schedule
July 10, 2008 at 12:00 AM
that was utterly wonderful. you really need a bata though cause there were some spelling mistakes.
I can't wait for the next chapter <3
update soon
I can't wait for the next chapter <3
update soon
schedule
July 3, 2008 at 12:00 AM
hmm, interesting and promising. would enojoy reading more. :)
schedule
July 3, 2008 at 12:00 AM
awww that was so cute, i love the way naruto reacted and how sasuke didn't care that naruto was pissing off his date, them eating subs on the limousine hood at the end seemed almost like a date to me heehee ^^ i'm a big fan of sasunaru/narusasu hope to see some lemons in the future ~_^ keep up the good work ^^
schedule
July 2, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Woot! I'm going to love this story.
Sasuke reaslizes that he doesn't actually like girls right? And that you don't usually get subs and eat with your employer. If he doesn't, he's damn stupid, that's for sure.
I thought for sure that they were already together and that Naruto just had to put up seeing him with other girls because of the parents. But hey, this is better!
XD Update soon!!!
XD LANE
Sasuke reaslizes that he doesn't actually like girls right? And that you don't usually get subs and eat with your employer. If he doesn't, he's damn stupid, that's for sure.
I thought for sure that they were already together and that Naruto just had to put up seeing him with other girls because of the parents. But hey, this is better!
XD Update soon!!!
XD LANE
schedule
July 2, 2008 at 12:00 AM
amazing! this story seems promising! update =]
schedule
July 2, 2008 at 12:00 AM
quite an interesting start. though it kinda went out of window with the quarrel between naruto and the girl. do update.
schedule
July 2, 2008 at 12:00 AM
It's a good concept, but your execution needs some work. You get words that sound alike confused with the words you actually mean (e.g. "I could care less" should be "I couldn't care less"), your tenses are jumbled (choose ONE), your dialog is awkward as often as not, and you have some obvious (and consistent) grammar problems. In short: find yourself a beta. I like the premise though. Thanks for posting!
schedule
July 2, 2008 at 12:00 AM
I think you've got a winner on your hands.
Next chapter?
Next chapter?
schedule
July 1, 2008 at 12:00 AM
interesting i can't wait to see the next chapter.
schedule
July 1, 2008 at 12:00 AM
intrestin very intresting yepp