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August 8, 2008 at 12:00 AM
“You let him go? I wondered what him did to have his friend fire him, what did he did Sasuke-kun?” It should be "I wondered what he'd done to have his friend fire him; what did he do Sasuke-kun?"
Other that that, great chapter. I like that Neji only hire's Naruto to piss off Sasuke. >:) That made me laugh.
Keep up the good work!
Other that that, great chapter. I like that Neji only hire's Naruto to piss off Sasuke. >:) That made me laugh.
Keep up the good work!
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July 31, 2008 at 12:00 AM
I hope you update again soon.
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July 30, 2008 at 12:00 AM
the most i have to say about this story is that you need a beta big time.
It actually is hard to read some times and it's hard to figure out what you're getting at in some sentences.
So finding a beta is something you need to do soon.
checking the subforum for betas might be a good step as people are willing to offer their services.
It actually is hard to read some times and it's hard to figure out what you're getting at in some sentences.
So finding a beta is something you need to do soon.
checking the subforum for betas might be a good step as people are willing to offer their services.
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July 29, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Him... Naruto's fired... How will Sasuke get home??
Personally, I think he'll get lost in the desert trying to get home and end up calling Naruto - the only number he knows that will pick up his phone. Naruto comes to the rescue. Sasuke shows his appreciation with kisses!~ woo hoo!
hehehehe or not. ^^
Keep up the good work!
Personally, I think he'll get lost in the desert trying to get home and end up calling Naruto - the only number he knows that will pick up his phone. Naruto comes to the rescue. Sasuke shows his appreciation with kisses!~ woo hoo!
hehehehe or not. ^^
Keep up the good work!
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July 29, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Hey, I love this story. I just started reading it and couldn't stop. I love the chemistry between Naruto and Sasuke. It remains incredibly true to their manga/anime personalities, well maybe a slight softer touch to Sasuke. I would like throw my name out to beta for you. I beta for Hakai and I am a senior-level english major. My e-mail is wpalmerdrama@yahoo.com.
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July 29, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Thanks for the update. It will be intersting to see where Naruto is working now.
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July 29, 2008 at 12:00 AM
great chapter!
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July 29, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Loved the flashbacks. ^^
Although the one thing I've found in this story that was confusing was the fact that everybody back in Konoha seems to assume that Naruto's gay, yet Naruto seemed real uncomfortable about Iruka and Kakashi. It didn't quite make sense to me, but if you're saying Naruto never thought himself to be gay, but ended up developing feelings for the Teme over time, than perhaps that makes more sense. It just didn't come across in the story. I'd love to see an internal dialogue chapter from Naruto's pov regarding his confused feelings about his raven haired employer, just to clarify some things up. I think it add an even flow to the story to help it make more sense without the aid of authors notes.
Keep up the great work. I;m enjoying this story immensely.
Although the one thing I've found in this story that was confusing was the fact that everybody back in Konoha seems to assume that Naruto's gay, yet Naruto seemed real uncomfortable about Iruka and Kakashi. It didn't quite make sense to me, but if you're saying Naruto never thought himself to be gay, but ended up developing feelings for the Teme over time, than perhaps that makes more sense. It just didn't come across in the story. I'd love to see an internal dialogue chapter from Naruto's pov regarding his confused feelings about his raven haired employer, just to clarify some things up. I think it add an even flow to the story to help it make more sense without the aid of authors notes.
Keep up the great work. I;m enjoying this story immensely.
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July 28, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Neji!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ;o)
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July 28, 2008 at 12:00 AM
I love this story very very much.
I think Naruto should date Gaara or Neji (thats my second favorite couple after sasunaru)
and Gaara and Neji should end up together in the end too (PLEASE)
Btw I think Sasuke is a bastard and idiot for not realising what he has.
I think that your story would be a lot easer to read if you had a Bata
If you would like I can help <3 just email me @ skyblue_k44@yahoo.ca
I think Naruto should date Gaara or Neji (thats my second favorite couple after sasunaru)
and Gaara and Neji should end up together in the end too (PLEASE)
Btw I think Sasuke is a bastard and idiot for not realising what he has.
I think that your story would be a lot easer to read if you had a Bata
If you would like I can help <3 just email me @ skyblue_k44@yahoo.ca