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for Naruto, You're Not Pregnant!

by Jelp

schedule November 13, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Aww... I glad to know Sasuke originally intended to keep his child.
person Rose
schedule November 13, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Yay you updated! I had forgotten how much I loved this story (how I managed that I don't know because I check it regularly for updates) until I read this chapter. I love your Sasuke. He is so... and the way he reacts is just... yeah, I'm just gonna say its perfect and call it good. When I read Naruto thinking about using his son to find Sasuke I immediately was pissed beyond belief, but then I absorbed it and realized Naruto probably would do that if he could-not out of malicious intent but because its Sasuke and Sasuke is his son's other father and they should be together. Anyway, I'll quit the rambling, but needless to say I loved the chapter and I like where you are going with this. Can't wait to see another update, whenever it happens. Goodluck!
person Briryan
schedule September 4, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Great chapter. Poor boys! Looking forward to the next chapter.
person nari-chan
schedule September 1, 2009 at 12:00 AM
i loved it and cant wait till the next chapter :)
person blasterblurby
schedule August 30, 2009 at 12:00 AM
I really enjoy this fic, its the first i've ever read were sasuke was preggers instead of naruto, and can't wait for more chapters! ^.^
schedule August 29, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Aw.. I love the emotions the two of them admit too at the end of the chapter. Both of them hurt and both of them reconnecting at the same time. Although I have to say, this was by far and large the best constructed idea as to how the two of them could possibly end up together. Naruto challenging Sasuke to a battle of sexual prowess with each other and not even realizing what he's doing until he's already committing the act is soooo totally Naruto. LOL

Keep up the great work!
person Shinigami Twin 04
schedule August 16, 2009 at 12:00 AM
OMGBr!!! This is too friggin' hilarious!!!

Tsunade and Naruto, come now, surely being a medic Tsunade should realize that having Naruto bring her alcohol would likely only end in her headaches from him being worse because Naruto would inevitably stick around to annoy her long enough the drowning her irritation would end and thus a major hangover would begin while said annoyance was present to make her headache worse! lol

And HAPPIES!! LMAO, oh my dear god... I love Suigetsu. Love him even more in fanfic land and never dreamed that was possible. Still don't like Karin too much, but she has her own handy humor to her. Ah that group is great. I love how they follow Sasuke because he's so cool but listen to his every word and fear his wrath. Must make Sasuke feel pretty good about his uke self. too bad that will likely have to shatter in the face of the awesome seme powers of Sage mode Naruto. Oh yea... anyway... back on topic. If you haven't guessed, I fully plan to treat you with an ueber review since you so kindly pointed this much needed source of entertainment out. Don't know how or why, I have come to enjoy mpreg Sasuke fics very much. Maybe because somehow it is just so terribly ironically appropriate. (I don't care what people claim, I still logically looking at the possibilities of the series and how things seem to have worked out, genetically, the Sharingan MUST be a maternally passed on trait only. Seriously now. Not to mention, I know Kyuubi is shittastic awesome and all that jazz, but reasonably, a creature like Kyuubi I don't believe would any time of day be down for sharing the gene pool. It wouldn't allow for all out Uchiha Sharingan take over... what would that be needed for when you have Kyuubi power after all? ^___~ )

Dude, and awesome on the Suigetsu noticing that Sasuke is different about his actions and feelings when Naruto is involved. lmao!! LOVE IT!!! And I like how they are so seriously debating his love life behind his back. Sasuke sneaking off for a quickie with Naruto... oh, yea, sure. I bet that is logical. Unfortunately I haven't found a way to make it logical to me yet... Naruto would sooooo drag his ass back to Konoha so fast....

alright, there's chapter one. The crack of the beginning was a nice light start. Not sure if this is going to continue on the crack and fun train or get down dirty serious in some aspects. I guess I'll have to see. ^___^

But love the cute idea of Naruto insisting he is preggers. I really like the use of the sympathy pains thing. I ironically don't see that often in mpreg at all. I guess everything else is so weird about it, why would something else as bizarrely unexplained as sympathy pains also be present...? lol Either way, mpregs don't use the tool that is sympathy pains enough. Sad, sad world.
person Shinigami Twin 04
schedule August 16, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Now Chapter 2, yes I was serious about that giving you ueber reviews step by step as gratitude for leading me here. Besides, when I really enjoy something I like to get down and dirty on the commenting. More fun somehow. ^__~

and I like how Karin, although more or less Sakura equivalent, isn't concerned as Suigetsu and pointing out the obvious fact that Sasuke puking everywhere for a MONTH cannot be good if he is indeed not pregnant. Damn, even if he were depending on the eating habits, activity, etc... it could STILL be bad. Come now Karin, basic dehydration now!

