rate_review Reviews

OMG O_O Wow... man... Iruka getting it up the ass with his lovers severed member... that has got to be one of the sickest ideas I've ever read! :D


Great job with the creativity!! ^^ This story is pretty dark. What Sasuke an? Sakura did to Naruto was pretty harsh. Way too harsh if you ask me. They get what they deserved. My only critique of this story is that its too abrupt and on the table at times. Naruto's telling the story and its hard to relate to him. He tells it so distantly that its hard to become emotionally evolved in the story. Other than that, I like the closeness of your focus in this story. Its told just tight enough that we don't know whats going on until its revealed. It makes for a more interesting read.. but like I said before, ultimately, as a reader, I feel as detached for the story as Naruto is emotionally dead telling it. Maybe its what you're going for and it logically makes sense (since its autobiographical so can't be more emotional than the one that is reliving the emotion.) I guess, what I would suggest to improve it would be to switch up the perspective from time to time. Present tense stuff that Naruto is telling is very cold and detached. It reads well with the harsh torture thats going on. Ups the disturbing factor, which is always fun. Naruto sounds dead while he tells it and it gives great insight to how he is while seeking his revenge. However, when you go into flashbacks of what happened, perhaps if you switched to a third person perspective (no narration, just flashback told in standard story format) it would allow the reader (and you as an author) to go into greater emotional depth into what Naruto is thinking and going through and perhaps what the villagers and his former teammates were thinking at the time so as to build a stronger connection to the characters.

Just a thought. Keep up the good work. I like the darkness of your fiction. ^^

I crouch next to her, twist her tear stained face toward me and can’t help but remember that just in a short amount of time, I went from loving her, to despising her very breath. The women I had proposed to. The women I had wanted as my wife, is the person I want dead more than anything in this world.

This line gave me the impression that they were engaged.

OMG! I cried while reading this chapter, it was so sad. Poor Naruto.
I can't blame him for killing all of them now since they were so fucking horrible towards him.
Too bad Itachi were killed, I would have loved it if Itachi was one of the people helping Naruto take revenge aswell as being his lover...*sigh*...I can only dream.. ;P But I love your fic anyway.
Thanks again for writing it, and I hope that you'll get a lot of positive reviews which you deserve.
Keep up with the good work and good luck with the writing.
Take care. Hugs

Dark, extremely dark, but I like it. So Naruto had asked Sakura to
marry him, but how did he end up with Sasuke. I gues that occurred
after. Your dipiction and attention to detail, if the chapters were
a little longer this would be perfect, but you must have a reason.
I will continue to read this morbidly entertaining fic.

:)

I really like this fic because it's one of a kind. All other fics are more different and I'm happy to reaad this one because it's a bit more real and exciting in a way. Though, it's kind off depressing yet it's quite good.
Can't wait until the next chapter gets updated.
Keep up with the good work and good luck with the writing.
Take care. Hugs

Ps. Could I get a vanilla cookie instead? ;P

This is interesting I just want to see where you take the story.
Darker Naruto......

So, how long before we find out what made him go off his nut??? Just asking.