidden into something that, while still bad in the eyes of the world at large, is more than enough to risk for what can be. The portrayel of Minato's and Naruto's relationship is, to me, spot on, a perfect blend of teasing that one would come to expect from Naruto and, by proxy, his father as well as the sensual seduction, all tinged by the fear of someone finding out and the touch of the dangerous. And now we have the added element of Sasuke, which makes me want to fall off my bed in excitement. I simply cannot -wait- until the next chapter, and if you have a mailing list, I'd love to be added to it. Thanks!
-Direwolflilith, the butterflywithclaws@gmail.com
Okay. First of all, I've never, ever read this pairing before, but the novelty of it trapped me and by the time I'd read the first few paragraphs of chapter one, I was pretty much hooked. You make the characters seem almost real, the feelings they have for each other a perfect blend of familial want and sexual need, that extra spice that turns the forbidden into something that, while still bad in the eyes of the world at large, is more than enough to risk for what can be. The portrayel of Minato's and Naruto's relationship is, to me, spot on, a perfect blend of teasing that one would come to expect from Naruto and, by proxy, his father as well as the sensual seduction, all tinged by the fear of someone finding out and the touch of the dangerous. And now we have the added element of Sasuke, which makes me want to fall off my bed in excitement. I simply cannot -wait- until the next chapter, and if you have a mailing list, I'd love to be added to it. Thanks!
-Direwolflilith, the butterflywithclaws@gmail.com
schedule
November 13, 2008 at 12:00 AM
great chapter. personaly I think he should have broke the uchiha's pretty littel face, sasuke has it coming big time. Itachi isn't half that damn arrogant and he's OLDER!. he's been hanging out with his other family members WAY to much. anyway rant aside. this is the best incest fic I've read. like I said before normaly I don't go that way but this one is good, hope to read more soon.
ja ne!
ja ne!
schedule
November 12, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Oh yes. The update I have been waiting for. I love this story. Simply love it. The intrigue with the Kyuubi seal, Naruto thinking of Minato as "mate", the hot, hot sex--It's all good. ^^ Though it seems like the secretary has figured out the Minanaru love and was objecting in her own way. -_- And now a cliffhanger! I'll have you know I check the 4th Hokage and Naruto character selection every day over on FF.net to see if you've updated Original Sin or the ficlets. Not to put any pressure on you or anything. They're just that good. ^^