rate_review Reviews

I'm surprised Tsunande is so naive when it comes to the extent of abuse the child could have possibly received. Obviously any tests that she'd do would still be tests, regardless to the lack of mal-intent that Orochimaru's would contain.

Of course the real question is wither Hiru is an imaginary friend within her mind or the result of one of Orochimaru's experiments. Personally, I'm rooting for crazy, since they are way too many new sealed beasts in fan fiction as it is; being slightly insane and finding a way to overcome that and make it functional would make for a much more interesting read. Although it would be harder to write. :/


Keep up the good work. This is definitely an interesting story and I'd like to see you continue it.

THe italics stuff never works right


just give up~




but keep writing!


your chapters are too short, i require Moar~

Seems like a very good story so far. gonna keep a look out for updates to it, so please continue it.

Okay, I was seriously unsure after reading the first chapter of the story, but the second chapter has made me a believer. This is shaping up to be a really good story and has so much potential. I can't wait to see what you do with it. Keep up the good work.

I can't wait till you update next. I can't wait to see what you write next. ^_^

I like the premise, and you haven't been a horrible writer in this yet~


so! press on! Move ahead!


get this party rolling

YES

Hmmmm... not much to say on this prologue. It was kind of short, yet it still holds promise. Suggestion: Add some more to the chapter to get people drawn in. Especially when adding your own character.

Does it make me twisted to actually want to see the rest of this story? I hope not, but anyway I would like to see more of this story so please update soon.

I am quite proud to be the first to rate this story and also to break the ice on the review page. Hopefully the rest of the people who read this story like it too, but if not, then you will at least have me to read and review your story.

I liked the first chapter overall, it gained the attention of the reader, and also since I am a bit of a spelling and grammar freak, I was very happy to find few if any mistakes, unlike many other stories. The chapter's length was a bit short, but since it was just the prologue, I guess it doesn't have to be long. I hope the next chapters can be longer, but if it means updating less often, just ingnore what I'm saying.

Anyways, love the story and please update soon!