I guess Suigetsu would be a little more sensitive to matters that may involve dehydration though, eh? ^__~

And I could SO see that happening actually. Suigetsu mentioning that Sasuke was afraid to return to Konoha because of Naruto's reaction and then Sasuke promptly slugging him for the implication alone. lol. LOVE IT!

Don't know why, Suigetsu holds a spot in my heart. I have started to miss him in the manga. Damn Kishimoto... killing anything that gets too close to his precious Sasuke. Makes me wonder who really is the main character of that series... it IS named Naruto, right?

I must admit, I am a little confuzzled on the placing of everything in relation to the manga story plot. What was meant my Suigetsu's doubt that Konoha considered him a threat once his true intentions were clear??? What true intentions of Sasuke's could there be that Konoha would leave him be? I assume this is prior to the knowledge that Sasuke wants Konoha to die???

Dude... Sasuke's explaination to Juugo on why the experiments were "acceptable" to him... got a little lost in there, not going to lie... but I guess I got something out of it... whatever. I will let it go as pregger stress. Babbling is allowed. OH DAMN!! Those three and when mood swings come... although, I am doubting Karin and Suigetsu will be allowed to witness intense (because we already know he has minor ones) like Juugo sized Sasuke mood swings... poo

Wow... I'm impressed with your medical prowess on a lot of this. Someone paid attention in biology class. Or maybe kept a medical dictionary nearby when writing? ^___~

LMAO on Suigetsu's response to the good of "putting Orochimaru into an itty bitty baby"!!!

Yea... sadly Kabuto and Orochimaru ARE just that sick that knowing they can is enough... the why... that's a whole other story no one ever wants to hear. I'm sure not even Kishimoto wants to know... and he created the monster!

Nicely played Sasuke. State you don't want to discuss discarding the child and leave it at that. Though, I suppose they don't know enough about Sasuke to understand the whole wanting his Uchiha clan back, and not evil. He did love his family after all...

Nice logic on the only being fertile for pregnancy once on Sasuke's part. I'm impressed he was such a straight A little nin he recalls all that anatomy stuff for the reproductive system of women in such detail... likely thinking he could come up with some super jutsu to destroy kunoichi who dared cross him... lol.

Very logical response from Sakura on Naruto's questioning the status of her eggs. ^___^

Aww... poor little Naruto feels he'll be a dad. And after all, he's always wanted a family!! A little baby for Naruto to pamper all for himself. ^____^

Oh, so we are past the sage mode point... where the hell is all this coming from?! Oh well... I'll keep rolling with the gravy train.

aww... and poor Sakura compounds his issues stating outright how lonely he is. Don't even start bring the Sasuke issue into play. dude... don't be stupid and offer to give him a baby or something insane... maybe a puppy. that would be fine.

Dude, can't wait for explanation on this Sasuke and him three months ago, WTF happened there? And how in such short time??? The time line of this story has to be turned upside down and tweaked into a helix somehow...

WOAH!!! I just realized something... from the way Naruto is talking... and Suigetsu's explaination... dud you just talently discover a clever way to make a SasuNaru resulting in a pregnant Sasuke.... woah..... so not what I was looking for Jelp, but damn. I commend the talent on your part for coming up with that plot twist! WOW!! Nicely done indeed. Don't like SasuNaru, but damn, you're good for that. lol

And logical too, so makes it eerily awesome in that sick, sick Orochimaru and Kabuto are behind this kind of evil thing way.

And woah... the plot twist of the end of that chapter. I HOPE you will indeed be explaining!
person Shinigami Twin 04
schedule August 16, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Woot! Taking up your reviews space! lol Hope you can appreciate all the comments. I can't begin to tell you why I feel the need... perhaps because I really, REALLY don't want to do anything school related and am trying to take advantage of freedom the short time it is granted to me.

