rate_review Reviews

Am I bad for wishing Gaara was offering Naruto some head? I blame it on my messed up cues and my love of shipping Naruto with almost anyone. And Jiraiya...oh Jiraiya. That wierd dance he did in the anime is stronger than you writing his balls on the furniture and I'll love him 4evs.

Aww the end about your long distance was sweet! It means that you really liked him :D
I loved the chapter and the phone convo came out great. It was nice how Naruto finally fell asleep.

There'd be no need for jealousy if everyone made one big orgy...joking I blame anime for all of the harem shows making me start to believe that you shouldn't have to pick when all the choices are win. But instead of me scaring you further I must say that even before this chapter for a moment I thought Itachi had gotten into Naruto's apartment when it was really Haku. I guess he won't be happy until he destroys all of his relationships.

Congrats on your anniversary!I'm guessing this chapter was just posted because I found your story on the front page but I'm glad you are still together.

It's real for Sasuke and Naruto to really have hit past a newlywed stage and really have to tackle their issues. I think a lot of people would have took Sasuke's stardom and made a fluffball story so I'm happy that there's strong development.

i love your story but what happened, why did you stop posting. are you ok?

So i'm confused. In the story it says they are juniors becoming seniors but they all don't have cars? And they cant get into rated r movies? is it suppose to be like that?

Ahh i'm addicted and I just can stop readingg!!
Chapter four where naruto was reading his missed text messages was hilarious!
it made my day.(:
i love love lovee this storyy.
bless you for having such a creative mind. :D

This is probably totally random, but I really want more Gaara/Kimimaro!! I mean I love Naruto and Sasuke but I have managed, in the few short scenes with them, to become slightly obsessed. So please, please, please write a little bit of them. Please?

Oh, and by the way, I'm really sorry I didn't review before now. I fully realize that I suck when it comes to that.

Here are a couple of things I think could really improve your fic: (no flame intended, only constructive crit)

1) and this might be a matter of personal preference, but I find the use of random Japanese words in fics quite distracting. Because I read/watch the raws, I also think about the characters in Japanese, so I understand that switching back and forth can be difficult. I'm with you. But I really suggest picking a language and sticking with it.

2) about the suffixes: OK, so suffixes don't bother me so much. They can say a lot about people that we can't translate into English. Like the fact that Naruto calls Hinata, whom he barely knows, "Hinata-chan" That's completely unheard of, no? However, Naruto pretty much only uses them on girls. He's irreverent, remember. Having him call Kiba "Kiba-kun" or "Haku-kun" is girly on him somehow. And my single greatest Naruto-fic pet peeve is a girly Naruto. (Do people who write girly Narutos even watch the show?) *sigh*

and finally:
3) I think you've got too much dialogue. Pick up a novel. You will find that the good ones at least, have about one paragraph of description for one bit of dialogue on each page. Descriptions really make the story. That is where you will find your voice as an author.

Anyway, I hope this helps. Happy writing! I look forward to your updates.