rate_review Reviews

You know, one never imagines sex training as being difficult, but it seems like Naruto is going to have to rise to the challenge. It'll be interesting to see how Naruto gets Kurenai to cum. On another note, I much prefer the Hinata, Haku, Kin, and Temari line up, although that shouldn't come as much of a surprise since I was the reviewer who suggested it. I also agree with you opinion of Kin. Long hair is very attractive and she isn't used nearly as much as she could be in fan fiction. Keep up the nice work.

Okay... honestly? There's this group of about four of you who write the same damn fic over and over again: Naruto-of-the-massive-cock gets every woman in the entire village. Oh, except Sakura because, you know, she's a bitch. Not a single one of you ever really gives a reason for this, other than the fact that you hate her. Fine. I'll accept that. Not everyone is gonna like the same characters.

What I do NOT appreciate is the fact that you and your little comrades are writing crap like this. Kunoichi as slaves? Really. Why is that? If this was a practice that went out of use, why would the Hokage reinstate it? Let me guess... you don't have a logical reason for it, do you? You and the other three just like the idea of a completely subjugated woman, one whose personality and character is stripped away so that she becomes a Naruto Cock Junkie. And, God forbid, there's a woman who DOESN'T want his massive dick. Well, she becomes Public Enemy #1.

Besides the fact that you portray ALL women as whores, you're butchering the entire fandom. Kishimoto may not be the best damn writer out there as far as story and character development goes... but these are still HIS characters you're borrowing. Why not show a little respect for his work and at least ATTEMPT to make them in character? Hinata is very duty bound, but she isn't a slut. She would probably pass out first before ever initiating sexual contact with Naruto, even if those were here "instructions". Also, touching back on the incredibly insulting view on women... you're excuse that they're all slaves to the shinobi? Weak. As can be seen by your little foursome (whether you're friends with them or not, I don't know, but it seems awfully ironic that there are FOUR people who write the exact same damn harem fics over and over. Even your lemons-- or rather what you're trying to pass off as lemons-- read EXACTLY the same), none of you obviously have the ability to think outside the box. Here's a unique idea for you: If you're so hell bent on a harem fic, why not whore out the men? I can't recall EVER seeing a fic done with that premise. At least then we might have a little creativity here.

Now, on a positive note... in comparison to your minions, at least YOU know how to spell and construct a sentence. That, my friend, is greatly appreciated. What you're lacking in plot and PROPER characterization, you make up for in legibility. Not once did I want to gouge my eyes out. You know when to punctuate, when to use commas, when to break off into a new paragraph. You might want to work more on descriptive phrasing as well as fleshing the story out a bit more. And PLEASE, for the love of God, reread the series so that everyone acts IN CHARACTER. I love a good crack fick... but it's only amusing if you can keep everyone in character in a completely unbelievable setting.

I do hope you continue writing... just not this fic. I can tell by reading that you CAN do it, and you have the potential to do it well. Just... please. Be more creative than your sock puppet friends.

Personally i think Shikamaru should Get Temari if anything so my vote is for Tauya you will most likely need to make an OC or two for sand and Iwa pretty sure you could use one of the char from cloud that are already introduced

I'd prefer Tayuya over Temari, Temari would be more humiliated to be captured by the Lazy Shikamaru. Plus, I can see Shika dressing her up in a sexy maid outfit to do all his chores while he watches clouds. I can't wait to see how the real missions go, especially when Naruto gets Haku added to his harem. I can see her befriending Hinata quickly since they're both kind people in spirit.

Well that was a chapter. It tell us a lot of thing about that world and how it works. As for Naruto I say Hinata, Haku, Kin, and Tayuya. Thou I have to say take out Haku. He is a boy for care out loud! If you can please tell me why people like doing this to him. I never got.
As for ideas or things. I want to now how the over girls are doing. Who got Tenten and lest but not lest. LET CHOUJI KEEP INO! I really what to see them as a pairing. You can make it fun or bad just please show them.

Interesting I hope you have Naruto save Sakura from that basterd Sasuke

YAY THIS IS BACK!!!!! HUZZAH!!! And as far as slaves...Haku is such a cutie, I'd say do it with Haku, but I also LOVE Temari/Naruto so do Temari!!!!

oh ya forgot to mention this but what you said about the weakness of the elements is off water is weak against earth and lightning is stong against earth not the other way around

How about both? I mean Hinata, Kin, Tayuya, Haku and Temari are only 5, but incase it's one or the other I prefer Temari

HAKU PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD LET IT BE HAKU!!!