The poor baby was a premie? Aww... just 8 months?

points for Sasuke, oh wait... maybe whichever minion he got to do the deed. Likely Suigetsu (I don't see Karin nor Juugo having that kind of stealth)... I would assume childbirth would leave Sasuke a little too tired to go venturing off to deliver said personally delivered to world recently child. Unless this poor thing was SUPER premature and like born at just 7 or 7.5 months! Oh dear!

LMAO! nice logic of Naruto leaving a baby alone.... poor, poor child. Sasuke doesn't know what he's done. Ah... wait, Naruto's not as bad as I thought. Nice cover. He CAN use his one-trick-pony-technique no jutsu for many things, even baby sitting. Who needs those silly little baby monitors after all.

And Naruto seriously thinks that babies have instruction manuals.... wow... lol. I'm surprised that didn't have Sasuke (who doesn't trust you to know what the hell to do and do the correct thing so I will give you written simple instructions so you don't fuck up) written all over the deed.... guess it has been a while for those two...

lol.... Tsunade's dumbfounded Naruto hadn't had the forethought that he could have gotten someone pregnant... it would be logical too, if he thought that men getting pregnant were impossible.., I suppose he still could, but I guess that would mean he doesn't consider himself male. Either way, he thought himself being preggers was reasonable, but evidently Sasuke being pregnant isn't lol. Nice logic as always Naruto. Way to consider the possibilities.

And I like how poor Tsunade has to be thinking "damn, a mini-Naruto to torture me in the future, just what I need."

Alright, now that is taking the whole sound nin thing too far... the pitch of the crying can tell why type of cry and therefore indicate the child's needs? Sure Sasuke, you like to think so wouldn't you. Then again, you being mommy you just can't bring yourself to come to terms with it is mama instinct and not logical pitch of the cry that let's you know these things...


Leave it to Sasuke to have this shit prepared... scratch that... I don't think Suigetsu could have pull a whole remodeling of Naruto's apartment off alone... so there had to be Karin and Juugo somehow... maybe even a tired Sasuke himself and some elaborate jutsus for insurance....

Either way, it worked mission accomplished. Even Gundams couldn't have pulled this shit off so flawlessly.

Urr.... where did Sasuke get 'breast milk'???? Do we want to know? If he got it au naturale, I know Karin was seriously upset for some time and Suigetsu had a good laugh without immediate consequences... then again Suigetsu may have been mature... nevermind.

Dude, fancy shit. Jutsus to have baby food warmed to temperature immediately as needed. Wow... not even wait time! yay for baby!

Dude Tsunade, start fingerprinting everything NOW! You gotta catch someone!

One thing that Sasuke gave away, they know it has to be someone would some pretty good resources to have all that stuff ready for little baby. Did Sasuke leave the task of naming the tyke up to Naruto???

Oh! and Naruto comes to realize!! Dude... slow much. Seriously, I guess the child was all Naruto and no Sasuke in there. Damn, blows my maternal genes getting a chance to take over some against Kyuubi out the water.

Dude... this fic pointing out the obvious crazy shit that can happen in everyday Naruto verse and putting it up against the possibilities of male pregnancy... priceless.

WHA....? Wow... Kleinfelter's what a whopper. Really? You a biology major or something... I'm really impressed. Damn...

HA! This means Sasuke IS girly! WOOT! Yea, show off that pretty supple skin and nice little body. Tries hiding under all those layers and that terrible purple ass bow, but we know the truth. You just frontin'. ^___~

But props on that plot twist. Kleinfelter's is a very unique condition to appear in these. Where did the idea stem from? I was playing around with the idea of AIS personally. Never expected this one to come up, but it would take something a little special like Naruto verse to help it along after all. ^___~

Damn, there went that mood swing and pretty damn fast. Dude... did the doc even get a chance to finish his questions before he demanded they leave? Wow... such obedience, even while pregnant... then again, pregnant people can be scary. (Dude... what as the world come to when I have read so much fiction that it is pregnant people and not pregnant women... lol)

Ohhh... dude... I like how Suigetsu's the first to mention the reasoning and logic behind what Kabuto and Orochimaru did... I thought he didn't want to know. lol. But it does make sense... a infertile male Sasuke means they'll just have to make a fertile male one. I give this an A+ for awesome ideas in the plot! I like the twist of this mpreg. Kuddos!

