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September 4, 2008 at 12:00 AM
AHH i love it. i thought id wait till the last chapter to review espically since i read this all in one day. Sasukes being a total ass, and just needs to get over him self. so what he's only gay when he's drunk. thats so unfair.lol. I liked the lemons 2. and the nejinaru thing was really creepy. I was craking up at the party scene with black everything, amazing. hmmm what else. i love that iruka's his father that just made my day, oh and that kakashi and iruka r togetther lol. I cant wait for the next chapter, Updtae soon
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September 4, 2008 at 12:00 AM
oh btw my email is krazy_chick071493@yahoo.com
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September 2, 2008 at 12:00 AM
If you havnen't already found anyone, I say YES PLEASE!!!
Sorry, I love your story, but bad grammar kiiiiiils me.
And the story is so good it would be a shame not to have the best of grammar!
XD
And are you sure there isn't any NejiNaru in there? Because it seriously looks like it! XD
ANd it would so be Narusasu.
Anyway my email: loarrano@hotmail.fr
XD LANE
Sorry, I love your story, but bad grammar kiiiiiils me.
And the story is so good it would be a shame not to have the best of grammar!
XD
And are you sure there isn't any NejiNaru in there? Because it seriously looks like it! XD
ANd it would so be Narusasu.
Anyway my email: loarrano@hotmail.fr
XD LANE
schedule
September 1, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Hey I really love the story you have worked really hard creating a history between these two and a deep relationship as friends, I feel the love. I cant believe that he doesn't even remember any of it, I cant wait till every thing finally clicks into place. At first I wasn't so hot on the idea of so many flash backs but I find that I really really do like them. Dam, the sex will be good when they finally release all the pent up sexual frustration, lol.
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August 31, 2008 at 12:00 AM
I've never betaed before, however, if no one better applies, I wouldn't mind doing it for you. If you do want me to beta your chapters, be sure to give me your email in return. I currently have quite a bit of free time on hand, so I wouldn't mind a bit of productive work.
~Cloudhawk~
PS: The email you can reach me at is magaen_relic@yahoo.ca, or phaedrayll@hotmail.com
~Cloudhawk~
PS: The email you can reach me at is magaen_relic@yahoo.ca, or phaedrayll@hotmail.com
schedule
August 31, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Hey! I vote for SasuNaru because really, Sasuke looks gay, but Naru-chan's mischievous look just makes every seme
out there wanna do him XP
out there wanna do him XP
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August 31, 2008 at 12:00 AM
If you are still interested in a beta email me at zanax_author@hotmail.com.
Update soon!
Update soon!
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August 31, 2008 at 12:00 AM
i could beta... I worked for a writing center for a while. Let me know if you need help. burtbeeslipbalmaddict@hotmail.com
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August 30, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Hello, this review will consist a reply for both stories: 'The Bellboy' and 'The Driver'.
While there area few gramatical mistakes it doesn`t make me cringe, too much, as other stories would. I understand that you are looking for a beta and I would be more then happy to. You would just be getting the chapters sent back to you later in the day since I have college and work. Other than that, I should be more than efficient and try to catch everything I can for you. (My E-mail is written in the 'About Me' section of my profile but for easier access the yokoenkutso(at)bellsouth(dot)net. I felt the need to write out the signs as I`m unsure if it will appear when written the normal way.)
I apologize, I have gotten off track. There is a few things that I must say in regards to the stories. A few...suggestions if you will. At the moment, I have to say I`m favoring 'The Driver' over 'The Bellboy'. I feel this one moves slower and at a more normal pace. There is quite a bit of change in character, which can confuse me a little, but it gives me a better chance to see how everyone is feeling. I don`t know if maybe it was just last chapter that everything seemed to jump too much or what, but the story seems to quick. Of course you could be waiting for the blackmailing part to really take it slow but I feel that all of coud be a introduction chapter instead. Maybe it`s just me...
The only complaint I have about this story is the flashback phase. While I appreciate the flashback a lot of people can`t. That`s why 'Inuyasha' got on people's nerves. 'Prince of Tennis' can be a little ridiculous with them too. That`s one of the reason why I prefer manga instead. The point though is that you should have made an extra long chapter dedicated to the flashback. That way you won`t lose people`s interest and you get it all done at once. Also, I don`t think you`ll have to italicize everything. Before the flashback that have something that shows it`s going to be a flashback. If it was a shorted one than yes the italicize would work but for something this long it`s not necessary. Since you`ve already started you can finish it off like that, but for future reference. ^^
Luckily, neither of these problems have made me want to stop reading. That`s good, very good. Your unique story lines have made me interested to find out what will happen, and I`m anticipating the next chapters. Keep up the good work.
~*Koala*~
While there area few gramatical mistakes it doesn`t make me cringe, too much, as other stories would. I understand that you are looking for a beta and I would be more then happy to. You would just be getting the chapters sent back to you later in the day since I have college and work. Other than that, I should be more than efficient and try to catch everything I can for you. (My E-mail is written in the 'About Me' section of my profile but for easier access the yokoenkutso(at)bellsouth(dot)net. I felt the need to write out the signs as I`m unsure if it will appear when written the normal way.)
I apologize, I have gotten off track. There is a few things that I must say in regards to the stories. A few...suggestions if you will. At the moment, I have to say I`m favoring 'The Driver' over 'The Bellboy'. I feel this one moves slower and at a more normal pace. There is quite a bit of change in character, which can confuse me a little, but it gives me a better chance to see how everyone is feeling. I don`t know if maybe it was just last chapter that everything seemed to jump too much or what, but the story seems to quick. Of course you could be waiting for the blackmailing part to really take it slow but I feel that all of coud be a introduction chapter instead. Maybe it`s just me...
The only complaint I have about this story is the flashback phase. While I appreciate the flashback a lot of people can`t. That`s why 'Inuyasha' got on people's nerves. 'Prince of Tennis' can be a little ridiculous with them too. That`s one of the reason why I prefer manga instead. The point though is that you should have made an extra long chapter dedicated to the flashback. That way you won`t lose people`s interest and you get it all done at once. Also, I don`t think you`ll have to italicize everything. Before the flashback that have something that shows it`s going to be a flashback. If it was a shorted one than yes the italicize would work but for something this long it`s not necessary. Since you`ve already started you can finish it off like that, but for future reference. ^^
Luckily, neither of these problems have made me want to stop reading. That`s good, very good. Your unique story lines have made me interested to find out what will happen, and I`m anticipating the next chapters. Keep up the good work.
~*Koala*~
schedule
August 30, 2008 at 12:00 AM
wow,why is it sasuke never sees any of this let alone his obvious feelings.some people,hope you can update soon