errorYou must be logged in to review this story.
schedule
October 17, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Thanks for updating! I've been waiting for it with eagerness!
I really loved the first chapter, and I loved the second as well. Keep it up! ;P
Naruto is so cute in this fic and I feel so sorry for him, good thing Itachi's there to protect him. I know Itachi's really a genius and all but I find him acting too "old" for a 9 year old, like his speech, he talks as if he were older, the fancy words and all. It doesn't bother me that much, it just sparked my attention. Maybe he's supposed to do that? It doesn't matter, it's great anyway!
I really liked the interaction between Sasuke and Naruto and I hope that they will meet several times. They're both so cute! Kawaii!!
So thanks for making this fic! I can't wait for the next chapter.
Good luck with the writing.
Take care. Hugs
I really loved the first chapter, and I loved the second as well. Keep it up! ;P
Naruto is so cute in this fic and I feel so sorry for him, good thing Itachi's there to protect him. I know Itachi's really a genius and all but I find him acting too "old" for a 9 year old, like his speech, he talks as if he were older, the fancy words and all. It doesn't bother me that much, it just sparked my attention. Maybe he's supposed to do that? It doesn't matter, it's great anyway!
I really liked the interaction between Sasuke and Naruto and I hope that they will meet several times. They're both so cute! Kawaii!!
So thanks for making this fic! I can't wait for the next chapter.
Good luck with the writing.
Take care. Hugs
schedule
October 17, 2008 at 12:00 AM
OMG!!! What an unbelievable fic! lovin' it ... totally! go itachi!
schedule
October 16, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Ok I really like this one. I do hope to see more of it soon. I read the prologue before and thought it had potential but now I really want to know what happens. This seems to have such a unique storyline and I cant wait to see where it goes in the end.
schedule
October 16, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Oh, and I forgot to mention, I think you have done perfectly in describing a child-Itachi. It truly does seem to fit the way a prodigy such as him would have acted. I just have to wonder how having someone like Naruto around is going to affect him. I think in public we wont see many changes but maybe in private he will be a little warmer.
schedule
October 16, 2008 at 12:00 AM
I'm really impressed by this chapter. ^^ The first chapter Itachi was pretty standard fare, but by chapter two, you've already got humanity dripping out of him as he struggles to understand and take care of the broken child. I really enjoyed this story immensely.
Keep up the great work. I'm looking forward to future updates.
Keep up the great work. I'm looking forward to future updates.
schedule
October 13, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Best paragraph award goes to:
“Beautiful…”
Dark eyes fastened and greedily drank in the damage body in front of him. It was, all of it, beautiful from the cuts and bruises that littered golden brown skin, to the way the body laid as if a marionette doll had suddenly lost its strings.”
What a fascinating start to your story. I love the detail and the smooth flow of your writing style. Mix that with your vivid imagery, you have a truly great start of a story here. I love the marionette doll part I must of have read it six times before going to the next paragraph.
It would seem like Itachi is going to start out not really caring for little chibi Naruto but slowly start to care for him. I would love to see how their relationship will grow from here and what they will become.
I wonder how you are going to do the time line? Is it going to fallow the anime or are you going to make an AU. Kinda like how different everyone in Naruto would be if one thing was changed; if Naruto was found and protected by Itachi and not Iruka. How would that change everything in the Naruto Universe; like a pebble being drop in a lake the shock waves it would cause and the things it would change. Would Itachi still kill the Uchiha or would the council order a kill on Naruto? Would Itachi take out the Uchiha and the Council?
I would love to see where you go from here. What will happen? Ooh and I love Naruto’s statement of: “Then I am yours. I, Naruto Uzumaki, am Itachi’s pet.” Plus I wonder what the parents are going to say about this. Will they disown him? Make him live on his own what about Sasuke? Maybe he’ll take him with him? And how will Itachi react when he realizes that Naruto needs 24/7 protection from the village. Will Itachi train him? That could make all the difference no one ever trained Naruto when he was younger in school. It was all self taught, self learned. What if someone was there to train him Naruto? To see the power that he has.
I hope you will continue with this story. You have a great writing style and I would love to just see where you would take this start. I really think it is a great prolong to what can be an amazing story. Will whether you continue or not I’m off to read your other stories.
~The Black Sand of Gara
P.s. If you want e-mail me at Kar.zini@gmail.com
“Beautiful…”
Dark eyes fastened and greedily drank in the damage body in front of him. It was, all of it, beautiful from the cuts and bruises that littered golden brown skin, to the way the body laid as if a marionette doll had suddenly lost its strings.”
What a fascinating start to your story. I love the detail and the smooth flow of your writing style. Mix that with your vivid imagery, you have a truly great start of a story here. I love the marionette doll part I must of have read it six times before going to the next paragraph.
It would seem like Itachi is going to start out not really caring for little chibi Naruto but slowly start to care for him. I would love to see how their relationship will grow from here and what they will become.
I wonder how you are going to do the time line? Is it going to fallow the anime or are you going to make an AU. Kinda like how different everyone in Naruto would be if one thing was changed; if Naruto was found and protected by Itachi and not Iruka. How would that change everything in the Naruto Universe; like a pebble being drop in a lake the shock waves it would cause and the things it would change. Would Itachi still kill the Uchiha or would the council order a kill on Naruto? Would Itachi take out the Uchiha and the Council?
I would love to see where you go from here. What will happen? Ooh and I love Naruto’s statement of: “Then I am yours. I, Naruto Uzumaki, am Itachi’s pet.” Plus I wonder what the parents are going to say about this. Will they disown him? Make him live on his own what about Sasuke? Maybe he’ll take him with him? And how will Itachi react when he realizes that Naruto needs 24/7 protection from the village. Will Itachi train him? That could make all the difference no one ever trained Naruto when he was younger in school. It was all self taught, self learned. What if someone was there to train him Naruto? To see the power that he has.
I hope you will continue with this story. You have a great writing style and I would love to just see where you would take this start. I really think it is a great prolong to what can be an amazing story. Will whether you continue or not I’m off to read your other stories.
~The Black Sand of Gara
P.s. If you want e-mail me at Kar.zini@gmail.com
schedule
October 13, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Huuuuhh. *clinks tongue* Interresting I give it a 5.... *pauses* Outta 5!
schedule
July 1, 2008 at 12:00 AM
I want a cute little Naruto pet for my own too. :(
schedule
July 1, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Interesting! Alright, you've caught my attention, now do something with it. I hope to see more soon.
schedule
June 30, 2008 at 12:00 AM
It has possibilities...I want to see what happens next before I say whether I really like it or not.