And they are soooo going to try and listen in, I know Suigetsu probably already knows without having to say anything.

lmao. Sasuke is soooo self-sufficient. Nicely done there Suigetsu. And poor Karin, I'd feel bad for her if she weren't such a fan girl... then again, if she were a true fan girl she would just discover a way to properly implant her DNA into Sasuke's eggs and therefore be freed of the burden of childbearing. I think it would be pretty sweet actually. One of my personal goals in life. I don't mind the having kids, except the having them part. So, he he has 'em I don't mind raising 'em. I say it's fair. The way we do things now is so one sided...
person Shinigami Twin 04
schedule August 16, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Alright, Chapter 4... was about to get too lazy to do all this reviewing like I said, chapter by chapter. This is probably a pain to you anyway... oh well. Your lucky day. ^___^

but I realized I was so close, I may as well go ahead and review the final two. Seriously losing so much time though. Sucks. But somehow seems worth it... it won't when that standardized test comes around though.

And interesting note on the hormone linked to breast milk. I'll have to do some research on that myself. I find these things seriously fascinating. I have done quite the bit of research on the hormones and enzymes that are involved in the development of the uterus in vitro. But getting sidetracked... on with the story!

OMGBr.... crazy wicked sick... just like Kabuto!! Crazy, connecting the fallopian tube to the navel to get directly to the uterus and egg... oh man... you get some serious props for that idea. really? you pre-med or something???!

Where did a doctor get a percentage of chance that Sasuke survives if he has never seen anything like this before???? Err... that's suspicious...

yep, I knew Suigetsu I could count on to be the first to mention the mood swings. SWEET! Too bad doesn't look like I'll get much of the preggers Sasuke action. Poo... that would have been entertaining to no ends to see the entire team deal with THAT challenge!

Jesus help this poor child... Karin wants to give advice on how to mother. Oh my goodness. I think I agree with Juugo, that they deserve a medal for sticking in there with poor Sasuke... and the child deserves one for it's survival... but I guess the bigger miracle would be him surviving Naruto...

Dude... the shock for poor Tsunade. I think that is the most realistic reaction actually ever for Tsunade hearing that Naruto slept with someone not female, and obviously not Sakura, although I personally think that Sakura would be at the top of my list of possible females that could discover a way to get men pregnant so they can continue with their careers. ^___~

I agree with Naruto's anger. So it is alright for Sasuke to be preggers but not himself. lol

Oh snap... Naruto shut down on Sasuke. aww... or maybe he just wants to protect him. I'm thinking more along the lines of angry though. Definitely. he so missed out on some of the great parts. And he really cares about Sasuke and probably would hope he wouldn't have left him out of such a huge thing.... then again, Naruto could forgive and forget with some ridiculous idea that Sasuke just dropped the thing in the toilet one day accidentally when taking a shit and didn't know until then... lol That would make for a hilarious story! (I secretly await the day I find a fanfic with such a little funny nugget in it!!)

Either way, it seems that Tsunade still knows Naruto well. Only one guy he cares about that much. And if Sakura was the first guess for the woman, then Sasuke would have been it for the male... although this story makes that arguable now. Speaking of which... the Uchihas must have had a tight as fuck lock on medical records for Tsunade to not know about his condition... seriously, I'm sure nin's have medical exams and very through check-ups. Not to mention with all the Orochimaru stuff, a great deal of that went on with Sasuke... well... so the possibilities of this fic can have some minor plot holes... nothings perfect... as we can see in Kishimoto's work as is often.

LMAO!! Oh... priceless. Naruto thinking that Sai can make babies with his drawings. That takes asexual reproduction to a whole different level! lol

Not to mention a little unnerving that Tsunade so easily asked if Naruto slept with Sai as well... -_-;

Whew... I am SO glad your fics are on flash drive! Dude... I may want to be more cautious of that...

anyway... poor Naruto, scared shitless. Look what you did Sasuke!! I do hope he returns as Tsunade does, poor Naruto deserves family, hell all the shit that both have been through, the should be allowed the opportunity to give a good go at something their respective parents weren't permitted to give them. No da?

Well... sadness next... last chapter you updated... dude... I hope this isn't one of those dead things you are throwing at me. That would make me sad. T-T