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March 12, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Good god. That was...Perfection. Pure pure awesomeness. Oh my.
I need to go...Clean or lie down or something now. Golly.
I need to go...Clean or lie down or something now. Golly.
schedule
March 12, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Well...I'm too lazy to go on LJ, so you get my review here! ^^
You wanna know what the best thing was? Having read the whole chapter except for the end because rereading the whole thing had the ANTICIPATION rollin'! I LIVED for the ending because more than ever I could literally feel Kakashi. How his thoughts were becoming broken and jumbled and purely emotional, while almost overriding the physical aspect. AHHHHH! My heart was beating so fast it's ridiculous *nods*. Even if you're not completely satisfied with it, I hope all the positive feedback you get will indefinitely change your mind. Personally, if I had written something this aofjheiofa (yes, that's a word...somewhere...) I would print it off and frame it on my wall for the WORLD to see! XD
I loved the intensity provided by the italics and the little offhand comments in parentheses. The repetition absolutely KILLED me at some points "curl, curl, curl" "slam, slam, slam" ...Oh my lorrrrrd! With everything from Kakashi's point of view, the sex was amazing. Despite being a female who only "recives" (XD) I think you totally channeled the sensations a man would feel while...um...engaged. XD
Aside from that, there were some sentences that really stood out to me (well, more like the WHOLE thing).
"And then you realize it was this you've been fighting against since the moment you slipped into that bedroll and pressed your hearts together; since the moment you woke and first caught the scent of his arousal; since you tried to break him down by reteaching him all the lessons he never properly learned because you never properly taught them." Every time I read this, it hits me so hard because it shows Kakashi is beginning to break himself down, as well! Ahhh ♥!!!!
"You break the kiss slowly and shift your hips off of his so he doesn't notice that your erection has slightly waned, tempered down by those strange stabs of heat through your chest. The fire's burned awry, you think, and not in the right direction." This sentence is pure genius! Probably my favorite out of the entire chapter, believe it or not ^^;
I could spend all day picking through this and saying "I liked this" or "I loved that" but that would just get old after a while. You already know how obsessed I am with this story XD (And the art that comes with it!) I hope the next chapter comes easier for you, like I said, the uncharted territory has now been...charted! The onnnnnnnnnnnly thing I have to question you about (and you're going to laugh because I noticed something THIS ridiculous) is how their balls can swing together from that position...? XD
'Kay I'm done now =P
♥♥♥
You wanna know what the best thing was? Having read the whole chapter except for the end because rereading the whole thing had the ANTICIPATION rollin'! I LIVED for the ending because more than ever I could literally feel Kakashi. How his thoughts were becoming broken and jumbled and purely emotional, while almost overriding the physical aspect. AHHHHH! My heart was beating so fast it's ridiculous *nods*. Even if you're not completely satisfied with it, I hope all the positive feedback you get will indefinitely change your mind. Personally, if I had written something this aofjheiofa (yes, that's a word...somewhere...) I would print it off and frame it on my wall for the WORLD to see! XD
I loved the intensity provided by the italics and the little offhand comments in parentheses. The repetition absolutely KILLED me at some points "curl, curl, curl" "slam, slam, slam" ...Oh my lorrrrrd! With everything from Kakashi's point of view, the sex was amazing. Despite being a female who only "recives" (XD) I think you totally channeled the sensations a man would feel while...um...engaged. XD
Aside from that, there were some sentences that really stood out to me (well, more like the WHOLE thing).
"And then you realize it was this you've been fighting against since the moment you slipped into that bedroll and pressed your hearts together; since the moment you woke and first caught the scent of his arousal; since you tried to break him down by reteaching him all the lessons he never properly learned because you never properly taught them." Every time I read this, it hits me so hard because it shows Kakashi is beginning to break himself down, as well! Ahhh ♥!!!!
