rate_review Reviews

Incredible. those were all amazing stories. Each very tender, loving and very erotic. Nicely done.

BAHAHA! Ahem. Sakura lightly grabbed his tentacles? Interesting imagery that brings to mind in the middle of that scene... The wonders a simple error can do to the imagination..

That was amazing to put it frankly, I'd always seen this story but I'm not a fan of Sakura in the least, nor most pairings involving her, I usually read Sakura storiesthat bash on her like "Moving on" and such anything where she breaks down and realizes how much of a bitch she really is to most people. That being said, I enjoyed this tremendously, it wasn't a "fapping story" for me as some would put it, the passion, the attention Deidara paid to her, the way he seemed to play her masterfully and the detail and writing made me believe that they weren't just fucking or having sex but making love, real love, even though it wasn't that for either of them.

So..........KUDOS!! KUDOS to your massive skill in conveying emotions through words and congrats on a great success in a pairing that really normally makes no sense. =)

Wow. I need a cold shower. Hell, a freezing drop into an icy lake might be better. These were two of the hottest lemons I have ever read. Every description, sensation, action...wow. Just...wow.

Fate

Oh. My. God. That lucky BITCH. I can't wait until Gaara or Kankouro. *Grins evilly* You know those puppet masters have to have skilled hands and fingers. And Gaara's skin has never been touched by the elements. It's got to be like silk!

I think I really like this story. It was very discriptive, although I'm sure that you never heard that coment(sarcasm). I loved each mans view on sex. Rather it was an art or it was strategic. Each one had an idea and supported it with every move. I really hope you add another chapter. Hopfully one as good as the others. You are a very talented author. This story has my seal of approval.

With much respect,



The Prince of Madness

I'm very surprised this fic only has one review. It's one of the best written lemons I have had the pleasure of reading. I will agree with the first reviewer, the lyrics I think are a personal choice, but I didn't read them. I usually don't. When I see something of that sort in the beginning of a story I tend to pass by it. Perhaps I'm just too eager to read the fic.

Overall, I am really impressed. You took two pairings that aren't that popular and made them amazing. I have always been a Dei/Saku fan and was happy to see your first chapter was that pairing. I never gave much thought about Shika/Saku. Maybe that was because I haven't come across a well written fic such as this one to support that couple. I have always been a firm believer that if its a good story you can make any couple work.

It's really disappointing to see such lack of feedback to someone who is obviously done an amazing job. Your grammar and spelling are great, which is a big plus for me. Also, you give amazing detailed scenes. I really hope you conitnue this series. Looking forward to Kaka/Saku, Naru/Saku and Ita/Saku ^_^ Just throwing that out there.

Let me start off by saying that I enjoyed this. Overall, it was a nice little lemon. However, it was a little hard to get into. I think this is because of the song lyrics at the beginning. They did absolutely nothing for me as far as setting the scene or contributing to the fiction. I'm not sure if this is for a competition or something that requires a songfic. If it is, ignore that comment. In the beginning, there are some one sentence paragraphs that could be combined. I think that would make your story flow a little better. (Not that it really needs help with that...) For some reason, your comma usage changed about halfway through your story. The second half, I loved! The first half, I wasn't so crazy about because the lack of commas made it slightly harder to read. I think I spotted two typos (I know when you're proofing things that the typos just disappear on you. I'm pretty bad about not typing "a" and writing "he" instead of "the".)
1) Verb usage -"The mouth there teasing the turgid flesh..." I think the "teasing" should be a "teased".
2) "against he hot vice" I think this should read "against the..."
My favorite part was when you used the hands as an erogenous zone. It was well done. I just wanted to let you know that I enjoyed reading your piece and look forward to reading more from you in the future.
Khalida-dae
P.S. I dislike reviews that say "Good! Write more." or the equivalent, so I tried to give you a little bit more substance than that.