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July 15, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Not trying to sound rude but there is a story consistency issue with chapter 2... before the sex scene between naruto and Hinata, you said that naruto was taking a shower and ONLY had a towel covering him before they started making out, yet later on you told that he had to reach down his PANTS for his dick... but how did he have pants on if he just got out of the shower and was only covered with a towel? Sorry I notice these things a lot. Good story thus far though, however the consistence is a bit faltering.
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March 19, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Love it! Love it! Love it! More, please. I'm a big fan of threesomes, and combined with Neiji being one of my favorite anime characters...Thanks for a great, well-written read.
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March 9, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Hmm... this story has a lot of potential. Good plot, good grammar -- nothing to detract from the story. I like how Hinata seems confused about her feelings for Neji, and this makes it possible for the story to go anywhere. Neji is lovely in how frustrated he is, and in how difficult he finds it to express his love, his want for Hinata, knowing that the girl is also in love with Naruto. Good job... update soon. :)
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February 17, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Angsty second chapter to the story... I especially liked the ending where Neji was found peeping on Hinata..... that made me laugh out loud.
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February 7, 2009 at 12:00 AM
awe, Poor Neji. That was a great chapter. I cant wait to see were you take this.
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February 4, 2009 at 12:00 AM
I cant wait for more. Who is going to be the lucky guy that gets to go for her first. Or maybe its both at the same time. Hopefully it is both or just naruto thanks
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February 4, 2009 at 12:00 AM
I was so happy to see this updated. I can't wait to see what happens when Naruto and Neji find out about each other... Yay!
Slave
Slave
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January 29, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Actually I had read it for not so long ago at fanfiction.net, but I still love it and hope you continue putting your other chapters. =) There isn't enough good threesome with Hinata! ;)
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January 22, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Very good beginning. You've intrigued me! ^.^
Keep going
Keep going
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January 21, 2009 at 12:00 AM
O_O omg... i feel so sorry for Hina-kun right now. and i can guess at what happens, but now i hafta read. good luck and here's to more story ^^