"You break the kiss slowly and shift your hips off of his so he doesn't notice that your erection has slightly waned, tempered down by those strange stabs of heat through your chest. The fire's burned awry, you think, and not in the right direction." This sentence is pure genius! Probably my favorite out of the entire chapter, believe it or not ^^;
I could spend all day picking through this and saying "I liked this" or "I loved that" but that would just get old after a while. You already know how obsessed I am with this story XD (And the art that comes with it!) I hope the next chapter comes easier for you, like I said, the uncharted territory has now been...charted! The onnnnnnnnnnnly thing I have to question you about (and you're going to laugh because I noticed something THIS ridiculous) is how their balls can swing together from that position...? XD
'Kay I'm done now =P
♥♥♥
schedule
March 3, 2009 at 12:00 AM
OMG! this story is great cant wait for the next chapter! xxx
schedule
February 27, 2009 at 12:00 AM
To be completely blunt: this is insane! And I love insane! ♥ I haven't read anything on here in a long time and your review made me all happy and want to indulge in whatever you have posted on here. Dear lord if only I had known SOONER! I swear with each chapter my lungs burned because I wasn't breathing properly because I was so on edge and DYING to know what happened next. You have me floored with Sasuke's bittersweet characterization. To get into the mind of an individual who feels things but is unable to describe them is no easy task, but you are doing it so perfectly. You cultivate the smallest seed of a narrative and develop it into this amazingly vivid description that never ceases to leave me awed.
I live so much for sexual tension and you have dragged it on through several chapters perfectly, building it up so strongly in the both of them to the point where it can no longer be ignored. The entire bit about feeling "hunger" and how it lies in remission only to be triggered by the subtlest things really captured me. And as they finally kissed, the entire end of that chapter was so powerful and vulnerable at the same time--and I love the confliction of that!
Whew...sorry for the novel I seem to have written here, summing up all the thoughts I've been having for the past hour or so is pretty difficult, but I tried.
I'm not on LJ unfortunately...so I hope you keep updating on this site as well! ♥
I live so much for sexual tension and you have dragged it on through several chapters perfectly, building it up so strongly in the both of them to the point where it can no longer be ignored. The entire bit about feeling "hunger" and how it lies in remission only to be triggered by the subtlest things really captured me. And as they finally kissed, the entire end of that chapter was so powerful and vulnerable at the same time--and I love the confliction of that!
Whew...sorry for the novel I seem to have written here, summing up all the thoughts I've been having for the past hour or so is pretty difficult, but I tried.
I'm not on LJ unfortunately...so I hope you keep updating on this site as well! ♥
schedule
February 27, 2009 at 12:00 AM
XD I'm spamming you back! I promise oneofthesedays I'll go on LJ...it's the laziness, I swear it's like a plague. But I'm on ygallery as sycopowerranger and can find you if you're on there to REALLY spam you! ^^
Ugh it's like 7:30 here too, but at least it's Friday~
Ugh it's like 7:30 here too, but at least it's Friday~
schedule
February 27, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Awww I heard LJ is confusing...but I'm so tempted! I'll probably end up doing it because I'm so easily persuaded XD
...and cuz you're so nice! *hugs* ♥
...and cuz you're so nice! *hugs* ♥
schedule
February 27, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Alright I'm working on it now, I don't have a life to attend to today anyway XD
Might take a while though...^^
This should be the last spam message too XD sorry about that!
Might take a while though...^^
This should be the last spam message too XD sorry about that!
schedule
February 20, 2009 at 12:00 AM
I really enjoyed reading what you've written so far and it's nice reading a fanfiction where both parties are affected by each other :P Update soon! also I was wondering if there's anything alike story alert (on ff.net) that tells you when a story is updated?
schedule
February 20, 2009 at 12:00 AM
You've got me hooked. Great story, great writing, great style, great pairing. More please!
schedule
February 20, 2009 at 12:00 AM
A real winner, I'm biting my nails.Characters are so realistic and the slip slide of sharingan has always fascinated me.