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June 9, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Funny and refreshing! Thanks.
schedule
June 9, 2008 at 12:00 AM
I really liked the story and it is just sooooo true!!! I know I have a tendency to skip over some of the 'ick' in my stories, but I do try to keep them as realistic as possible. Cause sex without personality is just porn. lol
Thanks
Slave
Thanks
Slave
schedule
June 9, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Oh that was, terrific. If I may add one, communication makes sex better. Nobody can read your mind, ask for what you want and find out what your partner needs.
schedule
June 9, 2008 at 12:00 AM
That was brilliant! I couldn't agree more with your notes on sex. Lately I nearly stopped reading fanfiction because of the unnatural, polished erotic scenes which are anything but erotic.
I laughed out loud several times, and it was very sexy and so realistic and moving. I love it. Great work! I hope you'll write more, this fandom desperately needs writers like you. Personally I don't like the plot in the latest manga, forcefully making Itachi into a hero, if it wasn't the fanficts like yours I would abandon the manga I'm afraid. So hail, hail awesome fanfiction writers! :)
I laughed out loud several times, and it was very sexy and so realistic and moving. I love it. Great work! I hope you'll write more, this fandom desperately needs writers like you. Personally I don't like the plot in the latest manga, forcefully making Itachi into a hero, if it wasn't the fanficts like yours I would abandon the manga I'm afraid. So hail, hail awesome fanfiction writers! :)
schedule
June 9, 2008 at 12:00 AM
LOL REALLY REALLY good!!!
There are few stories with 'difficult' sex scenes, I only know another one, it's called 'Wolves'.
You are right, sex scenes are somehow too perfect sometimes!
Especially with how CLUMSY and oblivious naruto is, it couldn't be so easy, right!!!
The best part is when Sasuke started laughing!!!
and when he was punching him with the pillow, i was rolling on the floor laughing!
but really I was mortified for poor Naruto!!! He even READ (OMG Naruto can READ?) a book about love... wouldn't happen to be the last icha icha would it?
I hope there will be a chapter 2!!!!
Thanks for this great story!
There are few stories with 'difficult' sex scenes, I only know another one, it's called 'Wolves'.
You are right, sex scenes are somehow too perfect sometimes!
Especially with how CLUMSY and oblivious naruto is, it couldn't be so easy, right!!!
The best part is when Sasuke started laughing!!!
and when he was punching him with the pillow, i was rolling on the floor laughing!
but really I was mortified for poor Naruto!!! He even READ (OMG Naruto can READ?) a book about love... wouldn't happen to be the last icha icha would it?
I hope there will be a chapter 2!!!!
Thanks for this great story!
schedule
June 9, 2008 at 12:00 AM
OKya, first and foremost, wanted to say great fic...but I do have to disagree one point with you.. the whole slobbering like dogs while kissing thing...I have never made out with someone and come away with my chin covered or string of saliva connecting us... I think my stomach would have turned and the make out session ended right there...sorry.. but just the thought of someone drooling all over me like some kind of hound dog turns my stomach
Otherwise I loved the fic and agreed with the points... while a perfect sex scene is nice for the movies.. it rarely ever happens in real life... though those few times it does makes them all the more special.. Keep up the great work!
Otherwise I loved the fic and agreed with the points... while a perfect sex scene is nice for the movies.. it rarely ever happens in real life... though those few times it does makes them all the more special.. Keep up the great work!
schedule
June 9, 2008 at 12:00 AM
I agree one hundred percent.
The trouble is, I think, that it's a lot harder to write realistic sex (particularly with sexually inexperienced characters) and still make it hot, and I reckon a lot of writers take the romance novel path of perfect, simultaneously-orgasming first-time sex for that reason. That being said, fan-fiction is fantasy-land, and for that reason, I at least am willing to accept somewhat less than realistic depictions of sex in it. The perfect fuck is nice to imagine once in a while. Still, it pisses me off no end when, say, virgin Naruto magically becomes the expert lover who can pound Sasuke's ass into pure multi-orgasmic ecstasy on the first try. And I agree that there is way to much shit like that out there, which can destroy otherwise really good fics.
