rate_review Reviews

well thats interesting. just a quick question, Uchiha is itachi right and not just some part of sasuke?

wow... Unexpected... cant wait for more. ^^

I'm sorry, but I don't really like your story. The main reason is because of the unbridled OOCness of the characters (especially Hinata, what's up with that?). I know out of character behavior is common and expected in fan fiction, especially alternate universe stories like yours, but your characterization of the Naruto cast doesn't resemble the originals in the least. The only things that stayed faithful were their names. If you had given the reader an opportunity to understand why the characters were so drastically changed, like with a prologue, then their OOC behavior could've had real meaning. It was very difficult to follow the story with all the changes you made to their world, if you had taken less liberties, and simplified a few things, the plot would have made more sense. Any good fan work is rooted firmly in the original media it was biased off of, no matter what changes said fan chooses to make. I think you would benefit from reading the manga again to get a better handle on the characters you're trying to write about. I couldn't read past the fifth chapter because of the OOCness. On a positive note, your sense of timing is on point and your writing style flows very well. There where some grammatical errors, but a beta could fix them for you easily. You have some decent ideas, and with some retooling, your story has potential. As it is right now though, I can't give it a positive review. Keep working hard, this is a good opportunity for growth!

Interesting so far. update soon!

Fantastic chapter keep up the good work.

I Love it chapter 5 was great and I know chapter 6 will be even better so update soon.

Loved it I can't wait to read more so update soon.

Very dark beginning but very good. I can't wait to find out what happens next!!!

Very good start!! Looking forward to this story it sounds great update soon.

Wow!
This seems to be the begining of an amazing fic, I really really loved this one.
I can't wait for the next chapter to get updated.
Thanks for writing it, you made my day.
Keep up with the good work and good luck with the writing.
Take care. Hugs