The problem may also be that a lot of fanfic writers haven't actually had that much sexual experience themselves?
Your piece has inspired me to strive for realistic sex scenes in whatever fic I may churn out in the future (and pester my beta no end) and for that alone I am thankful - that your fic itself was also really sweet (yes, precisely, sweet because the sex was far less than perfect) and well-written is a much welcome added bonus :)
The trouble is, I think, that it's a lot harder to write realistic sex (particularly with sexually inexperienced characters) and still make it hot, and I reckon a lot of writers take the romance novel path of perfect, simultaneously-orgasming first-time sex for that reason. That being said, fan-fiction is fantasy-land, and for that reason, I at least am willing to accept somewhat less than realistic depictions of sex in it. The perfect fuck is nice to imagine once in a while. Still, it pisses me off no end when, say, virgin Naruto magically becomes the expert lover who can pound Sasuke's ass into pure multi-orgasmic ecstasy on the first try. And I agree that there is way to much shit like that out there, which can destroy otherwise really good fics.
The problem may also be that a lot of fanfic writers haven't actually had that much sexual experience themselves?
Your piece has inspired me to strive for realistic sex scenes in whatever fic I may churn out in the future (and pester my beta no end) and for that alone I am thankful - that your fic itself was also really sweet (yes, precisely, sweet because the sex was far less than perfect) and well-written is a much welcome added bonus :)
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June 8, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Thank You! For finally shedding some light on the fact that sex isn't the perfect experience that everyone thinks it is. It is just a cliche stereotype that is sometimes true.
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June 8, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Le gasp! Sex is messy? Say it isn't so!! Thanks for this, I was practically crying from laughing so much.
Poor Naruto. Reading a book, certainly a plus, but relying on it to the exclusion of what his partner is telling him, yeah...boy needed to be smacked. Or kicked to the face. Shrugs. Whatever is handy.
Perfect sex scenes don't bother me so much cause it's fanfiction, most people don't like being reminded exactly what the anus is used for, or the various bodily fluids involved. Though the paint-by-numbers scenes get a little annoying and makes me worry that some people honestly might think that sex (especially anal sex) is really as clean and/or easy as sometimes portrayed. What usually freaks me out is the scream from pain, then on next stroke scream for pleasure and pain now gone, I just roll my eyes.
Anyways, nice fic...definitely entertaining.
Poor Naruto. Reading a book, certainly a plus, but relying on it to the exclusion of what his partner is telling him, yeah...boy needed to be smacked. Or kicked to the face. Shrugs. Whatever is handy.
Perfect sex scenes don't bother me so much cause it's fanfiction, most people don't like being reminded exactly what the anus is used for, or the various bodily fluids involved. Though the paint-by-numbers scenes get a little annoying and makes me worry that some people honestly might think that sex (especially anal sex) is really as clean and/or easy as sometimes portrayed. What usually freaks me out is the scream from pain, then on next stroke scream for pleasure and pain now gone, I just roll my eyes.
Anyways, nice fic...definitely entertaining.
schedule
June 8, 2008 at 12:00 AM
I will say I like the 'prefect sex' most the time... just something to read to pass the time, but stories that actually allow for personality and falability in these encounters are more real and therefore more enjoyable.
I found your story interesting, and it actually brought to mind another story I've read recently on this site about Sasuke and Naruto having inexperianced sex. Not sure what it was called, but I think you'd appreciate it because it isn't nice, it isn't perfect but it is 'them'. If that makes any sense.
Enjoyed reading the fic! (as always) and can't wait to read more by you (the both of you that is).
Cheers!
I found your story interesting, and it actually brought to mind another story I've read recently on this site about Sasuke and Naruto having inexperianced sex. Not sure what it was called, but I think you'd appreciate it because it isn't nice, it isn't perfect but it is 'them'. If that makes any sense.
Enjoyed reading the fic! (as always) and can't wait to read more by you (the both of you that is).
Cheers!